Eyebrows were raised across the nation last week when Good Morning Britain, the U.K.’s leading breakfast show, interviewed an American lady who had decided to live her life as an elf. Complete with prosthetic ears, flowing dresses and ethereal eyed elegance. A proper elf, a la J.R.R. Tolkien as opposed to Will Ferrell prancing around in a pair of green tights and a pointy hat.
The woman….elf…..person informed the bemused interviewers that she was an ‘otherkin.’ She believed she was the spirit of an elf living in a human’s body. She considered herself ‘transpecies,’ identifying herself with elven folk as opposed to the rest of us. And apparently they are many. People who think they are tigers, mermaids and er……unicorns? The list is apparently endless.
Now I’m all for diversity and I’m not averse to living next door to Liv Tyler or Evangeline Lily. Or even Orlando Bloom, especially if Katy Perry moves in. But isn’t this lady going to get a bit of a shock when the first wrinkles appear and she realises she’s isn’t going to live until she’s 900 and sail off to mythical lands to while away her days playing the harp and table tennis with Elijah Wood.
This got me thinking, however. Imagine if we could down tools and drop out of the human race? It’s not as if the species has covered itself in glory so far in its evolutionary journey. Wars, famines and generally making a bit of mess of the planet. You wouldn’t get any of that if the elves were in charge. Imagine a North Korea populated by elves. World peace sorted immediately.
Or if Elrond was POTUS. There would be no inflammatory rhetoric about walls and fake news, although I fear dodgy hairstyles would still be on the agenda. Justice would be dispensed fairly and all would be well with the world. Or, at least until the dwarves invaded from Canada or a psychotic dragon decided to lay waste to Capitol Hill over a congressional misunderstanding.
So today’s question is this? If you could hand in your human card and live the rest of your days as another species, what would you choose? Does a serene elven existence tick all the boxes or would you prefer to live in a hole, eat breakfast seven times a day and be a hobbit? How about an orc? You could be in a bad mood all the time and have a perfectly plausible explanation. I’m an orc! What else do you expect?
What mythical being would you like to live your life as?
I think I’d like to be a Centaur, or a Satyr. Something half and half, for maximum wig out effect!
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That would be quite a sight, for sure 😂
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This is the perfect thing to think about when you can’t sleep. Shapeshifter. Hands down.
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I hope you finally got to sleep 😉
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Well written – gave me a good laugh. I think I would choose something in the dragon line!
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A popular choice 😂
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I’d be a unicorn!
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What an interesting choice 👍🏻
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The dwarves are pretty cool 😎
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You’re too tall though 😂
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Wanna bet?
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While I’m probably an elf at heart, but I’d love to be a dragon. I’d be able to fly and breathe fire. Life would be awesome.
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And hoard ALL the gold 😊
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😀
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Off the top of my head, maybe one of those giant eagles in TLOTR. On less adventurous days, I’d be a hobbit, forced into adventuring, riddling,
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That’s an interesting choice although I think you would make a fine elf 🧝♀️
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I would be Robin Hood. Living in the woods with a band of ‘merry’ men and antagonizing the hell out of snooty, rich people.😎
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Could you pull off the tights though? 😂
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I dunno, got to maintain the image. Maybe camouflage would work. How about camouflage tights?
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Ha. I’ll stick with mythical homeo sapiens, thx!
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Probably a wise choice
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I just finished reading the Tearling series by Erika Johansen. It’s set in the not so distant future and deals with the struggle to create and preserve a utopian and socialist society. Your comment about the elves ruling North Korea got me thinking about those books. In the books, no matter what happened, utopia could not be achieved. Even in LOTR, the elves fought wars…wouldn’t wars be nonexistent in a utopian society?
Anyway…I’m not sure what I’d like to be. I’m pretty sure living 900 years has its perks, but I’m thinking the 85 I might get will be pretty dang good 🙂
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I’d still prefer elves to North Korea’s current ruler.
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Agreed. Elves would probably do a better job with running the USA as well.
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Great post, and I’d be a cat 🐾💜🐾
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Meooooowwww!
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Tauriel is my absolute goal so I would be her any day of the week 😍
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I can’t quite imagine you with pointy ears though. Although I’m sure there’s an app 😂
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😂 I’m sure there is! I would very much like to disappear to the Shire and live in a hobbit hole some days too 😄
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You’re far too healthy to be a hobbit 😂
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😂 I could easily sit in a chair and read books for a long time now I’ve completed the plan though!
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I’d totally be a goddess. I’m thinking Athena or Aphrodite. I have big plans for smiting, as well.
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Great choice. I agree. You can’t beat a good smite.
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Hobbits have it made. Elevensies, afternoon tea. Solitude. Done. It’s the hobbits life for me.
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Even the hairy feet??
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Why not. Huge feet anyway. Toasty too.
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What’s an orc?
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Definitely a mermaid 🧜♀️
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I think you would make a fine mermaid 🧜♀️
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I’d probably be a unicorn. Mysterious, can fly, and poop glitter and ice cream. Im sold!
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Agreed. Unicorns tick a lot of boxes 😂
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I think I would like to be a wise good wizard.. put somethings in place with the good use of magic.. and of course, provide sound counsel to the rulers of the land.. I love the wizard’s attire.
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Yes. You can’t beat a waist long beard and pointy hat 😂
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Leprechaun I think, as they have crocks of glod and magical powers I think, P.S. Love your humor
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Thank you very much. Yes, plus they love the colour green 😊
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