Where Are You On The ‘Me Me Me’ Tree?

We are all a little self obsessed. It’s human nature, that we focus on our own interests. Animal instinct, if you like. The trick is to be aware of this character defect and work against the grain, to put the needs of others before our own. Love others. You get my drift. It’s not easy though and often the old habits slip back, leaving us trampling over all and sundry in our desire to clamber to the top of the tree. The ‘me me me’ tree.

Life seems grand at the top of the ‘me me me’ tree. We can scan the world around us, pat ourselves on the back and look down disdainfully at those beneath us, who are scrambling for purchase on the slippery trunk and branches beneath. They haven’t quite made it to the top, which makes the fact we have all the more satisfying. It’s easy to forget about these folk who, not so long ago, meant the world to us.

We become immune to their pain, we don blinkers and ear protectors to protect us from their suffering. It’s all so unnecessary and, well, frankly a tad desperate. You don’t need to be sullied with their grief and anguish. It takes the sheen off your own glorious rise to the top. You tend to forget that if it wasn’t for some of those far below, you wouldn’t be lording it up at the top of the pile. Memory can be so selective at times.

Having a conscience is a double edged sword. Wouldn’t it be great if we could plough ahead without that little voice in our head popping up and whispering in our ear; correcting us, chastising is, reminding us of the difference between right and wrong. It can be a real party pooper, a wet blanket of immense proportions. The adult in the room, tidying up behind us and suggesting we turn the music down a little.

Conscience acts as a radar as well. For at the fringes of our senses, we will detect the faintest beep. A voice, a cry of desperation. We look down and far, far below we see someone clinging to a lower branch. We recognise them immediately and our heart aches. For it is a loved one, a person dear to us and who, not so long ago, was an integral part of our life. They haven’t fared so well on the ‘me me me’ tree and have been left far behind in the climb to the top.

They catch our eye, they tug at our heartstrings and, suddenly, it’s too late. We acknowledge that they are part of the reason we are where we are. Have we trampled over them in our victorious ascent? It’s hard to remember, it was all so rushed and confusing. Did we? Possibly? But it’s too late now as the gap between us seems too far to be bridged. We are filled with guilt and regret.

The good news is that it’s not too late. You might be reading this, thinking it doesn’t apply to you. Life is going pretty well right now and you’ve nothing to feel bad about. But look around and think hard. Listen. Do you hear that faint, almost indiscernible beep in the far distance? Listen. There it is again. It’s that relative, friend or colleague who you haven’t heard from in a while.

They need you. Now. Today. Reach out. Make that call, send that message, ask how they are doing. Reach down from where you are perched and haul them up beside you. All they need is that one helping hand, to know they are still cherished and not forgotten about. To show them that you are still there for them, that you still care and will never leave their side again. The ‘me me me’ tree can never destroy that bond.

Where are you on the ‘me me me’ tree?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

27 thoughts on “Where Are You On The ‘Me Me Me’ Tree?

  1. Lovely post. And very true. It might be just the push somebody needs and when they read it, they’ll act. That’s certainly the case for me. Thank you. Xx


  2. I love when words are given to coach out the best of us that is in us. It is lovely indeed to see others asking our souls to consider those they may have forgotten in all the time they spent defending themselves in the quest for success.

    It isn’t lost on me the capitalistic society we live in, one in which the very nature of takes advantage of the weak to bring profit to the “successful” (quotations because when I read success I usually see a person who has made life all about themselves and forgotten everyone that didn’t amount to anything in line with the razor sharp focus needed to get ahead. I don’t see a positive word when I see success.)

    But the direction you’ve given people calls out the very choice that was made to put the self first and consider all those the self stepped over in a blind dash for better days. Now that better days have come the questions remains, are you happy with the you it took to get you here? Because if for even a moment you doubt the path you took, was it worth it? Are you the person you wanted to be now that you have everything you thought you needed?

    Or are you sad that all the people you forgot about aren’t there with you to celebrate your “success”?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After I posted this comment, I got myself a cup of coffee. And did some reflecting with my eyes closed in my comfy chair. And I jumped up when I got back to how I ended this comment. I was suddenly fearful that my comment could be perceived as an attack on you. Which I was not at all meaning it to be. The comment comes as an inspired thought that your post helped manifest, not as an interrogation of your self or the success you have found.

      I just wanted to make that clear. I don’t want to risk offending you in the slightest.

      I hope you are having a blessed morning full of love, laughs, and lively life.


        1. I’m so thankful for that. When I am manic I always feel divinely inspired with the words I wish to share. But that divine inspiration comes at the cost of a social filter. I don’t always know when I am overstepping bounds and saying things that might hurt or offend.

          So it is a constant source of fear that when I share I will have hurt someone in some way. Something I deeply wish never to do. I have a very dark side of myself that can hurt people deeply with my words and I ever seek to shelter people from the sharpness of my words. When I am manic I am sharper and less considerate as a whole, a much tougher pill to swallow.

          I hope as I swing through my highs and lows you see the person shining through the middle that just seeks to help and harmonize with those around me. You’re one that I am choosing to regularly interact with.

          So I guess this part of my words comes as a gentle warning that I’m not always aware of when my words are socially offensive, it’s kind of a gentle retardation of my mind. So what manifests are true words that are truly reflective of where my mind is at in the moment and not overshadowed by what society would think of those words, apart from the insane fear I have of offending.

          I hope that is okay because I really enjoy our back and forths and feel happy when you randomly give a like to something I’ve written.

          Much love and luck and well wishes for a happy and harmonious day.

          Liked by 1 person

    2. This isn’t just capitalism, it’s human nature. In the Bible it’s called “sin nature,” and it’s why we need a Savior. Left on our own, we will always gravitate toward selfishness. We can blame our parents, blame society, or, like Adam, blame God and “the woman You gave me!” But if we’re smart we’ll admit it’s all us, and ask Him to help us change. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go help an old friend. 😏

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I like this so much. You are absolutely right that we all need help to change. First comes the awareness that we ourselves are the problem and that we ourselves are the only ones to blame for the state of the personhood we have come into.

        Second comes the putting down of the ego and the asking of help to become something more, something better. And that’s where the great HE is there to help one and all alike. Always waiting, always ready to help us make that change the moment we accept change is needed. It’s a miraculous event the moment you let HIM change you forever.

        And that Savior you speak of, I believe in Him with all of my being. He is coming if He isn’t already here blowing my mind with truths that I can’t find words to express and graciousness of being that humbles my spirit to witness.

        I hope you enjoy catching up with that old friend. Much love and luck and life on a blessed journey to happiness.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. I like your thought of helping financially. That is a burden that so many are bearing. While you have taken the time to consider an old friend who has slipped from your timeline, perhaps you might have the time and resources available to consider another stranger on GoFundMe in need of help.

            I don’t have a particular person I’m thinking of but in the vein of thinking of people, perhaps you could find someone who’s story interests you who isn’t receiving much love from the GoFundMe site and could really use a passerby to look their way.

            Your old friend and their need took you to the GoFundMe site, perhaps you can let the power of true generosity and consideration of spirit and allow it to move you to help another in kind who might not have an old friend thinking of them and being moved to help. You could be that old anonymous friend. Or even better, become a new friend that makes a difference to someone in need.

            Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so common. We are all guilty of this. I try to pay other people’s generosity forwards, but sometimes I overlook it. I do try and keep in touch with people but sometimes I look back, especially over my social media and realise I have lost contact with people, I never thought I would. Now periodically, I scan my friends’ list and check in with those people I haven’t connected with for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post! ( I love the picture!) Just wanted to let you know that this morning God nudged me to do something for someone I haven’t seen in years, something I have been procrastinating about. Today is the day. ☺


  5. Fabulous blog. Much needed reminder in today’s society. Thanks for the push! I like to think of those little voices as nudges from the Holy Spirit. I’m trying to listen more carefully to her voice of wisdom, her gentle taps on my shoulder, and it feels so very nice when I respond!


  6. And now after reading this, I need to call my friend, who called me last night, but I was too tired to talk, but she needs me she’s alone. I will call her today. XXX


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