What Conversations Have You Had With Yourself Today?

Has anyone else noticed the increasing number of people who seem to be talking to themselves in public places? They always cause me to take a double look before I realise, with some relief, that they are actually in the middle of a conversation via an earpiece attached to their mobile phone. Well, thank goodness for that. I was just about to notify the men in white coats to come and whisk them away.

My mobile phone rarely rings these days. And I kind of like it that way. I prefer to communicate via the written word now. Around eighteen months ago I had a massive cull of my contacts list that brought my social diary to a juddering halt. I changed my ringtone a few months ago and then realised what a waste of money it had been as I rarely ever hear it. It’s ‘Easy Street’ by The Collapsible Heart Club by the way for anyone who’s interested. Walking Dead fans will get the reference.

So my phone rarely rings. But like the earpiece aficionados I observe on public transport I often hold conversations with myself. We all do. Mine used to be pretty brutal. An unceasing barrage of criticism and abuse. Past indiscretions and mistakes played on a never ending loop in my head. Welcome folks to the wacky world of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and depressive thinking. It’s a veritable hoot.

The thoughts are still there but are less extreme now. I wouldn’t say life with myself is a constant lovefest but at least we tolerate one another now. It’s an uneasy stand off, a shaky truce at best. But my wife and kids keep me grounded. My running and writing also help to purge me of the feelings of self loathing, guilt and shame which are lurking beneath the surface of my psyche just biding their time and waiting for the right moment to renew hostilities.

It’s important that we take better care of ourselves mentally. And that means trying to cut down on the internal conversations where we end up battered and bruised on the ropes. I find it incredibly hard to take compliments from people. I usually brush them off with a sarcastic aside while thinking to myself ‘Well you wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what I was really like.’

This is part of the reason I’m so honest in my writing both on the blog and in the novel I’m currently editing. I address some unpleasant topics and make no apologies for that. I’m talking to you, my audience, but I’m also speaking to myself. Constantly trying to remind myself that beneath all the negativity is a decent person trying to break out, trying to move on and leave his past behind.

It’s an uphill struggle at times but a necessary one. If we can’t live with ourselves then what hope do we have of a harmonious life with those around us? Being involved in a constant battle with me, myself and I leaves little time for others. We leave ourselves exhausted and dead to the lives that we were born to live. We need to climb out of the trenches and raise the white flag. The war is over.

Unless we find peace of mind then we will find our minds in pieces. There is truth in this truce. Surrender is the the first step towards victory and not defeat. There is power in compromise and understanding. Take a moment today and have a quiet word with yourself. Hold out the hand of friendship and then grasp it as hard as you can. You have just made the best friend you will ever have.

What conversations have you had with yourself today?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

26 thoughts on “What Conversations Have You Had With Yourself Today?

  1. I really identify with what you are saying here. The transparency we both try to display in our writing is a great benefit for us. People can see what we are really like and they seem to like us anyway. I don’t run anymore, unless being chased by something, but I spend time fishing to find that place where my mind only has good things to say to me.


  2. Great post, your honesty sparks discussions, its refreshing to have stimulating conversations. I always tell myself, “Let it go, things happen, now give the rest to God”. I do tend to worry or overthink things or try to figure out, when I just need to let it go. #WorkInProgress


  3. My self is so loud I rarely have a moment’s peace! Often if you see me talking to myself it’s so that I can hear my priority thoughts over the constant barrage going on in my head. I don’t remember all the details in a way I could explain to you but I saw them all and made a mental note of them. Sometimes I stop mid-conversation to comment on the song playing on the radio or lose focus because the conversation three seats away is much more interesting. I also tune out a lot or rather tune in to the barrage going on in my mind and then I can’t hear what is going on around me. Earth to Liz…yeah I’m still here just busy escaping…my thoughts have been to that depressing place where all I can hear are my failures, and to that optimistic place where all I can hear are my dreams, right now I think I’m somewhere in between. Loved this post I think if we were all a bit kinder to ourselves we would be capable of much greater things than we currently allow ourselves to be!


  4. “Unless we find peace of mind then we will find our minds in pieces.” Perfection.
    Beautiful post as ever. My mind is in a constant conversation. Sometimes I bore myself rigid, and sometimes I just want peace and quiet from it all. But mostly I talk to my late parents which may sound a little strange but I find it a comfort. I miss them. How do you move away from the negative feelings from the past? It must be possible … Katie


  5. Oddly enough, even since my calls have risen since I left my fiancé, the anxiety still hasn’t changed my desire to pick up the phone. So many missed calls, even from those who deserve to be answered. I’ve never used at Bluetooth headpiece in my life, can’t stand the things.


  6. My Dad would tell me he had to talk to himself. It was the only way he could have intelligent conversation. He always said it as a joke and I would chuckle at him. Thanks for sharing this.


  7. I talk to myself all the time, and openly discuss things to the Lord, even while in the presence of others. Like if I forget something, I’ll look upward and be like, “Wait, what was it?” He knows, why not ask.

    I’m always delighted when I run into someone who is a talker too. Haha. But it definitely weirds out a number of others.


  8. Some days I’d rather talk to myself, I listen to me and more engaging. Hahaha Some sciency articles Ive read claim or suppose people who talk to themselves are more intelligent. Maybe it’s like reading, where a person may use say a scent of a candle to reinforce a thought or memory. Before you read a book, light a scented candle. Whwn youre done reading, put the candle out. When you go to read the book again, light the candle and you’ll remember better where you left off. But it doesn’t have to be a candle, it can be the smell of the pages of the book itself for all it matters. Comic books have a distinctive smell, and it reminds me of my childhood some. Sometimes we’ll smell something familiar and it will remind us of a memory. A birthday, when we were in a classroom, grandma’s house, a particular park, etc. Whereas speaking aloud to yourself, may be reinforcing something as well. You’re saying whatever it is aloud, and hearing it. It’s not just a passing thought, you’re working something out. Lots of people do talk to themselves, usually in private. But don’t look in the mirror and say, Wow, you’re a handsome fellow! And reply, Thanks, so are you! That’s just creepy. Haha


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