Why?

I don’t really know what to say in this post so I’ll cut to the chase. Adam injured his knee in a match last weekend and underwent a MRI scan on Friday, the results of which we will receive today. We are hopeful it will be good news, but are prepared for the worst case scenario, which is he will require surgery. He’s in good spirits and no real pain, so there’s that to be grateful for. The scan cost a lot of money but had to be done as it’s the only way of finding out the nature of the injury.

It’s been a worrying and unsettling time for Fionnuala and myself as parents. Adam is a talented rugby player with a bright future in the sport. This was predicted to be a ‘breakout season’ for him so the injury could not have come at a worse time, given he’s just broken into a team who have a real chance of a trophy season. It has tested our wavering faith and left us, as ever, with more questions than answers.

To add to the fun & games, Hannah woke up this morning with a huge pressure sore on her heel. Hannah was born with spina bifida so her skin is especially prone to such breakdowns. Fionnuala has become, by sheer necessity, an expert at treating such sores. So much so, that the tissue viability nurses often compliment her on the quality of her care. My wife is a woman of many, many talents. It’s just we wish she didn’t have to exercise this one quite so often.

You might think this blog is all rainbows and unicorns, you might look at our lives and wish you were us. Just as we might look at your life and wish we were you. This post is not a cry for pity or sympathy, we don’t ask for prayers or positive thoughts. It’s just to say that we all get it tough, nobody is immune from the many downs we encounter in our time on this planet. We are grateful for what we have but why does it have to be so hard at tunes. Why?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 15 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

64 thoughts on “Why?

  1. I’m not religious so I’d not likely be very good at sending prayers anyway.😂 I am good at being human, though, and I’m totally good at noticing the bad times when they happen. So I’ll just say I’ve got all my fingers crossed for you guys, and I really hope the rainbow finds you all soon! Life can be so yuck sometimes. But your family sounds like a pretty amazing team, so at least you’ve got that to make you smile. ☺️ All the best guys. xx

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  2. Why? Is a question I ask several times a week. There is no easy answer to it, either. It gets me down, life. I have learnt – in hindsight most the time – that generally there is a bigger picture. It is all too easy to focus in on the priblem(s) at hand. Using the mind’s micro-photography.

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  3. Perhaps the answer lies in the title of your blog: Fractured Faith. We are all broken (fractured), but letting go of what we think should happen and letting the Lord mend us is the answer. Of course, the relationship that you choose with Him has to be there, and letting go of pride in order to see Him is key. Prayers for all of you. Blessings.

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  4. I hear exactly what you’re saying, life can be so incredibly tough at times and as parents we worry for our children pretty much every day. I hope Adam’s scan will mean he doesn’t need surgery and that this latest pressure sore heals well.

    I think your blog is a realistic view of your life, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but nobody’s life is. It’s about being honest and not pretending to have the perfect life and perfect family, but also about only sharing what you’re happy to share. Blogging is, as is life, about balance.

    Sending love x

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  5. I believe in an almighty God who cares for us much more than we realize. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but they do. Those things don’t make you less good or less loved. But they do have a way of shaping us and helping us to grow. I also believe there is power in prayer and have seen great things happen that cannot be explained in worldly or natural terms. I have and will pray for you and your family.

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  6. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont agonize over my children in some form. I’ve been through injuries, its the worse feeling in the world when its your child. You and your family are in my thoughts today. -heill ok sæll- (Old Norse for “be happy, be healthy)

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  7. Well I’m sending my prayers up for you and your family anyway today. But as for answers about suffering, I have absolutely none. I have gone through so much pain, and I like to look back and say there’s a reason for it all. Yet somehow I feel that I’d actually be stronger if I hadn’t gone through much of it. I’m sure this is even more difficult for your family than you are able to let on here, but don’t feel bad asking for prayer. Even if you feel there’s only a chance it helps, I’d take those odds over nothing.

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  8. I’m very sorry to hear about Adam’s injury; it’s so hard when our children are suffering. I do hope that Hannah heals quickly, because medical issues are scary.

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  9. Sending you and the kids positive healing vibes! Sometimes life serves up a shit sandwich and it just sucks. I have faith in you all as a family unit to withstand and persevere whatever life throws your way. Keep us posted on the well being of the kiddos.

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  10. I am asking the same question with what I once thought was an unfathomable heartbreak happening in my own life this very moment. Knowing that we walk this broken road in suffering together perhaps give us strength. May you find peace today – and of course swift healing for Adam and Hannah.

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  11. I have been feeling this very same way lately. Life is tough, I guess you can either focus on the positive or shuffle around feeling sorry for yourself. I try to focus on the positive. However, this has been a tough week, we will be euthanizing our dog Friday. I try to think of the positive, he will be happy in dog heaven, we will not need to worry about his aggression or continue to take the millions of steps to keep others safe when we do anything away from the house. Hope your week is full of happy surprises! 🙂

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  12. Actually, I am not sure there is an answer to the title of this blog. Sometimes bad things just happen to us in bunches for no apparent rhyme or reason. Despite your protests, I will pray because I believe in it. But I’ll also encourage you to hold tightly to one another and to find comfort in the support of your fans here in the blogosphere. We are quite fond of you lot. (Was that a good stab at an Irish phrasing?)

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  13. Sometimes when we are confident who we are, what we know and how we serve, we start feeling magical and immune and protected rather than remembering we are in our earth suits and stuff happens

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  14. When you ask Why the devil can easily whisper all the false reasons….I don’t think I have ever asked why consciously. So maybe instead of why ask what ? What do we do now what are learning from this ? Why only leaves you feeling a whole lot worse……
    Thank you for this post just made me become conscious of my thoughts

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  15. Before I read your post today, I prayed for your family, and specifically for Adam. My friend, I know you weren’t asking for prayers, but I am praying for you and your family anyhow. Hold on to your faith, however fractured.

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  16. I appreciate your honesty in your blogs. I don’t like it when fellow Christians sugar coat the difficulties of life. I hope good news comes your way soon.

    I had a friend (he’s since passed) who also has Spina bifida. He also got bed sores quite often, which I think is what you’re referring to. I hope they heal up soon.

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  17. I couldn’t help but think of a Sturgill Simpson song I heard as I was getting home. “That’s the way it goes, life ain’t fair, and the world is mean”. I haven’t met anyone who has the answer to “why” but inevitably everyone asks the question at one time or another. Please don’t think it’s whining or complaining to be honest about your struggles. I appreciate the honesty of your writing Stephen.

    I do hope and pray that all turns out well for both Adam and Hannah. My oldest played football and lost his scholarship due to a career-ending injury. Ironically, he discovered running and does quite well in his age group (thus I always enjoy keeping up with your running as well!).

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  18. Each day I do a 3 minute breathing space exercise and part of it says to accept how things are ‘because that’s how it is, right now’. That’s all well and dandy for those 3 minutes, but for the rest of the day? the week? all the time? That’s a tough one.
    So I think it’s OK to question. I’ve read The Bible a couple of times (I mean the whole book) but I struggle with The Book of Job. He doesn’t seem to question, or perhaps I just missed that part. Conversely I explore the idea of faith in my poem No ifs, ands, or buts, so acceptance is still open to interpretation.
    Thank you for sharing your very personal conversation.

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  19. Having had my share of knee injuries, I feel for Adam. But if it’s not paining him badly, there may be little damage – something that a soft brace would help with? KT tape? I feel he’s talented in many areas.
    Poor Hannah! I can’t imagine that feels nice, and poor Fionnuala likely doesn’t find it a treat either. But it is lovely to be thought nicely of by the professionals who know what they’re seeing. It’s not a lot of comfort, but it’s some.
    As to “Why?” I suspect the answer is that chestnut – “to appreciate the good”.

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