I’m so sick of being sick. It’s been five weeks now. I have tried everything. Two courses of antibiotics and various other forms of medication. But nothing has shifted the fatigue and exhaustion that weighs down upon my arms, legs and chest. The phlegmy cough has eased slightly but my left ear is getting worse if anything. I can’t run and even climbing the stairs leaves me feeling as if I have run a marathon. I feel my fitness fading, I sense the weight creeping back on. Yes I’m sick of being sick.

I hate writing these words. I know that it is a pity party, a self-centred whine; and, in the greater scheme of things, this #firstworldproblem pales into insignificance against the real horrors and injustices taking place in the world today. Grenfell Tower, Syria, famine in Africa, the list goes on. But all I can write about is how I feel. And I’m sick of writing about how sick I am of being sick.

I was lying in bed the other morning, wallowing in the me-mire and venting at God in full on Psalm 13 mode – ‘How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?’ I bombarded him with questions. Why am I sick? Why are you not listening to me? Why am I not healed? What are you trying to teach me because I’m stumped?

As God tends to do, he answered my question with a pointed but loving question – ‘Stephen, where is your Bible?’ Er….it’s downstairs, why? Silence. Then more silence. I took the hint. He hears me and he wants to heal me. But I have to allow him to heal me. And I can’t do that unless I listen to him, live in his Word and obediently keep to the path he has pre-ordained for me. It’s a team game. He doesn’t expect a lot from me but he does expect me to take that first step. He will do the rest. He will move the mountain.

We live in a fallen, broken world. Sickness was not part of the original plan. We brought it on ourselves. We are all sick. Spiritually sick. And no doctor or emergency department can cure you of that. Only Jesus, the Great Physician can. He will heal you if you believe in him and trust him. And part of the trust process is to follow him and his teachings. To learn them, by reading his Word, and then apply them consistently to our lives. Until we do it as second nature without even thinking.

Sin is like quicksand. The more we try to extricate ourselves from it the more it will suck us down. We cannot escape it by our own means. We require a lifeline. And that lifeline is the Word. And the Word is Jesus. We need to allow him to help us. I truly believe my physical sickness is a by-product of spiritual sickness. Earthly medication has not worked to date. God is trying to teach me that in order to be physically healed I need to avail of the spiritual medicine that he is offering me. His living Word. The Bible. The ultimate pain killer.

I am going to take the hint, God. I am going to grab the lifeline you threw me. I am going to pick up my Bible and read it. Read it with a fresh hunger for your wisdom. I am going to put my total trust in you and pray you deliver me from this sickness. Revive me and refresh me. Heal me of this physical virus, yes. But also heal me from selfish, sinful thinking. Heal me from unhealthy, obsessive thinking. Heal me from my old self. Create a new me. A healthy vessel able to step out and work for the glory of your Kingdom. Be that blogging, running or whatever.

When did God last speak clearly to you? 

Do you believe that physical well being is linked to spiritual well being?

Are you sick of being sick? Talk to us if you require prayer. 

29 thoughts on “Sick 

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  1. Do you believe that physical well being is linked to spiritual well being? Oh yes. If we aren’t in the right place spiritually our physical being is unhealthy too. I may not resort to the bible like you but I meditate and reset my thoughts when the need arises. We are what we think. Blessings 🙏🏻

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  2. Yes, spiritual and physical (and mental) well-being are all linked. Each can affect the other, however, one is not the always the cure for the other. Even the most spiritually healthy person succumbs to some physical ailment at some point. I have been led down paths of physical problems due to my mental state though.

    It really isn’t good if our spiritual nature blinds us to our physical state. That’ll catch up to us.

    I’ve been having lots of physical issues the last couple of years, nothing huge, but sometimes I think about the days I could do things I can no longer do, especially on days like yesterday, when I spent a lot of time leaning into the engine bay of a diesel pickup truck replacing a water pump and my whole body was in pain (still is today).

    I’m hoping to heal up today and be ready for whatever challenge tomorrow brings.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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  3. I definitely believe physical well being is linked to spiritual well being. But I know how you feel, “sick of being sick,” once, I was puking my guts up for I think 17 days straight! That was not fun. I really hope you get better soon! I will pray for you. 🙏

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  4. My answer to your question lies within the meaning of this post …

    Job’s story in the Bible also gives perspective in this area.

    And a healthy spirit is strength to cope with and sometimes heal physical, mental, and emotional problems. We certainly worsen our conditions by expecting perfect bodies and minds and, in doing so, rebelling spiritually.

    Personally, like Paul, I prayed for inborn thorns to be removed up to a point. But I have come to accept their purpose which, as it was with Paul, is to keep me humble before the Lord who has made my soul well.

    Your sickness is as real in the first world as it is in the third world. God would not discount your prayer for healing on the basis that you are privileged more than others. The Bible favors prayers of the righteous (Psalm 34), not discounting anyone because of their status. Whether or not God would remove the thorn in your side, He loves you just the same and is attentive to your cries; He is my comfort.

    Blessings and prayers for you from me today.


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  5. Preach on it! So glad you listened to God and got out your Bible. I’m probably lots older than you but I talk to my mom everyday, and when something like that happens to me or a friend, her question is, “has God been trying to get you to do something, and you’re not listening?” She’ll say, “If you won’t listen, God will slow you down to where you have nothing else to do but listen.” Praying for your healing. God bless you 🙂

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  6. Unwavering faith in the Word of God and His healing mercies is key. I know for sure that God sees, He knows, and He cares. It is well with you. Remain blessed always.💯👍


  7. Great insights! I’m with you in so many ways, although most of mine is related to migraine or other head issues. But I can say that I’ve had some of the sweetest fellowship with God when migraine stills my mind yet prevents sleep. The Word that I read earlier comes back to me then, and often I will hear Him more when I am stilled by pain. It’s not a bad trade!

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      1. Maybe not always, but I have definintely meditated on the fact that He chose to experience pain. It just makes me love Him that much more. Hope you are feeling better soon! I’ve had some of those long illnesses, and it stinks to feel like all your fitness goals are edging back to the beginning.


  8. Sick of being and sick of writing about how sick you are…Totally get that feeling. ☺ but there is only one answer, and that’s to run to Jesus in our weakness. It’s hard to remember that when you are in the moment though because we are human and feeling bad sometimes takes over..thats ok as long as you remember to run back to Jesus.


  9. When did God last speak clearly to you? 
    I just love how you use these questions to draw us back to God and His Word. I would say God speaks to me in different ways. For instance, just this morning. Well, actually every morning there is a little finch that sits right in front of me on the picture window. She’s got a deformed beak. The lower beak is longer than the top and it looks like she has a stick sticking out of her mouth. It never fails, though. She ALWAYS comes to the window and stairs in at me when I sit in my recliner. I am reminded of Matthew 6:25-34. I am reminded how God cares for each and every one of His creation and we don’t ever have to be worried about anything.
    Do you believe that physical well being is linked to spiritual well being?
    I do not believe physical well being is linked to spiritual well being. If that were so, I would have NO hope whatsoever. I also think of Joni Eareckson Tada. She was paralyzed at the age of 17 and has become a tremendous encourager and speaker in the Lord. Her faith rises above her circumstances and God’s strength and grace is mirrored in her obedience and compassion for others in Christ. Also, take a look at John 9:2-3. “His disciples asked Him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened that the works of God would be displayed in him.'” That doesn’t tell me that my spiritual well being depends on my physical well being. 🙂
    Are you sick of being sick? Talk to us if you require prayer. 
    Oh goodness…YES! I was talking to one of my good friends yesterday when she came for her bi-monthly visit. I sometimes don’t know which is worse. The constant battle of chronic illness or the chronic pain I deal with on a daily basis. Either of these things wear you down and tend to cause you to have tunnel vision. When your sick and in pain, you can’t take a vacation from yourself. You’re forced to deal with it all the time and no matter where you are. It SUCKS! Still, I am so fortunate to have such a supportive network of friends and health specialists available to me. It wasn’t always that way. It took YEARS before doctor’s figured out there was something REAL going on and it wasn’t just the drop in the bucket diagnosis of anxiety or depression. Not that those things aren’t real or a major issue. Don’t get me wrong. Since suffering from 3 suicide attempts as a teen, full-blown bulimia, and two nervous breakdowns I understand that mental illness is a very serious matter and there is a lot people don’t understand about chemical imbalances and harmful thoughts. The Lord has brought me through so much and I discovered that He often uses us in our weakest moments and our most painful experiences. I also know that He continues to renew my mind daily and I am happy to say I have not been suicidal OR had a breakdown since 2007. I also realize that, if anything does happen again, the Lord will give me the strength to get through it and He will bring others into my life to share my relationship with Jesus with. He is such an AMAZING God. Inward, upward, and outward. Search inward to find the areas the Lord wants His children to recognize and restore to Him. Search upward to find the answers in Christ. Search outward for ways to reflect His image and extend His grace to others. 🙂


    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful and interesting reply. We will pray for you of course. You sound like a spiritual Wonder Woman lol. I also loved your story of the finch who visits you. He sounds like a great friend. Oddly enough my next blog post is going to be about a hedgehog who I had an encounter with the other night. Hoping you have a good day – Stephen.

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