Don’t Tell My Wife I’ve Written This 2

Pssssssst….

Yeah. You. Over here. But quietly. And quickly. Here’s the deal. Adam’s rugby season is over for another year. It’s been seven months of highs and lows which I’ve experienced from the touchline, in all weathers. Sun, rain, wind and lots of mud. I’ve cheered his every run and tackle, paid him £5 every time he’s scored, and generally annoyed opposing teams with My noisy cheerleading antics.

But now it’s over. He’s entering exam season. Important exams. I’ve devised a study timetable and he’s chained to his desk for the next three months, with not a rugby ball in sight. Pre-season doesn’t start until August again. That’s five months away, people. FIVE MONTHS! How on earth am I going to survive until then? Which is why I’m writing this. I’m in urgent need of advice and support.

Those of you thinking I’m reliving my youth vicariously through my sixteen year old son are of course well wide of the mark. I mean, how ridiculous. Yes, I was an incredibly average schools rugby player who never made the first team, but that’s not the point. At all. I want the best for my son, as I do the girls. The fact he’s incredibly good at my favourite sport and a rising star is a mere side issue.

Which brings me to the fifth member of the Black clan. My wonderful wife, Fionnuala. Who has patiently endured my rants about team selection and training tactics throughout the winter. To the point she has suggested I take over the team, were it not for my complete lack of experience and qualifications to do so. There’s also the small matter that Adam would be mortified and probably never speak to me again.

Fionnuala no doubt has a list of chores as long as my arm to occupy me over the coming months. Chores that have been screaming out for completion, yet been blindly ignored as I’ve researched upcoming teams via snooping on their Facebook pages and Twitter feeds. Obsessive? Moi? How very dare you! I’m just very hands on when it comes to rugby. And decidedly hands off at home improvement.

I wanted to share this with you all in confidence as I know Fionnuala never reads this blog and none of you would ever rat on me. I trust you implicitly. But if you do happen to bump into her, then this conversation never happened, right? I’m sure you can all relate to, and empathise, with my predicament. Especially all you female readers with equally work shy, sports mad spouses.

Which is where I need your help. There are approximately 20 empty Saturday mornings until pre season starts up again. How do you suggest I occupy them. Should I find a new hobby perhaps? Hang gliding? Origami? How about ultra marathons. Isn’t a mere 26.2 miles a bit of a wimp out these days? I’d be interested to hear your comments on my dilemma. I’m not one to complain much but….

Let me know your suggestions?

And remember, don’t tell Fionnuala!

53 thoughts on “Don’t Tell My Wife I’ve Written This 2

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  1. This would be one of those moments, when your wife actually comes on and says, “gotcha ya!” I’m not good at sneaking around, because I find I get caught easily. It’s hard for me to lie. 😆 anyway, I’d say pick up a hobby. Do something outdoors with your children. Join a club. Endless possibilities. I, myself, want to find a yoga studio to attend everyday. I’m starting to enjoy it. You have a great family, very entertaining. How is Fionnuala’s business doing?

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  2. Haha nice try and I read all your blogs apart from the running ones! I was just looking up at the beautiful blue sky this morning that beautiful cloudless blue sky and was thinking we could dig the power hose out if the garage and get outside cleaned and do some weeding and that’s just for today who knows what tomorrow will bring you might not even have time to Blog tomorrow 😂

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  3. Your secret is safe with me Steven, thanks for trusting me! I passed my less-than athletic genes on to both our kids, so I cannot relate directly to what you are going through. Having said that, I do understand clearly the part you mentioned about training techniques and player selection. Let me explain:
    Though I was always the last chosen for pick-up baseball games, I have had a love affair with this great game all my life. The team I support, the San Francisco Giants, was the one my Dad loved and I have passed this on the my oldest boy. I scour the internet (these days) for all the information I can glean. I agonize over player selection and injuries and potential trades. My wife patiently puts up with my tirades and questions, God bless her! Yet for all the time I put in on my Giants, they have never once called me to ask my opinion about what they should do. Though I know I could help them, I have come to realize that this love affair is heavily skewed in one direction.
    To your question: What have I done about it? I have re-discovered a table-top baseball game called Strat-O-Matic that I played for countless hours as a kid. Thankfully these days it is available for my laptop. This wonderful game gives me the power of being the general manager of not only the Giants, but of all the teams! I chose who plays. And through the wonder of technology I can re-play past seasons, a perfect game for a baseball nerd like me. Best of all, I can complete a game in 20 minutes, not the 3 plus hours it takes in real life, so I can still get to the honey-do list Betsy has waiting for me!
    Blessings on your weekend,
    Chuck

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  4. Well, my first piece of advice is Do Your Chores!!! You must promise or I won’t give you my next piece of advice. 😆. Clearly Adam could be college scholarship material so you must train in the off season. Here in the US we call it “Club” ball. It’s basically year round. If you don’t have Club Rugby you could start on off season training group for the team and keep them running and playing and keeping fit until August. But after Exams of course. I am a Mama after all. Or you can work on your next book. Because I’m a writer after all. 🙄

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      1. I sympathize. Josh and I have a difficult time connecting that way, with his 24-hour shifts, my homeschooling, etc. We find time for our kids separately but have little time as a family and even less as a couple. We do snatch an our or so on the occasional Saturday morning to go out for coffee. That helps, but we need more time together than that. It’s tough on our relationship.

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  5. I would say start by resting and relaxing first then maybe adding in a little running and some writing. If you like estate sales those are a lot of fun and a great way to enjoy yourself but don’t get hooked. Good luck.

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  6. I have absolutely NO suggestions – have you stopped reading? Aw, well, I did want to let you know how this tickled my funny bone – and believe me my funny bone has been in dire need of a good tickling of late….sorry I can’t help you out. But here’s a piece of good advice: you will earn many, many brownie points if you use some of that time to do a few things around the house….think how your standing will improve in your wife’s eyes…. think how it may pay off in the long run….you stopped reading didn’t you? Sorry, Fionnuala, I tried.

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  7. I think you should take up the hobby of rooting for American baseball. And while you’re at it, you should choose the Kansas City Royals as your preferred team. They will provide you with an absolute roller-coaster of emotion, all in the course of one nine-inning game.

    You’re welcome!

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