The Blame Game

How many times this year already have you grumbled to yourself about a situation you have found yourself in? Bemoaned your circumstances and muttered ‘why me?’ under your breath? Shook your fist at the heavens and cursed your bad luck?

When it comes to feeling sorry for yourself I have it down to a fine art. Where there’s a pity party going down I’m invariably the first one there with a bottle and a tray of sandwiches. It’s as if I take a perverse pleasure out of any misfortune that befalls me. Because then I can focus totally on my favourite topic – myself.

There’s a problem at work. I invariably place it at the door of my senior management. I never blame a member of my team because I’m such a nice guy remember? But anyone a pay grade or more above me is fair game because that’s why they’re paid the big bucks right?

Or something goes wrong in the house. I’ll blame Fionnuala, the kids, Charlie the border terrier, the postman even; anyone but myself. I feel like Captain America at times as I must have the world’s most awesome shield to deflect all the blame heading in my direction. I must think I’m made of Teflon because as far as I’m concerned – nothing sticks.

Shifting the blame and shirking your responsibilities is no walk in the park let me tell you. It’s hard work. It involves lying and conniving and all other sorts of other disreputable behaviour. Your brain is constantly working in overdrive trying to keep ahead in the blame game. By the end of the day I’m invariably exhausted. Being this perfect and faultless doesn’t just happen.

And why do I slave so tirelessly at the blame game? Well let’s consider the alternative. Facing the uncomfortable truth. Looking in the mirror and realising, heaven forbid, that some of the messes I regularly find myself in might just be of my own doing. Some of the wounds I sustain might be self inflicted? Somebody call the Reality Police! There’s a man down over here.

If we are brutally honest (and that’s what this blogging business is all about after all) and take a good, long look at our circumstances we will find that, more often or not, we are least partially at fault for what has happened. Did we really have nothing to do with the latest office crisis? Are you 100% without fault for that argument you had with your friend last night? Is it really the kids fault that you lost your cool with them at the weekend?

Acknowledging and taking responsibility for your own failings and shortcomings takes guts. We tend to gloss over them and focus on our more positive characteristics when we are taking stock of our actions. It’s so easy to point the finger at others when, in fact, there are four more pointing back at ourselves. Oh alright then, three fingers and a thumb but you get my drift.

Take a moment and replay the last ‘disaster’ that took place in your life. Now conduct a mental inventory. What could you have done to have avoided or minimised what happened? Were your actions totally without blemish? And if so what can you do now to rectify the situation. That’s the great thing about the blame game. No matter how late in the day it might seem there is usually always time to make amends. Throw that Hail Mary pass. Score that injury time penalty kick.

Take the blame and ease the pain. In the long run everyone’s a winner that way.

What are your thoughts on The Blame Game? Are you a player?

37 thoughts on “The Blame Game

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  1. Whoa guilty as charged! I here what your saying, my daughter washed her cup (for he first time) I took the tea towel to wipe my hands and a cup fell out🤬I suppose she shouldn’t have wrapped it in there but I should have looked. Another way of looking the blame game is setting boundaries. Please check out my post ‘https://sweetsummeronline.com/2017/12/05/saying-no-when-you-mean-yes/
    Please let me know what you think?
    Happy New Year BTW 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such truth! It is a daily accomplishment to own both your successes and your failures equally. Funny thing about blame, when you admit your own mistakes others are disarmed because it is so expected to point the finger out not in. Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Taking responsibility for all sin is hard. I blog transparently to encourage others to face themselves in the mirror, but still I fall short. Thank you for pushing us with this post. I found you on Twitter. Have a blessed day, Julie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As human beings we are always looking for where to throw the responsibility when something goes wrong. Blame game can be really nasty and can make the other party resentful. I try to look towards myself first when something happens. It has helped me avoid conflicts and made me teach others to ask first before blaming-I mean perhaps the person didn’t do it in purpose right?

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  5. For the last couple of years, I’ve tried to work on identifying my feelings, and it’s helped a lot. 🙂 We certainly don’t like admitting when we’re wrong, but it can definitely help. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. I used to be (and probably still am) GREAT at blaming my husband for every little “disaster” that happens. Through years of couples counseling and individual therapy, I’ve learned (am learning) to take responsibility for my actions or part in the so-called “disaster.”

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  7. I used to blame people, but I sit back now and really think about the situation at hand before I point the finger. When I was drinking of course blame was the first on my list! We have a hard time as humans accepting that something could actually be our fault, we look naturally to blame others first off. We are perfect, HA! My new approach now in sobriety, “Silence is Golden”

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  8. Hi, firstly thanks for following my blog 😍
    It takes courage to accept your own failings and the part you play in arguments etc. I often tell my children (and husband!) that they are not responsible for the actions of others only for themselves, I hope that one day they will realise that I’m right!

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  9. Thank you for posting! Just what I needed to hear,. I also have a tendency to think I’m made of Teflon. While I don’t do resolutions, this is definitely one of the priorities on my list for this year. I need to really look and see where I’m at fault and hold myself accountable. No matter what.

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  10. Ah, the blame game. I’m quite good at it myself, as most of us are. It is a deep seeded part of human (fallen) nature. Both Eve, “the serpent made me”, and Adam, “the woman you gave to me,” are the first examples.
    As with most things, we have to man (or woman) up and take responsibility for our actions, asking God to change our hearts to be inclined toward Him, not ourselves.
    Chuck

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  11. My husband recently told me (as bluntly as only spouses can), “You always have an excuse, even if it’s a good one.” I have resolved to make it a matter of prayer to swallow my excuses. Even the good ones. 🙂

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