At Least You Know Where You Stand With A Zombie

When it comes to scary movies I’ve never been one for vampires and werewolves. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve dipped my toe into the Twilight series. The werewolves do share our surname after all. But Bella did need a good shake by the end of it all and I was kind of hoping that the oh so perfect Cullen clan would have been wiped out in the final battle. Oh that the entire lot of them had been wiped out by a rampaging zombie horde.

Yes, I’ve always been a zombies man. The most terrified I’ve ever been in a cinema was when, aged seventeen, I went to watch George A. Romero’s ‘Dawn of the Dead’. Partially terrified by the content of the movie but more so that I would be flung out for being under age. You see, zombies are the most misunderstood of creatures. Which is why I’ve always had a soft spot for them. Note to self – never reveal to a zombie you have a soft spot. It will probably end in tears.

Zombies are not evil per se. You will never find a zombie plotting world domination while stroking a cat on its knee. Or constructing a death ray machine capable of reducing us all to dust. That’s all a bit above their pay grade. No, zombies are quite content just shuffling about and eating any humans that are stupid enough to stray within arms’s reach. It doesn’t take much to please a zombie. Just feed them. Regularly.

It’s the people who created the zombies who are the bad guys in all this. And that would be er….us. This is excellently captured in ‘The Walking Dead’ where the undead have effectively become a backdrop to the main story where our heroes battle the real monsters – their fellow man. Zombies don’t lie and steal and betray. There’s no need for them to as the survivors are doing a perfectly good job of it themselves.

Our natural instinct is to fear such apocalyptic scenarios. That classic icebreaker – ‘What would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?’ has us all breaking out into a cold sweat. Personally I don’t think I would last five minutes. Unless Fionnuala was there to hold my hand. My survival skills are minuscule at best and I’ve even less common sense; although my marathon running might give me a fighting chance of at least outpacing them for 26 miles or so. Following that I would most likely expire quickly afterwards. Ho hum.

The bonus of a zombie rampage is at least you know where the real monsters are: clue – they’re the shuffling, stinking undead wanting to gnaw on your neck. In the real world we have no idea where the monsters lurk, but oh they lurk. The difficulty is they look no different than you or I. It can be that handsome, respectable guy you meet at the bar; or the unassuming woman you strike up a friendship with at work. It can be anyone, anywhere and at anytime.

They don’t even have to be part of your real world. Don’t believe me? Go online and prepare to enter a whole new world of pain. Catfishing, ghosting, bullying, blackmail, it’s all there. People who you think you know and can open up to turn out to be figments of warped imaginations. They get a kick out of inflicting venom and bile from behind the comparative safety of their keyboards and phone screens.

Fear is fear and pain is pain whether it’s le being chased from your home in the dead of night by the armies of dead or realising that the real monster is the person you thought you could trust and rely upon. At least you know where you stand with you local, neighbourhood zombie. He may not have your best interests at heart but he’s consistent if nothing else. He might munch on your heart for a bit. But he’ll never break it.

What are your views on this post. Please comment below. Let’s talk!

14 thoughts on “At Least You Know Where You Stand With A Zombie

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      1. My favourite is the Swedish film Let the Right One In, but there’s also Byzantium, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (though this has faults, but Gary Oldman makes a good Dracula), 30 Days of Night, Near Dark, the Underworld series (rather violent though, but also has werewolves). Hmm I should do a post about this…

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  1. Modern zombies are a lot like the traditional vampires of old. I’m not a big zombie fan, but I do see your point. In a way zombies are kind of like animals. Animals live to survive. They can’t think like a human, but a broken or corrupted human will do what he must to defeat his or her hunger if you get what i mean. Anyways the first zombie movie I watched around eight years old was Night of the Living Dead. Scared the heck out of me.

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  2. I’ve always been a zombie fan as well, but never really gave too much deep thought into why. I think your post just explained it very neatly. There’s no guile with them, but they’re relentless and consistent, which provides its own sort of fear. You can’t charm your way out of dinner with them after all…

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  3. My son likes a zombie movie that Will Smith starred in years ago that scared me silly. I think they were zombies. He was holed up in his house with his dog while the living-dead scratched at the windows trying to get in. He was trying not to get eaten and I remember he had to go outside for something. I’d ask my son, “Why are you watching that again?”
    He thought it was great.
    I recently befriended someone I felt sure I never wanted her to know where I lived because I thought she might be a manipulator and a user. After being manipulated and feeling used, I began to confront her and she left my life without a backwards glance. So, I prayed for her and for me and told God I needed Him to dis-entangle her from my thought life. When I assisted her here and there, I wasn’t blogging or doing other things. She distracted me from important things that I felt God wanted me to do. So, I continue to pray for wisdom and for God’s protection.
    I enjoyed your post.

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  4. I really liked this post, and I think it might have started some ideas going one of my own.

    To add to the conversation, I’ve read more vampire books than zombies.

    The Twilight series is frustrating to me because there’s *so much potential* for cool stories in the supporting characters, but the main characters are bland, and the romance is really awful.

    Let the Right One In is a *fantastic* book if you want a good vampire novel, so is ‘Salem’s Lot. Lost Souls (by Poppy Z. Brite) is another good one, but it’s super cliche. I’d say the same thing for Interview with the Vampire–very good, but has a lot of purple prose.

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