Do You Want To Be In Our Tribe?

Today is the final day of the transfer window for English football clubs; a day of frenetic activity where the top teams look to improve their squads for the coming season by adding quality players to their ranks. Hundreds of millions of pounds will be spent and moves will be completed right down to the wire. When the clock strikes 5pm that’s it. No more transfers until the next window opens in January 2019.

It is an exciting day for fans and clubs alike, but also a worrying and slightly desperate one. Some are forced to pay more than they intended to in order to secure the player they wanted; transfers can collapse due to contract wrangles or failed medicals. Agents connive to secure the best possible personal terms for their clients. Promises are reneged upon and skullduggery abounds in club boardrooms across the land.

There is little loyalty these days in the world of professional sport. The days of the ‘one club’ player are gone. Players have finite careers so are keen to earn as much money as they can while they can. If that means twisting the knife into the hearts of adoring fans and jumping ship for a better deal with a bitter rival then so be it. Cash overrides conscience every time. There is no room for loyalty when a £100,000 a week is sitting on the table waiting to be signed.

The individual is more important than the team. It is all about self-promotion, selling the self. The grass is greener on the other pitch and the desire to ingratiate yourself with others more befitting of your skill and ability is overwhelming. It’s an unsettling and uncomfortable time for all. Players show their true colours as opposed to the colours of your team which they used to wear with pride. But at least it ends today whereupon the dust will settle and we can all focus on the upcoming season.

It’s a pity we cannot say that about real life where I increasingly witness the same behaviour in our wider society. The transfer window is open 24/7-365. There are so many people who seem permanently dissatisfied with their lives. They are never happy with the hand God dealt them and are always seeking a better job, a faster car, cooler friends. What they have is never enough. They are forever chasing that mythical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Promises and hearts are broken. Best friends pass each other in the street without a word being exchanged. Lifelong business partners end up glaring at each other across the courtroom. Marriages dissolve in bitter acrimony and families are ripped apart. Irreplaceable, lifelong damage is caused and deep wounds inflicted that never properly heal. We become distrusting and defensive, a siege mentality of the soul.

The tribe used to be everything, the glue that bonded families and generations together. The tribe offered solidity and substance. It was our moral compass and the foundation upon which our lives were built. It was both a sounding board and a springboard; a stepping stone from which we launched our dreams and aspirations. Without it we were nothing. Without it we are nothing.

Are you loyal to your tribe? Do you show them the love and respect they deserve? Be it at the kitchen table, around the boardroom or on the field of play. Are you fickle or faithful? Willing to stand tall as the storm approaches or more apt to jump ship at the first sign of choppy waters ahead? For in today’s dog eat dog world we need each other more than ever. Tribe looks inwards as opposed to outwards, they cultivate depth and meaning.

Here at A Fractured Faith we seek to offer that in our own little corner of the online world. We want to build community, a safe environment where bloggers from all around the world can find support and encouragement. We want to be your sanctuary, your safe place, somewhere you can heal and thrive. This is a place where you can be you. We cannot offer heaven, but we can provide a haven. And that’s a start.

How important is tribe to you?

Have you been a victim of tribal warfare?

Do you consider yourself part of A Fractured Faith’s tribe?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

41 thoughts on “Do You Want To Be In Our Tribe?

  1. At the end of the day, the only person that’s really looking out for you is you. Team-playing or tribal commitment involves trust, loyalty, and ultimately what experiences have shaped your view on their importance and overall meaning. One thing I will never do is sacrifice myself for anyone else. I have too much respect for myself and the beautiful person I am. My experiences have made me realize that the trust and loyalty and integrity I’ve shown the people closest to me, were not appreciated or even noticed in most cases. I’m a rare breed. I believe wholeheartedly in those qualities but I will always look out for myself and what I deserve above anything or anybody else’s needs. I was given a crash course in “survival of the fittest” and I’m one hell of a survivor! It would be a beautiful thing to find a tribe that believes in the same ideals as strongly as I do but I’ve yet to be welcomed into one. Until then, I’ll trust myself and only myself. That means I’ll do what I must to keep myself at the top of the game (so to speak). Sadly, pride is not a quality I want to exude and yet this whole outlook just drips and oozes of it. But that’s my inner battle. I don’t even know if I want to post this reply for real. Oh well, here we go….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t even trust MYSELF, so maybe that’s a step even further in that direction. But I do try to be faithful to my friends and family, and sometimes that means being (brutally) honest for the sake of helping them to be all they can be. When I am the “victim” of that kind of tough love, it’s up to me to go to my Creator (the only One I CAN trust) to see if what they said is true and I need to make a change, or if they were (not lying, but) mistaken. We are all flawed, and to me this is the only way to live with our fallenness.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful post. I really like the picture accompanying it. He looks ready to do some serious damage with threat club. You are right. What is sad is that so many people have been hurt by the members of tribes, including families, especially church families, that they are reluctant to trust and sacrifice for others, and that is truly a loss to us all.


  3. I hope I can be considered part of your tribe. I feel like I found real friends here in your blog. I love listening to the other perspectives people have and it feels like a safe place to do so. I have been hurt by many tribes I’ve belonged to; my family, my friends, co-workers, church families, etc. But those who have stuck around, who remain loyal and a comfort, I hold those people so dearly. I never stop looking for new people to add to my tribe because I feel once we lose human connection and love, all is lost. I am a cautious optimist and although I have been hurt I continue to persevere. Everyone deserves love whether it’s as they pass through your life for a moment or those that are there until the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your post, as usual, is refreshing. I love being part of a tribe. I’ve tried isolation and chasing after what everyone deems important, only to find fear, frustration, and depression. I loves my ‘peeps’. Moreover, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your online tribe!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I absolutely consider myself part of the FF Tribe, even when there are things I don’t fully understand. That’s ok – everybody is civil and seems open to discussion, which is what I’ve been looking for in my own life.

    IRL – there are people that I feel have betrayed me, for whatever reason, and dropped me from their tribe. It used to hurt. Now I see it as a gift. “You didn’t value me on this topic, so you shut me down? Right-o, that’s pretty clear.” I’ve removed myself, quietly from some tribes, as they’ve gone in directions that felt very wrong – greed, self promotion, loss of respect for others…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The older I get, the more I realize that the only tribe that matters to me is my family. I am social and have many friends from different backgrounds. But when it comes down to it, family is what matters. None of us is perfect, we have different beliefs, and we all have hurt each other in some way, but in the end, we are always there for each other. Thanks for your thought provoking posts.


  7. I agree that this is a safe place to share. Even if someone is upset by what I write there are many who are supportive. You blogs are about real life and that is refreshing. Sports figures do not live in the real world. Like the cow who eats the grass on the other side we can get our heads stuck in the fence by always expecting some other life to be better. (what a mixture of thoughts? lol)


  8. As someone who never really ‘fit in’, I finally feel accepted by you, your tribe and WordPress. It’s liberating and utterly wonderful to feel a part of something and not just an awkward outsider twiddling her hair and unsure what to say or do. And this has spilled out into other areas of my life – The difference in my life in 8 months is monumental. So, thank you for accepting me for who I am, taking me into your fold and making me feel happy and wanted. Thank you x


    1. You’re welcome and the fact that you are pedalling through France like a crazy woman is a testimony to your progress. If I don’t get an acknowledgement in your book then I’m going to throw the hugest sulk and move into the shed with Betty 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I love the idea of a tribe and getting my introvert self to expand that tribe. It’s the way Jesus lived, after all! And I’m definitely part of the FF tribe. You have created an opportunity for people of all belief systems to share thoughts and opinions without rancor. Well done.😊


  10. The danger is that if you start having a “tribe mentality” then you become insular, and anyone who isn’t of your tribe can be seen as an enemy, someone who is different. And if they’re different they are feared, and if they are feared they are anyone’s game. Look at what is happening in “Brexit Britain” – if you don’t have the right opinion you are seen as a traitor. Or if you wear the Muslim veil you are likened to bank robbers – and those who are in the “White Britain” tribe are given permission to abuse those who aren’t, by ripping off their veils, or calling them names, or worse.
    Yes we need fidelity and support from those we love, and interact with every day, and we need to give the same: but we need to be open and offering to those who are not in our “tribe”. Otherwise we just become a series of groups, who are fearful of every other tribe. So I’d love to be welcomed by you, and learn more about you, but I’m not sure I want to be labelled as part of your “tribe”, because that precludes me from belonging to any other tribe…


    1. Thank you for your comments which were interesting. I’m not political in any way. Coming from Northern Ireland we have been let down for so long by them so I’ve just turned my back on it all. Any ‘tribe’ I would subscribe to would be inclusive.


  11. I’m kind of a mess currently, so it’s very tempting to be embraced by your tribe–knowing that your family and I are both part of the believers’ family of God. Faith is not a magic wand so, while I’m a vocal Christian when things are going well, I tend to keep a low profile when I’m floundering (do you know that song, “Walking on Water”, by NeedtoBreathe? It’s so good, I listen to it over and over.) Anyway, God bless you for reaching out to bloggers–I’ll keep you in my prayers, and hope you’ll pray fervently for me. Thank you.


  12. Wow! What a post!! This has made my brain ache with all the thoughts it’s induced. I am new to the ff tribe but really enjoying conversation and challenges to my thinking.
    I’ve always had the ‘seasons and reasons’ approach – that some people/tribes you will be part of only for a season or a particular reason. You fall in, you fall out – maybe more ‘tribes and tribulations’?
    I would hope I belong to many different tribes but the one that will always remain is my family.


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