Today I die….
Well, possibly. I am prone to occasional exaggeration and have always been a ‘glass half empty’ kind of guy but the omens are not good. Hannah is heading up to the North Coast later today for an activity weekend so Fionnuala breezily announced she had booked a session for Adam and Rebecca at ‘Lets Go Hydro,’ an aqua park situated at a reservoir on the outskirts of Belfast. With an adult! Me!! Yes, me!!!
I have been researching this aqua park. It’s website casually states that all customers must be ‘comfortable’ in the water and able to swim. Yes, I can swim. If a demented 5 metre doggy paddle counts as swimming. And comfortable in the water? For the first time in living memory I’ll be donning a wetsuit, showing off my every curve. Euurgggh! I’m even going to have to cut my toenails for this one. You heard it here first, WordPress.
Then there’s my short sightedness. With my glasses secured away in the locker room, I’ll be launched into an outdoor reservoir and expected to navigate all manner of inflatable obstacles. In a wetsuit….half blind. Thankfully, buoyancy devices are provided. I’ll need about seven. And by ‘buoyancy devices’ what do they mean? A life jacket? I’d prefer a sturdy boat, preferably with an outboard engine and dry cabin.
It appears the park was designed by Torquemada ably assisted by the Marquis de Sade. There are slides, giant walls to clamber over and….get this….a ‘hydro trampoline.’ By the end of the day I could have made history. The first Irishman in orbit wearing a wetsuit. There are also wiggle discs. I have no idea what a wiggle disc is but fear, if I wiggle too much, then I may slip a disc….in my back! Paramedics on standby, please.
Thankfully the sessions are only 50 minutes long but this could well be the longest 50 minutes of my life. My sole strategy is to find the sturdiest looking obstacle, clamber onto it, and perch precariously for as much of the session as I can manage. Although I fear my wicked son and daughter may have something to say about that. Half the fun is watching their father drown before their very eyes.
There will be absolutely NO photographs of this event, so I’m afraid you will have to use your fertile imaginations. If you don’t hear from me by Monday then I suggest you send Fionnuala an e-mail enquiring as to the funeral arrangements. It’s been nice knowing you and I’ll see you all on the other side. I hope I’m going to Heaven, as I fear Hell might be an eternity of teetering on a wiggle disc….in a wetsuit.
Ha ha😀😀have fun..
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I’ll try 😮
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At least you’ll have a good story in the afterlife, when everyone’s recounting how he died.
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Yes. What a laugh we will all have.
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Having been watching “The Good Place” I hope when I go it isn’t on being an arse to someone and copping a load of instant karma, but if it is, I hope it’s hilarious.
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I feel tired just looking at the picture. All I think about with those aquaparks is how knackering they look, hope you survived!
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Only time will tell 😬
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If you’re gonna cut the toenails you may as well spring for a full on pedicure. 😂 Have fun!!
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Haha have fun!
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Thank you 😊
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Oh my god that is bloody hilarious. You’re gonna love it and probably say you want to go again like the baby dino https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2nPJJW_jJ0
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Thank you 😂
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Have fun. Something my mind would love, my body, not so much.
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Thank you 😊
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Hahaha too funny! That looks like a awesome water obstacle course!
Good luck out there I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun!
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Thank you 😊
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Ha ha, hilarious blog. Have a great time!
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Thank you 😊
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You are going to have a blast. Although you must know that someone will be paid to ensure that there is a picture of you floating around in a wet suit lol Enjoy 🙂
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Thank you 😂
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I am still waiting for the pictures I know are floating out 😂😂😂😂
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Go and check out Rebecca’s last blog
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Have a good time in spite of your trepidation😁 And PLEASE post pics!
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Thank you 😊
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FYI, love the new blog look!!
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Thank you. It was All Fionnuala 🙂
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😂🤣… good luck🤣
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Thank you. How are you getting on with the book?
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I haven’t started it yet. I have an exam coming up this month and I also have a book which I need to do a review on. Once I get those off the way, I will start yours. Excited to start😊
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I love this! If i were with you the lake would flood! Bahahaha!
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😂😂😂
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That looks like torture. Good luck, my friend.
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Thank you. I’ll need it 😮
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Glug glug glug. By now your adventure is done. Going back for more?? 🤪
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No it’s not happened yet we are heading off to it shortly
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You are too funny! Enjoy yourself and the kiddies.
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That looks awesome!!!
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Thank you 😊
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You didn’t need to tell us to use our imaginations. My visually oriented mind already conjured up mental images, and they are hilarious! Rest in peace, friend. 😉
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Oh dear. I feel so sorry for you 😬
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I do believe you survived. That’s awesome. Brave man, I doubt I would even try.
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Thank you. I survived….just 😀
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Gives new meaning to “come hell or high water,” LoL
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Why do I see Rebecca’s eye gleaming with mischief? LOL
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That’s her 24/7 😊
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That looks like so much fun! I do enjoy a physical challenge…to a degree.
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Fun is possibly not the word I’d use to describe it 😂
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No photographs at all.
Famous last words.
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😂😂😂
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Very funny let us know how it goes!
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Check out my recent blog for details 👍🏻
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