I’m Not An Angry Person But….

I woke up at 4:30 am and that’s been that, sleep wise. Since then I’ve been frenetically tapping away, putting the finishing touches to Chapter 5 of my serialised short story, ‘Bomb Girl,’ which I hope to post later today. I hope you all enjoy it. There’s been a bit of a gap between Chapters 4 and 5 but I’m keen to progress it to conclusion, now that the creative juices are flowing again and I’ve got the bit between my teeth.

I posted a recap yesterday as to the story so far and received some fantastic feedback. Thank you to those who took the time to read the early chapters and comment, it was much appreciated, and has encouraged me to press ahead with Chapter 5. It’s been a tough week for our family so being able to dive into the Kirkwood Scott universe and forget for a while has been a welcome distraction. I hope there are better times ahead with more positive news around the corner.

I’ve experienced a flurry of emotions this week. Shock, sadness, worry but most of all anger. This is an alien one for me as I’m not, by nature, an angry person. It’s not the norm for me and I’ve found it an awkward fit. I mean, what do you do with anger? I’m not a shouty, punchy person so what do I do with it? It just sits in the pit of my stomach, growing in size and intensity. How do I quell it, make it go away and allow myself to move on?

There’s nobody to shout at, no wall to punch. I just type, trying to funnel my negative emotions into something else, something positive and creative. I look at those around me, those directly affected by the circumstances that have fuelled my anger and I’m ashamed. The grace and acceptance they display humbles and embarrasses me. I’m meant to be the grown up, the adult who has all the answers. Yet….

I hope it passes. I hope there comes a day soon where I don’t wake up feeling angry. As I said, it’s not me. Until then I get up and I go on, we go on as a family. I don’t have the luxury of wallowing in self pity for I have a wife and kids who need me as much as I need them. They are my everything, my raison d’etre. I need to rise above the casually inflicted pain, the indifferent arrogance, the silence and lack of explanations.

For I am better that.

How do you deal with anger?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 15 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

52 thoughts on “I’m Not An Angry Person But….

  1. Like yourself I’m not generally an angry person but at times when I have been angry recently I’ve more or less prayed it out. Usually that means shouting at God about it (I’ve discovered He’s okay with that). Sometimes I do that on paper (since I don’t want to shout out loud about what is making me angry). Usually I start off ‘shouting’ and end up crying it out. That’s me though. I cry a lot.

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  2. Unlike yourself, I’m hot tempered. Fortunately, I try talking about my feelings first. If the other party with whom I’m hurt blows me off? Then I yell, cry, then it’s over very quickly. I spend more time feeling sad then mad.

    What do I do to deal with anger? I drove fast down the highway often breaking the speed limit blaring my favorite music.

    Sorry you are struggling with all this. Hope you feel better soon 🤗

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  3. Generally anger fades at time passes, but maybe writing about it (or simply telling someone else) might accelerate the process? They say a problem shared is a problem halved, so just think what might happen if you share it with over 10,000 people? Anyway, I hope it goes away soon as it’s not a great emotion to live with.
    Or, it just occurred to me, you could, as someone else suggested, listen to some ‘nice’ music – like this one perhaps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU 😁

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  4. I usually don’t get angry easily, but when I do, I deal with it in a funny way.. I just simply cry it out believing that my tears will take my anger away, although am not too sure if this is a good way.

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  5. Hi.
    Good Wishes too. To Alls
    so There. Here

    in Our World. Legends
    Tell i, Shiro Draws a Pic then.

    Pins its to Punching Bag
    and so forth. Forthrightly
    Take Care.
    Till Next… Shiro

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  6. Emotions are strange bedfellows. We need them, and quite often they serve us well. However, when those that are less appropriate, unacceptable or maybe unfamiliar take up residence, our actions can appear quite out of character. Recognizing the emotion and thoughtfully considering our response may be the best way of dealing with it. Physical pain often points to a body part that needs rest or special attention to heal. As you pointed out, just because you feel anger doesn’t make you an angry person. I like to think that the negative helps me appreciate the positive and keeps me from living in the greyness of complacency.

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  7. You need to find a way to release your anger. Whether you go for a walk and scream at the skies or go out for supper and discuss with Finolia (I am so sorry I know that i have spelled her name wrong) but do not let it fester in the pit of your stomach. All it does is lead to more anger and rage. Without knowing but making inferences based on written statements it is hard when we have to face something so unfair that we want to rage yet as you said others accept with grace. Be proud that you have had a hand in guiding them towards this goal. I tend to be a machine gunner in anger. All my words come whipping out and than done. Not really good at all because of those on the receiving end. Since getting my depression under control and discovering the basis for my anger I have to admit I rarely anger and if I do it is due 99.9% of the time by customers/ex-husband lol Hope you have a great day. 🙂

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  8. In the past, I’ve let anger fester, consume my every thought, influence my actions and become a heavy burden. Now, I try really hard to get some perspective and let it go. To me, it’s energy that could be spent in more productive ways. Of course, that’s all in theory, it’s not so easy in reality.

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  9. I have not always dealt well with anger. Mostly by denying it or bottling it. Now I acknowledge it, and try to figure out why I’m angry. Often it comes down to one of two things (not always, but often): 1-I’m powerless over what is happening and I have no control so I’m frustrated and angered by that. 2- maybe this is the same thing, but I am angry when because of someone else’s thoughtlessness or callousness others suffer/pay the price/have to clean up the mess.

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  10. I yell when I’m angry. And I write.

    I’m the opposite, I do get angry quite easily but then I don’t usually stay angry for long.

    It’s crazy how often kids teach us with their attitudes. Maybe it’s supposed to be that way… we give and give until we’re absolutely drained and when we have nothing left to offer, they suddenly take over and surprise us with their strength.

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  11. I have a punching bag in the garage. I take a piece of chalk, write the name(s) of whatever it was that made me angry or I think is making my angry, and wail the tar out of it.

    When i was younger, it was running. You know that scene in Forresst Gump where he runs cross country several times. I can relate. I’m pretty sure if you added the mileage I put in when going through my divorce, I ran across kansas, Missouri, and Colorado combined, and while in Europe, probably if you added up those miles, I ran from warsaw to Normandy and back.

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  12. Anger is a normal feeling. Recognizing it and being honest with self at the cause can help ease it. I either decide to accept what I can’t change, or speak up if I must. Some situations are tricky!

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  13. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time Stephen. I wish I had answers but the best I can say is that anger is energy and that energy needs to go somewhere. So do what you feel you must as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else. I have a broken piece of extra fencing that came with the house and when it gets really bad I hit is with a baseball bat. Gets the energy out, nobody gets hurt, nothing broken. I also write it out at times when I can’t share what’s going on. Hope the situation clears up soon ❤

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  14. If you know whom you are angry at, is it a situation where you can confront them? It may help to get it in the open with them. Whatever you do, your anger needs somewhere to go. Better to have it out with the source of it and assert yourself politely. You’ll feel better for it. If you don’t, then you could blow up when you don’t want to. The key word is self assertion, preferably on the spot rather than later.

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  15. My short answer to your question is, “Not well, generally.” Sometimes I find it helpful to write out a nasty, angry email or Facebook post, stand back and look at it, imagine it being delivered, and then erase it before hitting “Send.”

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  16. I think you have to allow yourself to feel and process through. The only way through is through. I grapple with my anger coming out sideways and I often have to peel back the layers to understand where and why. My anger is usually fear based. Fear of loss, failure, lack of control etc. I like the idea of acknowledging my emotions and sitting in the discomfort with them and accepting. Then I can truly move beyond.

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  17. I’m so sorry to hear that things are really rough for your family lately. And I’m also sorry to hear that you feel you can’t talk to God about how you feel right now. My youngest daughter is also there, because of the crap that happened to me. I think when you see someone you love so much suffering, and trying to handle it well, that must make you the angriest of all. I wouldn’t of course dare to speak for your family, but I can tell you as someone who still suffers, sometime it’s easier to be on this side. He gives us grace to meet each second, even if we can’t think in terms of days. I know it’s annoying to be preached at like this probably, so I’ll just shut up and tel you that we care…..a lot. And we are praying for you and your family.

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  18. there’s nothing wrong with being angry. it’s a valid emotion. it’s what you do with the anger that can be a bad thing. it sounds like you are aware you are angry and you’re talking about it or writing about it at least… that’s very healthy. i have PTSD and my anger can at times get really out of control because i have so much legit stuff to be angry about. i was abused for most of my 41 years of life in some way or another but i am finally gaining control of my life through a lot of hard work.
    usually my anger is mild and i talk about it, i smoke weed to calm down (it helps with PTSD anger), i draw, write, take a bath, cry, eat, pet my cat, sing, dance, pick up the bass guitar, etc. but when my anger is out of control i punch walls, kick things, scream, hurt myself, etc. when things get to that point, i have to do meditation and deep breathing, counting backwards from ten, punch my punching bag, and i have a thing i do where i keep an orange in the freezer for when i feel out of control rage, i hold the frozen orange against my skin until it hurts and starts to melt a bit. then i smell the orange because i’m trying to ground myself using as many senses as possible. i see it, smell it and feel it. that helps calm me down… counting backwards from 10 was my newest discovery back in march when i was having fits of rage. i think i took a big breath at each number too. i forget exactly how i got through it. i’m not angry anymore though. not really anyway. not like i was. i don’t even know what it was about exactly. like i said i have PTSD and something can trigger rage. someone had told me they didn’t think i was brave, actually is what triggered it i think. i ruminated on their opinion and it ate me up. luckily i grew and learned from the experience, but there’s nothing wrong with anger. does your anger cause you to hate? does it cause you to hurt people? that is when anger isn’t healthy but anger is a natural feeling we shouldn’t have to hide.

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  19. The timeliness of this post is uncanny. I haven’t tapped into my Reader in eons and this is the FIRST post I read. “Throat lunch Thursday” legitimately took life for me today. It’s been a slow build, mind you -but yes my anger was insane today. Irrational or not, you can really like people and still want to strangle them through the Webex meeting and email reply to all chain at at the same time. And don’t even get me started on my 17 year old son who can’t be bothered, or my husband who will help anyone else with their honey do list (friends) but the running joke in the family is “ask dad to do something and it MIGHT get done next year”. Considering I have major readiness needed by tomorrow night-needless to say I’m piling on. And no, not generally ‘pissed off’
    This too shall pass…

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  20. This is the second time I have read this post. I would not have found it if you had not found my blog and liked it. Thank you for that. I find myself angry more often than not at this point due to my situation. My decision to type about it is hopefully going to be my outlet so I can become the person I used to be. A much needed read for me. Thank you,

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