My Name Is Stephen and I Am A Snorer

I’m feeling a little under the weather. I awoke yesterday with a cold that one of my daughters thoughtfully passed on to me. One of the perks of sharing a house with little people. I felt lousy yesterday and a little less lousy today. All I want to do is sleep. All Fionnuala wants to do is sleep as well. But she has been unable to. Why you ask? Well I’m glad you did. For I have a confession to make.

For my name is Stephen Black and I am a snorer….

I know this may come as a shock to you and for that I apologise from the bottom of my phlegmy heart. There was you thinking all this time that I was the perfect man without a flaw. If you want to unfollow the blog now I fully understand and we can both just move on from this unfortunate incident and pretend it never happened. It’s for the best. It’s not you, it’s me. And so on.

I don’t think I snore all the time. But when my head is congested and my lungs are tight I guess I do. I woke up this morning to discover that my wife was not in bed with me. Had she finally seen sense and left me? Or possibly been abducted by little green men? If the latter then they don’t know what they have let themselves in for. Those Farrell woman are tough and don’t take kindly to being poked and prodded.

But no. I checked my phone to see that I had a WhatsApp message. From Fionnuala. At 4:53 am. Stating that she was downstairs and could still hear my snoring over the sound of the television. Surely she was mistaken. We live about twenty miles from Belfast International Airport so perhaps it was a plane passing overhead. Or our neighbour’s rooster having a particularly croaky start to the day.

Unfortunately I have to hold my hand up and take this one on the chin. My super snorey saliva stained chin. I am a secret (or not so secret) snorer. I checked the overnight news but thankfully there were no zombie related incidents for I feared I had wakened the dead. Just my wife. So now I feel lousy for two reasons. But I’m off work today so she has the pleasure of my company which is surely a silver lining. Er….right? Hello…..?

We all have annoying characteristics. Many people attempt to portray themselves and the lives they lead as perfect and wonderful. Don’t believe me? Just scroll down your Facebook timeline for two minutes. What we get is a heavily edited, airbrushed version of their realities. We don’t see the arguments and the tears and what they look like first thing in the morning. They seek to deceive us but really they are deceiving nobody but themselves.

Ever done that yourself? Show of hands? Don’t be shy now. Well I’m raising mine. I used to be like that. I had convinced myself that I had to portray a perfect image in order to be liked. Until I realised. The people who truly matter see beyond the mirage. They see the truth. They want the real you, warts and all. For that is the person they love. Our flaws are what make us so unique and fascinating. We should embrace them, not try to hide them in the closet with all our other skeletons.

So my name is Stephen Black and I’m a snorer. And I bite my nails, have a terrible memory and a million other bad habits that drive my wife nuts. I once asked her did I annoy her when I breathed? Her response? ….Yes. 😳 But I am me. And I know that buried deep down (waaaaay deep down) are other qualities that balance out the equation and make sharing a life with me worthwhile. Don’t be embarrassed by your imperfections. For it is they that make you perfect.

Are you a secret snorer? Or do you live with one?

What is your worst habit? I promise I won’t tell.

What are your experiences of the false Facebook culture?

43 thoughts on “My Name Is Stephen and I Am A Snorer

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  1. Oh I love that! You’re so gloriously honest! I have bad habits and flaws galore. I too bite my nails, I am rather fidgety and ask too many questions. I’m naturally messy but love order, I eat an entire packet of Ryvita Thins by myself every lunchtime with avocado and cheese and too much butter, I don’t share drinks with anyone except my husband, my memory is shocking and my sense of direction is nil. Some of these could be and in fact probably are quite irritating. I too hope that the good qualities balance things out a bit. In truth, I probably try extra hard to be kind to compensate for my failings, I guess that’s insecurity for you. A fear of being alone in the world with nobody except Betty and a few vices.
    Great post and I love your honesty. I think that’s 30/0 to you! I shall continue with my boxes … 🤨

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Your blogs are always well worked. You really have a delightful way of capturing the human nature, both the positive and negative side of it. I know that I like to think that I show the world my best parts and save the horrid bits for home but I know that is not true…the people I meet just have to take me as they find me….
    Once again thank you for making everyday normal people behaviour fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband snoring is out of control. I’ve considering recording him but then he’d record me and I would have to hear how bad I snore. Ignorance is bliss so I’ll leave things as they are.
    I hate FB for that reason. Just the way people wish their children happy birthday these days makes me want to vomit. I try to be real life but tend to focus on how my life is always a comedy. If something crazy or bizarre is going to happen it’s going to be to me. I mean my entire shelf of my daughters precious moments comes crashing to the ground so my husband saves the nurse head out of the rubble. I’m a nurse my daughter is in nursing school. Only this family!
    Snore on

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Snoring (even if you’re not aware of doing it except when you have a cold) and “annoying” breathing are not simple “imperfections.” They can be signs of a serious disorder.

    Have you ever had a sleep study done? I did, and was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA), which means that I have a narrow, easily occluded airway, and that I stop breathing when asleep – many, many times every night. This puts a heavy strain on the heart, as well as causing chronic fatigue, irritability or depression, and a host of other ailments we don’t usually associate with poor oxygenation.

    The treatment for OSA is to apply Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) by means of wearing a mask attached to a machine that supplies air under pressure, which helps to keep the airway open. Working with your doctor and respiratory therapist, it can take a period of experimentation with mask sizes and adjustments to air pressure (for the tale of my first night on CPAP, see my post “The CPAP Saga” at https://wp.me/p6ktGc-7B), but sometime between three weeks and three months most people get the system tailored to their needs (including solutions for minor comfort issues, which I’ll be dealing with in a future post at my “Butterfly, Be Free!” blog), and begin to experience therapeutic benefits.

    Please contact your GP to get a referral to a sleep medicine specialist, and have a sleep study done after you get over that cold. You are worth the effort, to yourself, your family, and to us, who enjoy your online presence so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. …sorry, wasn’t finished. I don’t snore but I do make crazy loud moaning and groaning noises in my sleep almost every morning and my husband has to give me a little kick so I’ll stop!😄

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As usual your humor is wonderful and you are real. All of us have flaws and it is good when your loved ones know them but love you in spite of. Facebook is designed to encourage an image of deception. Notice the many features they added to boost your beauty and to project a perfect image of you to the world. Sadly, the younger generations are caught up in the deception and are losing their self esteem among other things. Continue to keep up the good work. I look forward to read your posts.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I love this!! My husband is a snorer and it makes me crazy..I often wake him and say, “can you please just stop snoring, I’m trying to sleep over here!”…and it’s not typically in a kind, patient, loving voice…so there’s me being honest..
    Also I used to have facebook but ditched it 5 years ago because I felt like I was guilty of showing just the pretty side of my life….now I have this blog I started last year and I show myself as transparent and honest as ever and the best part is that it all points to Jesus!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. No, it’s no secret. I snore and so does my husband. He snores more than I do, of course! But no one could out snore my Dad. My kids came home from spending the night with their Grandpa wondering if there was a bear in the house!

    Like

  9. No snoring here Stephen but very brave of you to step up and admit you are a snorer!!!! I have several bad habits these are mainly caused by my ED. Several things that i have seen on social media such as facebook i have been taken in by. I am not proud of that fact it is one of the reasons i am in the trouble i am in at this moment in time. To this day i still click on the click bait about fitness and nutrition i know for a fact that non of these are good for me but i still have to look to see if there is anything that i have missed……………

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  10. I feel foe Fionnulla,I live with a snorer fir nearly 20 years,a heavy snorer……thanks God he travels … as I need to sleep and he doesn’t look good with bruises all over for my kicks that don’t even make him stop anyway🤣

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  11. That’s why he loves me……. he always says that still after all this years there is never a dull moment ……..p.s.
    Most of the time I’m not sure it is even. A compliment🤣but u should hear him snore ……wait may be you can……we are not that far😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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