I’m No Hugh Jackman, But….

I write from the heart, warts and all. You get exactly what it says on the tin. A lot of people seem to like this style, others less so. I cannot pretend to be happy when I am not. This is a modern day skill I have never quite been able to get my head around. I don’t say ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I’m loving life’ when I’m clearly not. I have my ups, my downs, my peaks and troughs. I can be happy Stephen, sad Stephen, somewhere in between Stephen.

I’ve written largely positive material these last two years on the blog. It’s been a slog at times, but I’ve largely posted on a daily basis, ably supported by Fionnuala when I have needed a break or been too busy to write. Rebecca has also popped up with the occasional special guest appearance. We have always viewed Fractured Faith Blog as a platform to show others there is hope, even when all seems hopeless.

In order to adequately explain this, however, I’ve had to, on occasion, revisit the darker times. I’ve had to dip my toe back into the murky waters of despair and dismay. This has been a necessary evil. In order to represent the impact and brightness of the light, you must also depict the soul wrenching darkness from which it emerged. It is the backdrop to who we were and helps educate the reader as to how far we have come.

I call it the Abyss. There are several chapters in the book, where Meredith Starc finds herself cocooned within it, utterly disoriented and devoid of hope. I have also written about it on the blog, the darkest of places, where I once dwelt. A modern day Gollum, scurrying around in the gloom, wallowing in self pity and regret. I hated that world, I hated that life, but most of all I hated myself. I so wanted to be Sméagol again.

Life is so much better now, which I hope is reflected in the content of this blog. The good days vastly outnumber the not so good ones. This allows me to write with a freedom I once knew nothing about. I no longer have to fake it, like so many do both online and in the real world. I am finally comfortable in my own skin, allowing me to discard the mask and throw it aside. I am me and, most days, I can look myself in the mirror and accept that.

This blogger ain’t for changin’. There will, no doubt, be gloomy times ahead, such is the nature of this unpredictable beast we call life. I will continue to mix it up on here, as required. I’m hoping it’s a mostly smooth ride for you lot, but I’m guaranteeing nothing. There will be rough, there will be smooth, there will be the long, largely boring bits in between where nothing much happens.

A consistent message on this blog is to be yourself. It’s okay to feel miserable and disconsolate at times, if that is what your external circumstances are dictating at that particular moment in your life. You don’t have to put on a performance. I know this better than anyone. I’m no showman, Hugh Jackman can rest easy on that front. I am who I am, and so should you. This is me.

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

45 thoughts on “I’m No Hugh Jackman, But….

  1. ❤️ I have adopted this attitude myself in the last few years. My soon to be ex-husband and expected the kids and I to carry on playing “happy family”. I don’t do that anymore..I’m not living a lie anymore. Thank-you! This was a great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You need to recall the bad times to appreciate the good, but also to recognise the destination when you’re heading back there (and, possibly, the way out. But also, practice in looking back helps if you get lost in the dark place again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We love you Stephen. Good times or bad. Beautifully written blog post. Full of heart. Thank you for staying authentic for us. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is one of the reasons why I am a daily reader. And no, I will not always comment. But I will keep coming back for more. Keep it up Stephen. There is so much victory and positivity in your life right now. Walk in it!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post. I enjoy reading blogs where people are authentic and tell stories good and bad. When I read about the struggles of others, it helps me realize I am not alone. We all have good and bad days, and that is ok!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Excellent message, and REAL. It’s the same with the mistakes and bad choices we make in life; it’s okay to talk about them because when we combine this with our celebrations and strengths, people can see that we are authentic and not so different than, they. Plus, I think it’s inspiring to see someone who has felt terribly defeated rise back up and shine, as opposed to those who put on the air of “everything is always flowers and rainbows”.

    Thank you for sharing! It is an inspiration 🌈

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Keep doing what you do. I am sure that one of the main reasons you have amassed 10,000 followers (to date) is because people really like the bare-knuckled honesty of your approach. I know I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’d like to be Sméagol again; a little Gollum goes a long way too far. God bless and thanks for your straightforward approach.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lord of the Rings – oh yes! I don’t really have a “precious” object of any kind. I don’t want one either – especially not if it can affect my being to the degree that I’d become like Gollum. I am far from perfect and that’s okay – we are all human beings doing the best we can. I loved this, by the way and it’s why I look for your posts – you keep it real and that’s awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A common thread I notice among popular bloggers like yourself and bloggers who have a perhaps more moderate but solid readership is the blogger’s incorporation of honesty and their personality into their posts!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Awesome!! Life becomes more meaningful when we realize that even the bad times have a purpose in our life, and so many lessons we can use to get back on track. Great post!


  12. OMG I LOVE THAT MOVIE SO MUCH!!! And trust me you are so much more suave then Hugh Jackman (athough I still LOVE Wolverine!!). This Is Me is one of those songs I play when I’m really down that ALWAYS picks me up.


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