Who Would Win A Fight Between Donald Trump’s Hair And Tom Selleck’s Moustache?

Living in Northern Ireland, a country obsessed with politicians who are utterly incapable of agreeing about anything, you would think an educated, intelligent young man about town like myself would have more than a passing knowledge of the subject. Well, yah boo sucks to you, for I have very little interest in our learned leaders. As they are, by and large, buffoons of the highest order.

I don’t understand Brexit other than it appears to preoccupy the majority of the United Kingdom. Hard borders? Me no understand. Nor do I care to. No, whenever the news is on, I tend to zone out and focus on matters utterly irrelevant to what is actually being said. This happened earlier today when I watched an interview of Donald Trump on the White House lawn. He was about to get into a helicopter.

Firstly the background noise suggested that he was standing quite close to the helicopter for he could barely be heard about the sound of its rotor blades. He was shouting, something else which he tends to do a lot. I couldn’t tell you what he was shouting about, but I’m sure it was very important and probably involved the Russians or the Saudi Arabians. Possibly both.

No, there was only one question burning a hole within me. Why doesn’t somebody tell the helicopter pilot to turn the engine off.? That way, there would be no need for POTUS to bellow like an angry hippopotamus and become so red faced I feared he was about to suffer an embolism. You would think he could hold fire a few minutes, to allow the most powerful man in the free world to speak in more measured tones.

Equally disturbing was Mr. President’s hair which has always fascinated me. It has a strangely mesmeric quality. Whenever it appears on my television screen, I am hopelessly glued to it which is all the more ironic given it’s attachment to Donald’s skull. Yet, in the face of high powered chopper blades, it didn’t budge an inch. Not an inch, I tells ya!

Is there where the NASA budget is currently being siphoned off? To fund top secret government research into industrial strength hair products. I suspect this may lie at the heart of improved US-North Korean relations of late. Kim Jong-Un anyone? Never a hair out of place. I’m right you know, I know I am. Putin has no need for such products. Never mind the hole in the ozone layer, if it even exists that is. More hairspray please.

The only man who even comes close to matching Trump with regards follicular matters is Tom Selleck. He of Magnum P.I., Friends and most recently, Blue Bloods. Quite frankly, the man has most magnificent moustache I have ever set eyes upon. His face furniture is unparalleled. I’m convinced he got the Magnum gig, due to similar helicopter/hair related issues as referred to above.

Which brings me to the heart of this post. Never mind international trade treaties or gun law restrictions? The real debate is – If Selleck and Trump were to go toe to toe in a wind tunnel then who would prevail? The immovable barnet or the unstoppable lip caterpillar? I ask that you give this matter your urgent consideration and comment below. The world thanks you.

43 thoughts on “Who Would Win A Fight Between Donald Trump’s Hair And Tom Selleck’s Moustache?

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  1. What has always bothered me about Donald Trump’s hair is the fact that he can afford to go to the best in hair styling, yet this is what he/they come up with? They think that looks good? I will never understand that, but, in the end, it’s his hair, not mine. He can do what he wants and it’s none of my business. Tom, on the other hand, needed, and still needs, no fixing. =)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Tom Selleck hands down!!

    I’m sure security reasons are why helicopter is running, and reporters are hurling questions and trump loves the he attention. So…. maybe his hair is glued in place. I’ve heard it is natural (he doesn’t wear a head piece).
    😂😂

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  3. Every solo mustache other than toms is unacceptable in my book. And in that epic battle? Toms trim clippings in the basin of his bathroom sink would make that fluffy cheez-whiz mop recoil in cowardice. Tom for the win!

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  4. I gotta go hair. That indestructible red muskrat would smother Sellecks whole face then have the Russians launch nuclear warheads into it. Quigley Down Under doesn’t stand a chance against the red menace.

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  5. Selleck’s mustache by a er landslide. BTW Donald seems to be living by one of my mottoes. Don’t upset the pilot. It’s a bit like questioning the doctor right before your surgery.

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  6. And this is one reason I look for your post when I log on to WordPress….you really are delightful and at the end of a long, hard day this amused me probably more than it should have….yeah, my husband could not understand why I was rolling on the floor crying with laughter….thank you, my friend, thank you

    Like

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