Yesterday I started to edit the first ‘Kirkwood Scott’ chapter I ever wrote, over ten months ago. At the time I thought it was award winning and revolutionary. Turns out I was wrong. It was, in fact, unadulterated rubbish. A bloated, meandering mess with no structure or flow. Just a muddled melee of thoughts and ideas which lurched from sentence to sentence. A bit like this paragraph really.
Deep down I knew this, so had been putting off sitting down and reading it again. It had become the elephant in my literary room. But I knew I would have to eventually. So, yesterday I seized the bull by the horns (because everyone knows elephants don’t have horns) and sat down to re-read the chapter through half closed eyes. Please, Please, Please don’t make it as bad as I recalled it was.
It was. I refer you to my first paragraph. I sighed, for I knew it was a rewrite. Bar the setting. I really liked the setting which was based upon a most unpleasant morning I once spent in a toilet cubicle at Newcastle International Airport. Long story but it goes down as one of the most horrific hangover experiences of my life. And, believe me, there have been a few.
An hour later and I had effectively rewritten the chapter. In one go. Bam! I sat back and scratched my head. I read over it again. It was slick. It flowed. It wasn’t half bad actually. What was all the fuss about? Why had I been so worried about peering under this particular rock again? I had hurdled it effortlessly and was now galloping on towards the next chapter. Wee buns as they say in Northern Ireland.
Producing rubbish is part of the writing process. It’s that first coat of paint on the wall. It’s patchy and streaky. It will never see the light of day when painted over. But it is essential in order to ensure the next layer is of better quality. And the later after that. Until eventually you are staring at the finished product which will last you the rest of your life. Every precious stone needs to be polished and refined, otherwise it is just a stone.
I had to endure two terrible experiences in order to produce a decent end product. The first one involved sticking my head down a public toilet and being violently ill. Classy, I know. The second was a form of verbal vomiting which was no more edifying. They were necessary evils but they forged the way for the finished article. Without them I would still be staring at a blank computer screen.
Rubbish living and rubbish writing can result in something worthwhile if you put your head down and power on through. As a dog returns to its own vomit so a writer returns to their early drafts. We sigh, we cringe, we roll our eyes; but we also roll up our sleeves and begin to sift the corn from the chaff, the golden flakes from the grimy silt. If we dig deep enough, we will strike the untapped creative spring.
Write, write and then write some more. Just don’t give up. For you are laying the groundwork, pouring in the foundations and erecting the scaffolding. Every architectural masterpiece resembles a monumental monstrosity at some point in the building process. Just ask Kirkwood Scott. He’s seen it all. Life from the inside of a toilet bowl ain’t a pretty sight. But it’s still life.
How do you feel when you write rubbish?
Where are you at in your writing process?
Have you ever been sick in a public place? Care to share? I’ll hold your hair.
Black Thoughts 
Writing rubbish is very painful, but it’s not wasted writing, as it can transform into something somewhere down the road.
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Yes Pete. As I said, it’s a necessary evil.
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Yes. That’s the way it is. Some can get away with it, but haven’t heard of many.
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I agree with this. Rubbish does matter because it can turn into something other thanvrubbish!
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Definitely! Thank you 😊
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That was such a valid point that rubbish is a part of the process in creating the finished product. Don’t despise the rocky beginnings. Great read!
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shit man. this stuff is good. I love the first alinea 🙂 haha as well as you bashing it. I have the strange life philosophy that everything i do is first draft anyways. So it doesn’t have perfect. It can just be. and i can return to it if i want to. but it is the idea that is captured in crappy words that is gold.
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Thank you very much. That’s a very positive philosophy to follow 🙂
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Writing rubbish only serves to illuminate the good. I’m a huge believer that you can only truly master something when you know all the ways it can go wrong. You learn little when everything is going swimmingly, it’s only when it’s on the floor in pieces that you actually start to learn your chosen craft. Cat’s know this instinctively, hence their love of pushing glasses off of counters, the little “£$!%!, it was the last of the orange juice!
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Thank you Chris. We have the world’s most disobedient, untrainable Border Terrier to contend with 😆
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I love this. Yes, we all must be fine with writing rubbish, and mining for the beauty beneath it, which can emerge as we shape and edit. Thanks for sharing your experience. It helps us get through some hard days when we feel we are generating nothing of value, but we must keep going.
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You’re welcome. Thank you. It’s kept me going these last ten months, I must say. Hopefully progress is being made now 🙂
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My first draft of anything is rubbish. Then subsequently, every other draft, at one time or another, feels like rubbish and I’m certain I should just throw it all away, but then a new day comes…
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Yes. You have to keep going and believe in your own ability. It’s a lonely road but we have little other choice.
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I’m still in the early stages of writing my book. But I can’t wait to see how it evolves. You’re right about rubberish, just write and edit later. I just go for it. That’s all apart of creativity, right?
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It’s the only way Tiffany I’m afraid. Hope your book progresses quickly 🙂
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Thanks, just need to stay motivated and focus. I can get distracted very easily.
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Writing rubbish is like practicing scales on the piano. It sucks but it has to be done in order to gain proficiency.
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That’s very true. It’s one of the reason I’ve kept blogging while writing the novel at the same time. It’s all worthwhile practice.
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Thank you for this today. I have been avoiding writing anything lately as far as non-blogging writing because I think everything I write is rubbish. But I guess you have to sift through the rubbish to get to the gems.
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I’m sure that’s not true. Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder and that applies to writing as well.
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I prefer to edit as I write (Stephen King said Kurt Vonnegut did that, too, so there’s a precedent). As each new day of writing begins, my looking critically at what I’ve written before helps me get back into the flow of the work: after fixing a few things, I’m ready to move forward. I think that’s one reason why I never suffered from writer’s block when I was writing my first novel. I still had many months’ worth of polishing to do at the end, but at least I wasn’t confronted with a steaming mountain of manure to shovel.
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Yes! I have trashed so many rubbishy first drafts. But it always gets the juices flowing. Never been sick in a public place per se, but have had my hair held by a kindly nurse at the hospital whom I will never forget. And I have done my share of hair-holding for my kiddos. 😕 All part of being a mom.
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Yes the joys of parenthood 😉
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I’m glad the dreaded task turned out to be a good one! Funny how that happens. I’ve mostly written rubbish and I just post it because at the time I thought it was good. I read it again and think what a terrible writer I am and wonder why I thought I should post that!
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That’s the only way we improve as writers. Through trial and error. I’m sure it wasn’t as you thought.
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I hope not. 😀 But you did give me the idea of improving my writing by watching some Youtube videos and possibly paying for a writing course. It has been a long time since college. 🙂 AND, I am excited about an idea I just got to make my kids write a blog as part of school this year.
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That’s great that I planted a seed in your mind. Looking forward to seeing how you progress 🙂
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This is encouraging… Similar to photography! You might have to take 100s of photos to finally get a good one!!
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That’s true. But that one photo makes it all worthwhile.
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I think writing rubbish is what helps you find your own voice as a writer. Yes, it’s utterly ghastly when you look back on it, but look at how far you’ve come!
I’m – very slowly – plotting out a “sleepy time” book for my grandson. So, not actually writing, but feeling the shape and rhythm of it, seeing the images, and starting the research. I know what I want it to be – the tricky bit is compiling where the bits are.
And, thankfully – no!
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I’m sure your grandson will love the book. Best you get it written before he gets much older 😉
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“Writing is like sticking your head down a public toilet.”
…and Stephen wonders why I don’t re-blog his stuff.
It is strangely motivating, though. I’m often too shy to vomit.
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By the by… I pulled out my ciphers guide and think I got through most of your letter.
Sheesh, man.
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You got it?! When did it arrive? Is my hand writing that bad?
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Yes. When I commented. Only most of it. 🙂
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I’m sorry I didn’t realise my scrawl was so illegible. I hope it doesn’t put you off replying.
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Nah, that was due to other things.
Don’t worry too much about the handwriting. I just substituted random words, like a Mad Libs games.
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Ok. Thank you.
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😀
“And Stephen never wrote a letter again…”
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Vomiting is a great leveller I’ll give you that. Is reblogging a form of online regurgitation?
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Yes, much like a wild animal feeding its young with partially-digested materials.
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Our border terrier does that. He never shares with the rest of us though.
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Do you want him to?
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I have written many sermons ( I am not a pastor but have been called to preach from time to time). I always have to write a first draft…let it sit for a day and then tackle it again. The first is always rubbish and most thoughts are in the wrong place. Takes much rewrite.
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I was much the same when I taught in the pulpit many moons ago.
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Thanks for the chuckle (guffaw, actually), and some insightful food for thought.
I tend to write the way I talk. People tell me they can hear my voice as they read my works, and it’s like having me in their kitchen talking to them over a cup of coffee. Now I’m wondering if I was spewing rubbish when I actually WAS in their kitchens chatting …
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I’m certain you were not. Thank you 😊
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I’m going to borrow a few phrases from you and this delightful piece to incorporate into my own life. “Like a dog returns to its own vomit” is one I think I will use a lot! And not just for writing. Sound advice served with humor is the the most delicious! Thank you for this!
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You’re welcome. That’s a line I stole from the Book of Proverbs 😂
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Amazing post!! I struggle so much with my writing and always want my first draft to be perfect which it never is!! Thankyou ❤️
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You’re welcome. Thank you very much for the kind words 😊
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Agree to the max! An article or story going from “oh God why did I write this” to “this turned out great” is one of the reasons I became a writer. Actually being able to see my writing skills evolve and improve made me proud and encouraged me.
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It’s great that you are seeing the results of your hard work. Keep going 🙂
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I do not know how you writers can write through and not look back till the overall story is written. I’ve never been able to. And it is true so many pieces need work then when they first appear. But what a wonderful story that can be told!!
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This is true. I could be writing rubbish but all I can do is try my best.
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Thank you for this post, yes the things you believed were ‘good’ seem to lose their sheen after time.
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You’re welcome. Thank you 😊
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I love your clear, honest sharings here and your analogy to coats of paint. Get the primer down, return, paint your color, return, paint, return. A writing teacher I had at a conference calls it “bum glue.” Stick your bum to the chair. Write (and maybe don’t care if the chair sticks to you as you walk around?). Where I have issues is I need to keep MOVING. The old chestnut: how perfection can be the enemy of the good. Evict the censor muse. Throw caution to the winds. As far as public vomiting goes: when I was a “wee one” I felt the urge to hurl while at Aunt’s Thanksgiving table. Loved my Aunt, loved her food and the wax candle turkeys…but ran to the bathroom and met the porcelain. SO glad I didn’t let it out. But boy oh boy it DOES feel good once it’s all out. BTW: read Part I of Catfish and enjoyed!
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Thank you very much Susan. I love the ‘bum glue’ expression. I think we could all do with a bottle or two of that 🙂
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You are a great teacher!
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Thank you but I’m largely unqualified and uneducated. These are just my personal thoughts.
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So funny. Everything I write is either rubbish or gold depending on my mood. Both in the same day really. And vomiting? I have many very undignified stories from my youth. 😳. Food for thought or barf for toilet tho: I’ve read that agents do not want to read about protagonists bodily functions in he first paragraph/ page. Many feel it is either amateurish or just bad taste. My first page used to include blood, for no real reason other than being flashy. That got cut.
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Well there goes my vomiting, tearful, blood spattered prologue then 😂
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Also. Prologues… 😬 they need to be done well to work. And of course there are exceptions to every rule. See what the betas say. Both could be great.
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Yes I know they can be tricky. I have one but am a bit worried people will hate it as it’s completely out of context to what follows. But I believe it is necessary.
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Like I said, there are always exceptions. Writing is so subjective. I personally don’t mind prologues at all. It’s just what I’ve heard from others shopping their books. Do those beta reads and see what happens. And eventually… You may have to “kill your darlings”. Or maybe not. I’ll hope for the later 😀
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Thank you. I’m flying through the latest edit and have forwarded the first 15 chapters through to the beta readers. I have asked for feedback by 03 September. Yikes 😳
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Awesome! Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
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It’s hard for me when I write rubbish. I know it’s part of the process (see Ann lammott’s Shitty First Drafts), but I’m an impatient person. Sometimes I feel like it’s meaningless to continue if no one will read it and I cannot connect to others via my work. I get very up in my head and bogged down with doubt. I am just getting back into the writing process and it has been a struggle.
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I agree. It is a very frustrating and time consuming process. But I don’t know of anyone who shows up and writes brilliantly every time they open their laptop. Don’t give up hope. Keep writing 🙂
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Thank you
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Great post! I’m kind of a perfectionist so when trying to write a novel I easily get caught up in the writing more than the story per se. Right now I’m working on a Star Trek novel, on page 21 and I’ve read over my work around 21 times.
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Thank you. You’ve got to let it go lol. I want to see Page 22 😊
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Rubbish? I don’t really know. Sometimes I feel as though I can’t string two sentences together… A lot of the time I spend in reading back over old scripts – and I’m talking years, nay decades here – is a quest to find bits I can use. My worst drinking episode? In my callow youth I went to a cellar party at the Gaumont cinema in Taunton. I went by motor scooter. I remember nothing of the evening, just waking up in the home of a total stranger half a mile from the venue. When I returned to pick up my scooter, I found it parked neatly on somebody’s front path fifty yards away. I don’t know how it got there, although friends subsequently told me I left the party announcing I was going to ride home.
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That’s quite the tale. It sounds as if copious amounts of cider may have been involved lol
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I enjoyed your blog, and your web site. Rubbish does matter! I have often thought the same thing. I also liked how you asked questions at the end. I am new to blogging, and have decided for more engagement, asking some questions might be the way to go. Thanks again!
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You’re welcome Rob and thank you. I always put questions at the end of my posts to encourage discussion.
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