I appreciate that some of my subject matter can be quite dark and depressing at times but today’s post marks a new low. I apologise in advance to the more fainted hearted of you but this story has to be told.
We have a thief in our midst.
When Rebecca told me she wanted to bring home an elf this Christmas I was initially excited. I was thinking Cate Blanchett, Liv Tyler or Evangeline Lily.
But no I got Elfy the Elf….
Since then he has wreaked havoc. And I give you….
But much, much worse was to follow.
He had to take it a step too far. He drank all my Diet Coke. You don’t want to meet Stephen without Diet Coke. He’s like The Hulk. Except I’m not green. And don’t have his muscles. But apart from that. Literally identical.
This means war on the elves. I shall be raising an army of orcs forthwith and descending from Mordor upon Elfy and his kin. They can expect no mercy when, on my command, hell is unleashed.
They shall not pass….
*Elf & Safety Footnote – No elves were harmed during the making of this blog post. So far *
Are you suffering an infestation of elves this Christmas?
What is your favourite LOTR race? Hobbits? Dwarves? Elves? Orcs? Ents?!?!