I’m A Christian Blogger But I’ve Stopped Writing Christian Blogs

When we started this blog in May 2017 the large majority of my posts were overtly Christian. They were quite popular and the blog grew quickly with a predominantly Christian following. A lot of those folk still support the blog and this post is primarily written for them. I feel I owe them an explanation for I’ve pretty much stopped posting Christian blogs. There are reasons for that which I hope will make sense to you.

I still see myself as a Christian. I haven’t set foot in a church, however, in over six months and it’s been quite a while since I picked up my Bible. To be honest, I’ve been quite angry with God for a number of reasons that I won’t bore you with here. My prayer life is somewhat hit and miss as well. So, for me, to keep up the pretence of running a Christian blog would be disingenuous and hypocritical on my part.

I could quite easily have maintained the charade. I know the Bible well and could have carried on knocking out daily studies and devotionals. But that would be wrong. Many people have commented on the honesty of my writing and I want to maintain that honesty. My relationship with you guys is very important to my continued recovery from a chequered online past. I want to be as transparent and accountable online as I am to my family in the ‘real world.’

I want to reassure you that I am not backsliding or slipping back into my own ways. I believe I retain higher standards and morals now than I did when I was within a church environment and ‘pretending’ to lead a perfect life. I also saw a lot within the church that made me question if it was the right place for myself and my family to be. Following Jesus is essentially about freedom, forgiveness and redemption. I believe that can be achieved without regular church attendance.

This post is not intended as an exercise in Christian bashing. I could rant and rave but that would be counter productive. Yes, a number of supposed Christians who I would have regarded as friends or acquaintances have disappointed and, on occasion, shocked me as to their behaviour since I made the decision to walk away from the church. But this post is not about them. They are my past and to dwell on such grievances is both draining and toxic.

I am alright. I am okay. In fact I’m better than ok. My marriage is strong and I am loved and supported by a wonderful woman. I truly believe we are raising our kids the best we can. We have taught them manners and the difference between right and wrong. I am excited as to their futures for I believe they are on the cusp of amazing lives. We are a happy family. A happy, functioning unit.

I have my running and writing. Fionnuala has her crafts business. We are content. My book is not a ‘Christian’ book although it does lean strongly on Christian themes of love, hope and redemption. I still believe in God but I don’t believe in a lot of the people who claim to speak in his name. I follow Jesus but I’m not so keen on many of his followers. There are many wolves out there in sheep’s clothing. I have felt their claws and teeth. Once bitten, twice shy.

I hope this post has not come across as negative. That was not my intention. I just wanted to explain my current thinking as I’ve become aware that a number of Christians who regularly commented on my posts no longer do so. I am sorry if my content is no longer to your liking and hope you find other bloggers who meet your needs. I’m not saying that I won’t revert to more overt Christian posts on an occasional or regular basis in the future. I am saying that it’s not for me at present.

I hope the above has made some sort of sense as it has largely been written off the cuff. If I want to fulfil my dream of blogging and writing for a living then this post had to be written. I’d rather take one honest step back than two not so honest steps forward. I hope also that my writing continues to encourage and entertain those of you who still drop by, be that on a regular or occasional basis. Thank you for your continued support.

198 thoughts on “I’m A Christian Blogger But I’ve Stopped Writing Christian Blogs

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  1. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I won’t try to convince you to go back to a church, but I will say that the church I have found has made me see what church should look like (and I love my church). I think too many Christians think when we follow Jesus life should be perfect, when, the truth is, life is far from perfect, but Jesus gives us hope. Too many churches don’t acknowledge the reasons many come to Christ–brokenness, fear, etc.–and instead try to tell them those feelings or experiences are wrong and make them “less Christian” (in my own experience). Anyway, I am glad you still have your faith as that is very important. And you always have your Christian community here in the blogosphere. 🙂

    Liked by 8 people

      1. I’m not a believer but I deeply admire Christians who admit that their relationship with church or God is complicated. Struggling with conflicting emotions isn’t about “testing” your faith; it is a *part* of your faith. I’m positive that your candor will comfort others who suffering in silence.

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  2. I always enjoy your integrity and I had noticed a shift in Christian content…Christians get called hypocrites because we teach/know what the Bible says but we don’t live it, and I know the type you’re talking about at your old church, we have them at our church too and if I’m honest I’m sure I’m guilty of being one of them too at times…I strive to do better every moment though and accountability helps immensely! The thing is we’ll continue to create lukewarm or fake Christians if those of us who truly know the word and believe it, don’t step up.

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  3. This post remains me of a story from paul, when he went into the house of the Lord and basically reprimanded the Christians who weren’t doing the will of God.
    I understand completely. Honestly there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact since you are transparent, it might help others if you could share some of things that are bothering you spiritually. It could help others who maybe feeling the same way!

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  4. That was an interesting update.
    In the beginning of the year (?), when you created the prayer group, etc, I was a bit surprised. I’m not sure how, but it felt “off” to me.
    This feels more “on”.
    Thanks for the heads up. Good to know you’re doing alright though.

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  5. This only makes me like you more. You’ll find your place — or not. To me, any route you choose to take to God (within a church or without) is a good one.

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  6. I appreciate the honesty. It’s your blog and you can write about whatever you want to write about. If you’re being genuine and with the number of followers you have, not everyone is going to like everything you write. Plus I’ve been blogging long enough to realize that most of my original followers and commenters lost interest in blogging. I still miss some of my original followers. But their decision to leave had nothing to do with me.

    I have lost faith in the church myself. Our youth leader recently divorced and moved in with her new boyfriend. Sadly, I’ve come to realize that maybe the church is not the place to teach our children morals. It happens in the very foundations of our homes.

    As long as you keep faithfully believing in God and you are passing that on to your children, that is all that matters.

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  7. It’s perfectly normal to have cycles in our relationships with others, including God. I appreciate your integrity and “realness” in how you are facing your day-to-day life. We are all fallen people living in a fallen world and that makes everything more difficult. I’m glad you are well, and I hope that God’s love shows up in your life, whether you are “in” church or not.

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  8. I am flawed. I have imperfections. I am a sinner. I am a Christian just like you.
    We will never be perfect. We will never be the best that we can be. Yet, we can pray and we can love Christ with all of our heart.
    I have had a few acquaintances who were “devout Christians”. Yet, they did not practice what they preached. They would walk over you, talk about you, and humiliate you. Consequently, I have not returned to church since this awful experience. This is what you call a hypocrite. Not a Christian.

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  9. Great and honest!
    Before I became a Christian myself; the thing that most put me off was, Christians, I thought very much that if they are the sort of people God wants, then I am happy not spending eternity with them thanks.
    Since then I was continually an outsider in my young Christain life and never felt at home or part of a church and really often only went cos God said I should; luckily I did find a Church that included me, nurtured me, and made me see that what I had seen was people standing in a Church, as Rick Warren put it, you can stand in a Garage, but it doesn’t make you car.
    I sincerely hope, that, you and I can both work our anger, or is it perhaps frustrations, I waver between which is better because frustration makes me angry … and that you guy continue to grow and be happy, but also that somewhere along the line you find a Chuch family that wants to nurture you, care and grow you, and is genuinely inclusive and supportive, although being human, with its usual flaws, quirks and idiosyncrasies that drive us a bit nuts at times.

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  10. The early church was just a group of people getting together for fellowship sharing struggles and sharing the Jesus story. I do see your blog as a church. You share your struggles some of us comment ours and we are all in this together. I don’t feel quoting scripture posting devotional is necessary for a Christian blog. But that’s just me and I’m weird and proud. After all God created me this way!!

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  11. Dear friend,

    I am a Christian too but nevertheless I also have much respect to the other world-religions as Sant Kirpal Singh has put it: “Everyone should stay in his or her own religious envirement and become a good Christian, a good Moslem, a good Buddhist, Hindu, Sikh etc.” And He added: “No need to dig out new wells…” God made man but man made religions. There are there to make us think of God and messengers in all times from different religions were sent by God to teach us “humanity and to behave as humans” – to be one family as we are all His children.

    Thank you for your honest thoughts and words 🙂
    All good wishes, may God bless you
    Didi

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am a Christian. A catholic to be exact. Like you I took a break from church at some time in my life. I suppose we all do at some time or another. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian. Walking in faith as well as living your life with integrity is. Attending church is often times a meeting place. Just because you don’t go to church doesn’t make you a non Christian. Your personal relationship with god does. Stay true to yourself and to your family. You’ll find your way back. It may not be to the same church but it will be the church you find yourself called to. None of us are perfect. I know I’m not. I don’t always agree with some of the things all Catholics believe in but that’s ok. I’m true to being me. Keep on blogging and keep on being true to who you are. Don’t worry about what other people think. At the end of the day god loves you no matter what.

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  13. Glad to know I’m not the only one. We left our church about six ? years ago, but I think my Christian walk is stronger than ever. Your faith comes out in your posts. Thanks for your honesty.

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  14. We are usually our own worst critic. Whatever your reasoning for not going to church, being angry at God, or not writing “Christian themed” posts anymore that is between you and God. No worries about this one judging you – we all fall short of the glory of God. Many will still enjoy your writing regardless. Unless you go real dark with perhaps something like satan themed content then I might be concerned about the hypocrisy. I think you’re good for the most part with your audience😊

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  15. I read all the comments here and while many are encouraging, they failed to touch on the important things. I am not as concerned about you posting Christian oriented content as much as I am about your relationship with God. You mentioned not studying the Bible, praying and attending church for quite a while now. While not doing these doesn’t nullify your identity as a Christian, I believe they are essential to our growth & relationship with God. I don’t know what has happened in your life and why you are mad at God but running from him is definitely not a solution.

    Also, when we say “Church”, we, Christians are the church. You might stop attending a particular church building due to past experience but please make sure you are surrounded by the church (Christians). Don’t disconnect yourself from the body of Christ. The hand can’t decide to detach itself from the body and follow only the head, it’s not possible.

    I pray God will continue to strengthen you and send His true worshipper and followers your way. God bless you. 🤗

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Praise the Lord. It is about our walk with Him, not only inside “church building” walls but mostly outside of it. A very precious time spent with Him. I really like what you had to say. ❤ The body of Christ is not located only within walls. absolutely.

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  16. There are many times in my life where I have been angry at God. Usually because something awful has happened to a child. I wanted God to fix it. When God doesn’t intervene in bad things it causes us to question. I also have been angry more than once with”church.” Not the wider church that is all Christians but a specific group whose path seems less than Christian to me. However, I do feel that it is hard to remain Christian without the support of others. We each need to find our home and share our journey with others and vice versa.

    All that said I have considered your blog defined by more than any one thing and that is one of the things I enjoy about it. I too can use Christian thoughts, morals etc. but I write about my life and my thoughts which can wander anywhere.

    Keep up the good work!

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  17. What makes a blog a “Christian” blog anyway? Just writing about biblical themes? I don’t think so. Being honest is so important today as that quality seems to be less and less seen not only in churches/Christians but in our world at large. I enjoy your blog. I strongly believe the church is important but I do understand your hurt and disillusion with the church – I’ve been there. I pray those hurts are healed over time. But in the meantime, you write what is on your heart. Sometimes just writing something that makes us laugh or encourages us in our relationships or just entertains us is just as important as writing biblical themes. I’m new to your blog but I enjoy it. As the wife of a retired pastor I would always advocate for attending church, but you write what is on your heart – I’ll be reading it.

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  18. I don’t often comment on other blogs unless something really speaks to me. You graciously read and followed my blog as someone who seems to truly understand this 40-something Jewish woman who was looking to find some comfort and support from others who have battled mental health issues. I feel your need to explain a crisis of faith as I haven’t been to Shul in years and some claim I cannot call myself a Jew if i don’t follow the religion. I identify as a cultural Jew as I believe the faith community we are raised in shaped a part of who we are regardless of what we choose to do as adults. I believe you can still be a spiritual person regardless of where, how, or if you pray. I’ve had my arguments with God as well. Thank you for your words and your bravery and look forward to reading more of your journey.

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  19. Honesty is always the best policy. No one ever benefits from charades. Lying is one of the worst things, I believe. So, although I am concerned for you and especially over the fact that you are angry with God, I am glad you are being honest, and that you are not feeling as though you need to keep up a front, which is not the truth. So, I applaud you for taking this step.

    Please know that I understand the anger thing, for I went that road for a while, too, so I will pray that, during this time, you will be able to come to reconcile with God and accept his sovereignty over your life. It is my hope that you will believe that he truly does care about you and that he always has your best interest in mind, i.e. what is his best for you.

    And, please know, which I am sure you do, that the church is us, the people, not buildings and not institutions, so the only way you can truly leave the church is to totally leave Jesus Christ. If you are still his, then you have not left the church, though some of the church may have left you, for now. You are still here, and so are we.

    Anyway, just know I am praying for you. And, thank you for being honest. I appreciate honesty. Sue

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  20. I haven’t taken the time to read the comments above yet, but I’m guessing they are something along the lines of support and understanding and similar personal experiences. You and your family are not alone in the struggle between Jesus and some of his “followers.” I was raised in church, like we weren’t allowed to miss either of the Sunday services or the Wednesday night service. If the doors were open, we were there. I haven’t been a consistent member of a church for 10+ years now. The “churchese” and fake it till you make it doesn’t work for me. My ideas are trying to focus on having a real relationship with Him and less energy on the church people. I fail every single day. My belief is that just because we feel far from Him, doesn’t mean we aren’t Christians or are doomed to back-slider status. We are just being human and working on being real. God knew that about us from the beginning. We don’t shock Him with our anger or doubts. He’s got it covered. Most important for us…… “Love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.” Thank you for sharing your truth. It helps in so many ways. 🙂

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  21. Stephen,
    You give me much to think about, especially as I have been asked to become Pastor of Adult Ministry or Pastor of Senior Care, meaning to create a ministry in the church we just decided to rejoin, one that has lost so many members. I read your post, and it started me questioning why I go to church, and how do I create a ministry toward people 50 and over who have not found satisfaction in church, even have been hurt therein, and other baby boomers and older, or even younger, generations who have not found that they want or need a church home. I realized that I needed to address why I go to church, if I am to understand some of what people are searching for when they attend services. But, I also need to understand why some people choose not to attend, and the comments on your posts have been instructive and painful to read.

    I know that because of past experiences, we all may have different reasons to attend. For example, I am a survivor of domestic violence, child neglect issues, and a cancer survivor, so for me, I attend to learn the Scriptures so that I can find ways to help others who are survivors of these and other kinds of situations that appeared impossible to overcome. For me, I find the music and the preaching and the wonderful lessons of Sunday school as moments when I am in the presence of God, learning how to make sense of the world in ways that help me make it through each day. Yes, I read the Scriptures for myself, and as a pastor and teacher, I have to know the Word, so that I can use it to help people know that we can endure, because of the love of God and the presence of God in our lives.

    But, I read recently that in America, nearly 70 percent of Baby Boomers do not attend any religious services, not even once a week, so I wonder why? If I receive so much, how do I create a ministry that attracts people to come and learn of the goodness of God and of His mercy and grace, lessons that would, hopefully, help them navigate through this broken and sinful world better and with less pain? How do I keep people from being hurt in the church, by other broken people trying to find what this world values, namely power and the acceptance and the praise of people, rather than praise from God? We are hurt often wherever we go, on our jobs, in public spaces, and in our families, but, I understand that people expect it to be different at church. What are churches meant to be, and how do we get there in a way that helps and gives hope, rather than hurt and harm?

    Honestly, I will rad whatever you write, for I am fascinated by your courage, openness, honesty, the funny goings-on in your family, and your ability to overcome so much, but never lose sight that you could find your self back in the darkness at any time. I deal with dark days, too, so I know that even as someone who knows they are loved by God that we have times to wonder,”Has the whole world gone mad?” Hold on, and know that you are not alone, and the many other readers and me do not judge you for your choices. Regina

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  22. I noticed when I left a church, the way the people acted had turned me bitter. And it wasn’t until God revealed that a few months later I was able to start to work on humility and forgiveness to fight against the bitterness, the anger, and the hurt of those who I had desperately hoped to call friends, and almost like an adopted family, cause I think church families should be just like that.

    I think your honesty is great because a lot of people relate to it, I know I understand where you are coming from. I think sometimes we like to put the target on God and want to be angry or blame Him for things we are upset we didn’t have control over, so since He is Alpha and Omega it feels easy to blame Him. But I believe that’s a lie of this world. His power and love are so much bigger than that, despite our trials.

    I’ve been repeating to myself lately, “God will not hurt me.” HE never has. Now, people who are deceivers, and fallen believers, absolutely. The world and its flaws. Yes. I can’t control God and tell Him how to dictate my life and how I would like my life to be. In the same way, He loves me enough to let me make my own choices despite having every right to make me as robotic as He wants. He doesn’t.

    Happiness is not contentment nor joy. Progress is being made, that’s evident. I wish you joy and contentment of complete healing.

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      1. I apologize if anything I said came off as harsh or out of line. I try to always be as understanding, open, and honest as I can, and I do not always know how another takes my comments, especially in an environment where we can’t hear tone, you know. How I planned to say something may have been read entirely in a different voice, and I hope against that.

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  23. So many comments already, but I’ll leave one, too — not that I have anything new to add, except to say, I can also relate to your feelings.

    As for being mad at God, you’re in good company. St. Teresa of Avila said (to God), “If this is the way You treat Your friends, no wonder You have so few of them!” 🙂 When I’ve felt angry with God, it’s usually centered around the problem of suffering — my own or someone else’s.

    I reluctantly keep one foot in the church door, but I’ve always found “fellowship” outside the church, and mostly with dead Christians who wrote books. And now I find fellowship with bloggers such as yourself. Thanks for being real.

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  24. I feel ya. I used to blog about God, faith, christianity but after leaving church, I don’t think I know what I believe anymore. And Christians are often cookie cutter, spewing whatever they heard from their pastor. I wish they’d just think before they spoke such nonsense. I’m not sure what I believe about God lately either. I don’t pray or read my Bible. It feels forced. And if I ever do go back to that, I want it to be because I want to. I think alot if us feel as you do.

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  25. Thank you for your honesty. You are still loved as are your family. I will continue to read your emails. Just reach out once a day to Jesus and thank Him for one thing for He is always there. Seasons come and seasons go. A new season brings different things. I am starting a new season too. Where to and what for I don’t know, but I know He is making it happen. Don’t loose touch with His hand. It wants to guide. God bless and take care.

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  26. We love your honesty, just know that there is genuineness to be found in Christ’s followers, I believe a great pruning of the church will occur as times change. Thank you for sharing and for being genuine with us, in a world that is favoring image over heart. God bless

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      1. My husband and I were in the same boat, people are messy but God is bigger than our messiness. Even Jesus’s first followers were very messy individuals, a tax collector, a greedy betrayer, a former prostitute, a doubter, and a coward who denied Jesus 3 times. Church for us is just a bunch of people all chasing after Jesus, living life together, aware of our great need for Jesus in our lives.

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  27. You are a true and honest Christian. That’s rare. We all are angry with God. Remember, we don’t and can’t think like him. He sees the complete total picture. Our thinking is limited. So you will always have that anger. I come from a 3 generation sexual abusive religious family. Now there’s anger. And alot of mentally screwed up family members. It says all knowledge will be known when we die. I look forward to that. Thank you for your honesty.

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  28. Hi. I am new here….but still read your blog….
    Just keep goin….
    All that matters is GOD not the religion.
    The ONE who lead you , will lead you more….
    Keep on inspiring….. GOD bless you and your family

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  29. The reality of life is that people disappoint, but Christ does not. I always try to get people to understand that we don’t go to church to evaluate other worshippers, but to worship. I don’t have the verse handy, but Paul said “do not forsake the gathering of the saints.” I’m not intending to beat you up with bible verses here, but merely trying to illustrate a point. People just don’t get up one day and decide they are no longer going to follow Jesus. It happens through a gradual process of slowly discarding sound Biblical practices and substituting human effort. Not saying your doing this, but you started off your post by saying you were angry with God about something. Perhaps you are in need of finding a new group of followers and more committed believers. Do not throw out the baby with the bath fwater as they say, but rather seek a new place to worship. That may even be in your home. But it sounds more like your issue is with God himself rather than other followers, and the claim of hypocrisy is just an excuse to stop going to church. Don’t forget what is waiting on the other side of the grave. The greatest celebration of faithful believers history has ever witnessed., and the temporary struggles we faced here in this world will seem trivial at best.

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  30. I admire your honesty. Whenever a fellow believer offends you, keep your faith in God, it is He whom you serve. I prayed for you that you’d find a church in which you could grow to and be fruitful and will continue to do so.

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  31. I am in the same boat… However, Christians can’t chase us away from Christ. I became completely disenchanted with church and some of what I saw go on with people who claimed to be so far ahead of me on the path to righteousness. Yes, we all make mistakes, but there comes a point when our lives should begin to look truly different. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Thank you for being real and candid. We need more of that.

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  32. I was drawn to your blog primarily because of the name, fractured faith. It resonated with me. I have difficulty with organized religion. I have difficulty with religion that calls itself Christian, but then operates in ways that are clearly not. I was once very involved in my church – even took university courses and graduated with a diploma in ministry. Like you I am doing my best to follow the messages that Jesus gave: do unto others as you would have them do; be kind; be patient’ be compassionate, etc. I believe in inclusivity, which is why I walked away from my church many years ago (don’t ask, I lost count of how many years). Still, I do believe in the Spirit of Jesus. I believe it is alive and well and operating in mysterious and surprising ways even in this modern age. I believe Christ was and is a realist…okay I could go on and on. I just want you to know I appreciate your honesty. Wishing you everything that is life giving and good.

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      1. I hear you, though there are aspects I miss – primarily social aspects, I could not in good conscience continue to support the church that was such an integral part of my life for so many years. I just could not do it.

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  33. You can reach more people if they are not threatened by the “religion” factor. Our actions are sometimes the only bible people will see. Whether you quote scripture or talk in what we call “christianese” is not that important. What is important is your love of Jesus, what He has done for you and your love for others that I see each time I read your post. Sometimes we are seed planters and some times we may be called up upon to feed and nurture a lost hurting soul….so plant or nurture those seeds – however God directs you. Keep up the good work you have been doing in many lives.

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  34. Stephen, I haven’t been in “church” in five years. No point in looking at the back of the head of the person in the pew ahead of mine while the man on the podium expounds on why the Bible doesn’t mean what it says about the universe-bending power of the Holy Spirit sent to reside in those who accept the Son. When I tell some of the direct conversations I have learned to have with God, they may think I’ve gone ’round the bend. But if God really desires a relationship with His children, how would that be possible without conversation? I’m unwilling to go back to not hearing due to not listening. When I read what you write, I’m convinced you are hearing from Him too. You could even talk to Him about those angry feelings while you are practicing that famous Stephen Black honesty. – Jon

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  35. I follow your blog because what you write is of interest to me, regardless of the topic. I enjoy your dry and in some cases self deprecating sense of humour, your raw honesty and the fact that you do wear your heart on your sleeve. So I guess at the end of the day you’re a Christian who blogs with many followers from all walks of life, differing faiths as well as varying points of view.

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  36. Thanks for opening up. I was sexually molested by someone in church at age 8. I grew up in church and to be honest I see what you mean. Judas Iscariot had the best example to follow but yet he decided to be the evil one. There will never be a perfect church or a perfect Christian. There are highs and there are lows. My only advise for you is that God isn’t the cause of your pain. Humans are. Let this pain push you toward God and not pull you away from Him. I know it hurts but He is the only One who can mend your heart. Find a community of saints to be meeting with. If you can’t find any, start one in your house. You might be feeling this void because God wants you to fill it. Pray about it and see if God is moving you this way. Studying the word will help you my bro. That is where life and strength comes from. Nowhere else. Praying for you🙏🏾

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  37. I hear you. I too am a Christian not writing a Christian blog. It’s ok, and it doesn’t mean we don’t love Jesus. I think it means we are in process, and we are writing to others who are in process. And there’s a need for that, too. Carry on as you see fit. God uses all of it somehow.

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    1. A recent devotional I read states that God wants us to focus on the pleasures He has provided for us. It said that holy pleasures are the fuels that God sends us to help us through this difficult world. I hadn’t thought of that before, until recently, when I was told that some of my humorous poems have “no redemptive value” because they don’t specifically mention Jesus by name. Yet everything good and beautiful ultimately comes from Him. We miss out on so much when we let ourselves become so rigid that we can’t enjoy the good things God so generously gives us. Cute kittens and puppies don’t come with sermons attached (usually), but their sweet antics and love for their people often speak volumes about the generosity and sweet sense of humor of the One Who made them for our enjoyment. Though my family and I are “church people”, I have told my kids more than a couple of times, “Church people really are THE WORST!” And this is just one of the reasons: how can we glorify God if we spend all our time criticizing and critiquing the good things God gives us? Sigh!

      Praying for you, and would love your prayers for me and mine, too.

      “Gwennon”

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  38. 95 comments later… I really need to stay up on my feed.

    I completely relate to ya, as do many intelligent, authentic adults. It’s a stage of life, really. Your kids may go through it when they’re not quite at a mental maturity to deal with a lot of life’s complications; one reason I still attend organized religion.

    I’m on a similar page as you, but thought to share this thought I had two days ago: in marriage counseling, our therapist said we (and everyone) can’t expect love to grow on its own. Every day, we need to connect with each other and make happiness together.
    Later, I realized that my religious relationship is suffering a similar fate. I got mad, I left, I went practically atheist, and now I simply avoid any faithful thinking or theological reading. I’m not building a connection at all.

    So… go where you want with that. 🙂 I’ll keep reading.

    Like

      1. We still attend church each Sunday, but I’m not really there. 😉 I feel quite the hypocrite doing so (as you said). I feel some attachment to God and see the benefit to our family’s future in staying, but simultaneously find my mind recoiling from odd ideas or any pesky spiritual feelings.

        Liked by 1 person

  39. It takes great courage and depth of insight to write what you have written. Though not a Christian (A Buddhist) I feel we can often be caught in the in tensions between religiosity and spirituality. I think Jesus did too. You are on the journey. Great work.

    Like

  40. I completely understand and will keep reading whatever you choose to share with us. As you know I’m sort of shifting away from my very directly Christian blog this summer as well. For me, it’s more exhaustion and time management than anything else lol. None of us can walk your relationship with God for you, you’ve got to make those decisions on your own and right now I think He has you exactly where He needs you 🙂 love you brother and will be thinking of you!

    Liked by 2 people

  41. I must be missing something because I don’t see where you have strayed from your “Christian” writing. You have always been upfront, and honest and that’s why I enjoy reading your posts, warts and all. I don’t go to church so I don’t see that as a backslide. Jesus railed on the church. He didn’t have too many nice thing to say about the “righteous” folks either. So, I’d say that puts you in good company :):) If these readers you have are true Christians, they will not judge, but love you. That’s what we are suppose to do, right? Jesus said, why do you call Me good? There is only One that is good and that is God in heaven. That about says it all right there. I thank the LORD for continuing to bless you, your family and your blog :):)

    Liked by 1 person

  42. I was baptised, did my first holy communion, and have tried really hard to find a connection with the Bible and church. One day in my twenties I had tea with a pastor and his family and he told me that we must interpret the Bible literally and so, if we have a friend who is gay, even if they are our best friend, even if they are the nicest person in the world, we know they are “wrong and sinful” because they are gay. As a single mother I sat there thinking, “What would this man, who does not know me, think about me?”. It’s ideas and judgements like those that keep me away. I am basically agnostic. I loved this post and I really enjoyed reading and learning from the thread of comments.

    Like

  43. I totally get it. I write the occasional faith-based post but love the freedom to write about whatever takes my fancy. Gone through my dry periods as well, and many of my Christian friends share they have experienced the same. It has taken me some time accept the blessing of living in this beautiful place and that I am deserving of it. Being here many times is closer to God, than in a church pew. Take this time to do what is driving you to write this book and see where that takes you. I have chosen to be involved in a few more secular activities to balance out the years of being involved in so many church-related things. It is very human to question things. all the best with your book. Look forward to more of your blogs whatever they may be.

    Like

  44. I wonder whether not writing an explicitly Christian blog will open up a channel for God to influence those non-believers who wouldn’t read a blog of that type. Your values will come across, and that will have its effect.
    With very best wishes
    Penny

    Liked by 1 person

  45. An Unhonest post doesn’t help anyone. I believe that God will work all things for good, even this time period of your life. Keep praying. Prayers don’t have to be “a certain way”, they must just be honest, He knows our thoughts anyway. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Amen to your blog. I went through a failed marriage and painful divorce many years ago. Instead of supportive reassurance that a divorce wasn’t the end of my life, I felt the disapproval from others. I’m a member of a large church. You would think that at least a few members would come to me at a time when I most needed support. No one from church came to me. I found help through counseling instead. I’m not knocking church or people who attend church, but that doesn’t mean they are Christian in heart or soul. They might not have walked in my shoes, but they could have at least understood my pain at the time. I can understand your words and where you are coming from.

    Like

    1. I’m sorry to read of your experiences with the church. I can relate to much of what you say. They can be incredibly toxic, unhealthy environments. They can also be incredibly lonely places. Thank you and please keep in touch.

      Like

  47. Let me try to encourage you today. I hope and pray this word speaks to you. You maybe angry with God, upset and disappointed even. That doesn’t mean he won’t speak to you. I encourage you to pick up your Bible at least once a day. Read it for an hour. Let God speak to you and work with you through this time of struggle. It wasn’t Him that hurt you, it was people. People are just that people, we are human, we don’t think before we speak or act sometimes. We can not control how other act, we can only control how we react. Even though we may not understand His ways, He is always there with us. Truly, I pray for you today and in that prayer I pray that you find your way back into His presence and let Him feed you. Many Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Thank you for following my new blog ‘Casting Ashes’ which is related to work I do with my husband Noel following our house move to Cornwall and change of lifestyle. When I checked out your blog it made me smile as it resonates a lot with themes I upload to my You Tube channel Pipilika – touches of grace, where I speak about my spiritual journey as a recovering Christian (that’s tongue in cheek – no offence meant, but i think you get it) and what comes beyond. i’m convinced that ultimately we will move beyond sectarian definitions that divide us and even beyond all forms and language that belief stems are built upon as we move closer towards unity consciousness (which is after all the ultimate destination of redemption). Great to connect. Please keep writing from your new perspective, because that is where you can offer something new and fresh that will really help others. Every blessing Jill

    Like

  49. I understand. I have not been in church in over twenty years but my relationship with Spirit is better now than it ever was when I felt directed, instructed, rstricted and judged. I know God as a friend now.

    Like

  50. We each have to find our own path. If something doesn’t seem right to/for you, it’s most likely because it isn’t. Even if it was right at one time, we change and so do those around us (one of the few constants in life.) Keep searching.

    Like

  51. Hello, firstly, thank you for following my blog. Secondly, I understand exactly where you are coming from in regards to your blog post. 39 years ago I was baptised Roman Catholic, however after leaving the church, returning and leaving again many years ago. I know indefinitely I shall never return because after a life-changing traumatic event, the only solace I could find was in my own spiritual pursuits through reading, education and knowing what was right for me. The church can help me no more or less than I can help myself. There used to be an old saying, God helps those who help themselves, hmmm. Nowadays I’m not sure how I feel about this analogy, I certainly have little faith in it. I think it’s wonderful that you have a blog and write so honestly and candidly about your life and experiences. I look forward to reading more.

    Blessings

    Onyx.Natasha

    Like

  52. I am a Christian too who also left the church. In fact, I was disfellowshipped. It’s a long story. I was tired of seeing people putting on their angel wings when entering the church and then taking them off outside the church, leaving them like scattered paper plates and cups after a party.

    Sadly, it is the reason why my daughter and I don’t speak although I’ve tried and tried to bring her around. She can have her church and still love me, but apparently not in her book.

    I am the church. I am the four walls of it. I love and I’m loved back. I’m kind and people are kind to me. I’m honest with morals and people respond. I live a Christian life and people still respond. I don’t need nor want any person telling me how to interpret verses of the bible. I don’t need to attend the women’s group where everyone complains about hearth and home and how they deal with it.

    I’ve seen who they are and watched what they did, in horror some times. I am not bashing them either but I’m speaking my truth.

    God has taken up permanent residence in my heart and by example I show people God. He gives me comfort and He gives me power during times of ebbing strength during the most difficult of times. God does not live in a building.

    Thank you for opening up this topic.

    Like

  53. I love the honesty of this post, and I think you are absolutely correct in doing what is right for you. All I can add is that not all churches are the same, and not all who call themselves Christian are the same either. If you miss being in a church, then I would advise finding one where you are accepted and loved for exactly who you are. I’m not sure about Ireland, but here in the states there is a huge variety of Christian churches. But if you don’t miss being in a church, that doesn’t meant you aren’t a Christian. It just means that you are finding your own relationship with God, and that is perfectly okay. Whatever you decide, and whatever path you take, I hope it brings you peace and joy!

    Like

  54. Just came by to say thanks, but saw this and couldn’t stop reading. Your honesty is refreshing and appreciated. Everyone’s journey with God is his/her own.. but I’m beginning to think it can’t start in earnest unless we’re willing to be truthful about where we are and how we feel, and to let go of the idea that we know exactly what that journey should look like. Thanks for admitting that it’s a struggle sometimes. Blessings and love on your Journey…

    Like

  55. Hey I want to first start by saying thank you for visiting my blog and the next thing I want to say is that you don’t need church to know God. Church is for fellowship and guess what fellowship can be done other places

    Like

  56. Hey there! I think if we’re honest, most Christian folks have a horror story from a church they’d rather forget. I have one myself. Hubby and I were actually asked not to return to a church because of my chronic illness. Believe it or not, it’s true. So much for Christ-like compassion and love. We have since found a different church, but we are finding it rough to find a place to belong. Everyone has a clique, and we don’t fit into any category that the cliques are comprised of. No kids, disabled, unemployed. Yada yada yada.

    I have discovered that every single time, man will disappoint you, but God.. He will never disappoint, forsake or forget you. Keep the faith, and keep it real.

    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Hello Fractured Faith – I’m an atheist, but what you wrote here resonated. Your core values are sound and you’re in a happy family unit by the sounds of it. All good things.

    Like

  58. I loved this blog post. I What you are experiencing is the same as many of us. I felt the same way and then I realized much of what I was feeling was more about what I was going through than the feelings or actions my fellow church members were displaying. I go when God’s whisper moves me. I have also found different congregations set off different vibes and the congregations I found that value perfect looking churches and worrying about money rather than acceptance of those that are there and in their pews have more of the attitude you are blogging about. We are all broken and we need to feel that we belong in spite of our brokenness. I find God all over when my church is lacking and my spirit is renewed. Thank you for this post.

    Like

  59. Everything I do should be in line with what I believe is right, not what some creed, tells me is right. That isn’t to say that I always live up to my beliefs. I can still learn from others’ beliefs, and I believe we should never close our minds because someone else tells us to.
    Neither should I close my mind to the fact that I may have got it wrong.

    Like

  60. I very much appreciated your frankness and sincerity. Yes…there’s ‘religion’ and then there’s spirituality/faith/hope/love. I’ll take the latter. Keep up the good work!

    Like

  61. I have always loved my One and Holy Catholic Faith, ever since childhood, and now that 2nd Thessalonians chapter 2, verse 3 is being fulfilled through the current so-called “pope” who is not Catholic but an infiltrator (Communist, Freemason) who is dumb downing the Church to accept Anti-Christ who will come before the Second Coming of Christ. Since I have discovered this after 5 years of asking God, “what is happening to the Catholic church?” Yes, He kept me praying for 5 years but finally, He showed me His Perpetual Catholic Church still exists all over the world in smaller numbers just as He foretold in Luke 18;8 “But yet the Son of man, when he cometh, shall he find, think you, faith on earth?” It is still hard for me to believe that I have found it when so many cannot but not until after many tears and prayers sincerely prayed.

    My advice to you is NEVER BE ANGRY WITH GOD, He Jesus Christ taught us how to live with crisis, pain, and disappointment, the problem with most Christians is they think just because they believe in Jesus Christ, He owes them a comfortable life when His life was far from comfortable. It is when we imitate Him that we will live with Him forever in heaven.

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  62. I’m a Christian blogger too and I write Christian/Faith posts and other type of blogs. If you want to write Christian posts do what I do, Keep it clean, write for enjoyment and every-now-and-then maybe a few times a week write a Christian Posts. If you don’t want to do that do what I do and that is start a project. I joined a bloghop and I try to get a Christian/encouraging post at least once a week if not more. I call it my Project Encouragement. I wish you the best of luck.

    Like

  63. I like your honesty Brother, all a person really has is their word, either it is Truth, or we are actually nothing but feces in a breeze. Being that I enjoyed the read I am going to reblog this article for you. I hope that you and your family are able to have a great weekend.

    Like

  64. I am so sorry you had such a negative experience with people claiming to be Christians. I went through that a few short years ago when my spouse went through a traumatic incident and suffered from PTSD. You’d think the support/encouragement would be there, but it wasn’t. We were both treated badly and I felt so abandoned. I hope that you will eventually be able to connect with Christians soon who will love you the way Christ intended for you to be loved by brothers and sisters in the faith.

    Liked by 1 person

  65. I have just found your Blog through reading a poem just posted that another Blogger drew my attention to. I came to your Blog because it is called “Fractured Faith.” You had made a Comment on the poem that I read. This post has moved me by its honesty. I want to say that I stand with you. Your observations are correct. I feel what you are saying. Been there. Maybe still am there to some extent. I will watch for what you write, but I am blind, and often miss things. I am also wheelchair bound following serious cancer. And yes, God’s people deserted and rejected me. Made cruel comments about my blindness etc. I am coming through now, I THINK. People say they find me inspiring. But inside me I am often a broken wreck. Oh yes, and the wolves in sheeps clothing! Met many. Thankyou for your post.
    Lorraine

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  66. Your honesty is admirable. I too, became very angry with God. An impossibility in my mind until I was squeezed until there literally was nothing left of me.

    Sometimes in the rawness of our emotions lies a great awakening and it is here where God wants us! Our ability to understand that EVERYTHING works to our good, is accurate when we see all that He did in those hard and dark places!

    Be blessed!
    Jill Mansor, author of FIGHTING FOR THE FINISH

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Thanks for the “like” on one of the posts on my blog. That simple act led me here.

    Quite interesting, this post of yours. I can certainly relate to your blog and to this post. Previously, I had a predominantly Christian-themed blog; after a few years of perseverance, I deleted it, just recently.

    Life has changed much over these years–going from one extreme of being in Christian ministry (in the UK, even) to being a Christian at home alone. I think that wherever we are in life’s journey, God meets us there and continues to mold us in the image of HIM. If we allow HIM to, that is.

    Again, thank you ever so much for taking the time to read and “like” a post from across the pond.

    Like

  68. Thank you for stopping by and liking my post. I must say that I understand your position. My primary blog -My Unedited Version of Being Single and Christian -has been less focused on Christian themes for a few years and I have written about my unpopular stance when it comes to the church and religion. We all have our own journey to take whether people approve or not.

    Like

  69. Love your honesty! My break from a church I was engulfed in led me home to Rome and I am catholic now and love it although I also study eastern religions and am finding out what God wants of me balancing Catholicism and eastern philosophy! God is so good to guide us when we ask! Thanks for liking my blog on toxic friendships! The great thing now about my faith is that most of the people are not super involved so I can go, hear scripture sung and read , receive Jesus and thank God and then go home unbothered by church involvement which many appear lukewarm but who am I to judge! They are probably closer to God than me! Lol following you now! I don’t believe your blog was negative or bashing in anyway! Great read and your positivity and love for God shines!

    Like

  70. I think where you are churchwise is probably a reflection of our times. You are certainly not alone. Organizationally, many churches are in deep trouble. But, God has not changed and can fellowship with the sincere of heart wherever they might be. Blessings to you and your family!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I actually believe church is way more than a building. It’s a divine fellowship, a sanctuary from this world that is purchased by Jesus the same way our salvation is. That said, organizational failures sometimes leave individual Christians so wounded they have to retreat to home-based worship or find a new traditional gathering. God sees hearts and I don’t see anything in the scriptures that would suggest He would ever abandon a believer going through a season like this. If anything, I think He will diligently seek them out and love them right where they are. Was it C.S. Lewis that called God “the hound of heaven?” He really is. Blessings!

        Liked by 1 person

  71. Hi, Saw you liked my Pardoned or Paroled blog post. Just fyi, I have been pastor of a pathological church that kicked me out for standing up for the unborn. I’ve seen the dysfunction of many churches. For 15 years we had only a home fellowship with a small group of believers who became family. In 2014 we moved to Wimberley, TX and found a church where I’m now an elder… What I can say about this church is that the people genuinely like each other 🙂 I found out that most of them have been beaten up and kicked out of other churches 🙂 And they have no agenda to control others. There is much more of the story to tell, but it would take pages. Just so you know, I think you would enjoy my book immensely, because it deals with the dangers of legalism and a religious spirit.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. I understand completely where you’re coming from. Many people claim to be following Jesus but they don’t follow His example. I myself used to go to church but left for personal reasons. My husband and I worship at home with our son. Keep holding on your faith.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. I just found your blog. I applaud your honesty and enjoy what I have seen of your writing.
    I am currently in recovery from a childhood of abuses– my worst abuser was ordained clergy. Wolves? Yes. Bitten by them? Me too. Or should I say ‘church too’.
    I think I understand what you are saying here. My own path included some time wherein I stopped creating overtly Christian writing and switched to ‘secular with strong spiritual themes.’ After several years of that, I had the longing to return to Christian writing.
    We also stopped attending traditional church fellowship and did our own thing for several years.
    I re-entered a fellowship recently. I’ve made one solid friend there which has been truly God sent and helpful. But I have found that many within my new fellowship are eager to ‘fix’ me or others who dare to be too transparent (I have learned not to be that open until I know people better) and the one leader that I told about the extent of my past abuse encouraged me to forgive the clergyman who abused me as a child. I didn’t even realize until after that meeting how much I was hoping to tell someone in power, and hear their outrage, their willingness to go after the wolf in their midst.
    I can relate with what you said, about trusting Him but not those who follow Him. I know that Jesus is carrying that big stick to ward off the wolves, so I just want to be close to Him. It seems many are content to just keep peace with wolves. I tried that myself for years and ended up very sick as a result; and very ‘double minded’. I needed some time to rest and abide, and I have a feeling that in time, and with enough healing, I may just show up myself at a fellowship; carrying my own stick to defend those who are unable.
    I wish you well!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reaching out and connecting. I was so saddened to read of your childhood experiences and subsequent dealings with organised religion. I will never understand what you have been through and can only empathise with your grief and anger. I am glad you have made a friend and found a new fellowship. Please keep in touch. I post every day.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. In order to forgive, you first must become angry at the sin and the perpetrator. The feeling of being helpless as a child made you unable to confront the person who exercised power over you. Anger is taking a stand and identifying the sin and confronting the sinner. Only sins can be forgiven. To not be angry is to excuse the sin. But out of rage you can then forgive, for it is saying ‘what you did to me was evil, it was a sin, it was wrong’ and that I forgive. I do not excuse, but I forgive. Forgiveness is NOT an act of the emotions, because we will never feel like we want to forgive. It is an act of the Will. I speak as one who has been kicked out of churches by an entire (almost) congregation, for speaking the truth in love. I walked in bitterness, hurt, and depression until I chose to forgive them anyway. Although I forgave them as people initially, I was still bitter for several years until I learned to forgive their sins against me as well. (Joh 20:23* Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.) I listed their sins and forgave each, and then I was healed of the bitterness and depression. IOW, my emotions got healed AFTER I forgave. Here is a sample of the way I prayed: “Father I forgive so and so for the sins of rebellion, gossip, etc. And I forgive the sin of rebellion, gossip, etc. I do this as an act of my will in obedience to you. I forgive you ____ and I release you to the Father’s care and judgment. I surrender my right to judge, but trust the Father’s wisdom and justice in these matters.”
      Forgiveness is for our benefit, not theirs. Forgiveness heals us of what was done to us, or else we live forever in the past under the effects of their oppression. If you are interested in a more complete explanation, https://www.scholarscorner.com/forgiveness/ might help.
      In Jesus, your fellow traveler,
      Jeff

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you! Yes, and Amen–I have been realizing all of those things. Anger is the first step in forgiving someone. Dan Allendar, an abuse survivor himself, also has some great essays online about forgiveness, and the need to get angry first before we can fully forgive. I will check out the link you shared. God bless you!

        Liked by 1 person

  74. Hello, thank you for being honest. I have had a love and hate relationship with the church for years until I realized that it was personal relationship with God and and not with the church that helped healed me of a lot of anger.

    Liked by 2 people

  75. Everyone goes through cycles – blogging is the same. No one is able to sustain a onesided blog life. You and your family are not one dimensional people, right? Church is not Christianity…relationship with Jesus is. As long as you abide in Jesus and He abides in you, then You have fellowship with the Father. The only question I have is this: is contentment enough to sustain the relationship with Jesus? What I mean is…is that all He requires? Write about what you like. It’s your blog. 🙂 But the real thing is…as long as the relationship with Jesus is tight, you can live your life, and write a blog about real life stuff. 😉 Christians can read their bibles for themselves. Afterall, it does say we have an unction from the Holy Spirit and He knows all things-He’ll teach us …and doesn’t really need our input, although He seems to like to engage us regularly. Don’t let people determine how you walk with God. That’s all I got.

    Liked by 1 person

  76. This was very thought-provoking, and I appreciate your honesty.

    In recent months, my husband and I have felt that our hearts were not really with the church we chose when we first came here. We’ve missed a lot of church, and it hasn’t been that painful. Yet I miss the regular fellowship with face-to-face Christians. That is something I want to learn to pursue more.

    I so identified with these words that you wrote: “I still believe in God but I don’t believe in a lot of the people who claim to speak in his name. I follow Jesus but I’m not so keen on many of his followers. There are many wolves out there in sheep’s clothing. I have felt their claws and teeth.” I think we have all felt those claws and teeth. Sometimes, perhaps, we have been those claws and teeth.

    Keep seeking Jesus. His heart is always for those with a heart for Him.

    Thank you for following my poetry blog.

    Best Regards,

    “Gwennon”

    Liked by 1 person

  77. First, thank you for “liking” one of my posts. I am new at this and appreciate the support. My blog is one of those overtly Christian ones, simply intended to help people in their relationship with God. Thanks for giving some needed perspective. As a pastor of a smallish rural church, I’ve been on both sides of this painful equation. I’ve been the offender and the offended. I’ve often wondered, if I weren’t a pastor, would I go to church? Probably not as often ; ) Thanks for being real.

    Liked by 1 person

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