A Death With No Depths

OCD is chaos, not order.

OCD is a death with no depths.

OCD is not funny, quirky or cute.

When will people open their eyes & ears to this?

When?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 15 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

37 thoughts on “A Death With No Depths

  1. Thank you for sharing about OCD this week. I don’t have OCD but do have depression. The more people are willing to share about mental health issues, hopefully the less stigma there will be.

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  2. The traits of OCD while problematic, also have developmental indices present. Out of chaos, comes order. It is through the paradox that the growth of the soul emerges.

    While it would be nice to rid ourselves of the capacity to be anxious, this emotion serves a purpose as it is a deeply rooted survival drive. The best exercises for OCD are inwardly reflective, meditative in quality, as these allow us to calm a racing mind. Thank you for this great article.

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  3. Hi, So amazing that OCD is just another mental illness that EVERYONE has/knows someone with/would like. Actually saw a post about a job advertisement ‘being a bit OCD an advantage’.
    Why are we still in the global mindset that OCD = ultra-tidy/ultra-organised/etc? Having to count all the time? Retrace steps (no matter how far you’ve gone) just to give the doorknob that special push, right in the centre? Knowing programs won’t load unless you position your mouse in the exact spot?
    OCD is ‘just’ a part of my bipolar/BPD but even so it absolutely sucks. Can’t even begin to imagine living with it day in day out. Thought your posts great for bringing it to the attention of your readers. I still fear that it is a very misunderstood daily struggle. I wish you well, without platitudes. I wish you strength, withour irony. X

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  4. “OCD is a death with no depths.

    OCD is not funny, quirky or cute.”

    Those words are powerful. Moving. And so true.

    It hurts when people are flippant with terms that cause those of use who battle them every day so much agony. The weather can’t be “bipolar”. Just because you’re a perfectionist (like I am about making my bed) doesn’t make you “OCD” about it.

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  5. Wait a minute … being neat & tidy is OCD? Really? When did this happen? Gee, I thought it was being a good housewife. I’ll have to tell my mother (she’s 84) this one.

    Back in my drinking days, I used to count steps … like if I was coming home, I would count the steps as I was walking up the stairs to my door. But that was so I wouldn’t miss one & fall. For a while, I thought that was OCD but I don’t do that anymore since I’m not drunk anymore.

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  6. I’m bipolar and get a lot of the off-hand and back-handed comments about the illness. Personally, rather than try to tell people they don’t have what I have, I dive into the depth of what I have and let them try to swim around in those waters. And once I have unleashed the strength and purity of what I am struggling against, almost always the person recognizes that they had no idea of what they were talking about and honestly begin a conversation on what coping techniques I have for dealing with such heaviness. Because in those moments, they recognize that they have problems that run parallel to my own but just on a different level.

    It brought me to the thinking that perhaps we are all unwell, it just takes place on a spectrum (kind of like autism).

    So I’m full blown bipolar and rocking the one end of the spectrum. While many people have touches of bipolar and congregate somewhere around the middle of the spectrum with the rest of society.

    Only knowing the obsessive nature of my thoughts but not at all thinking it OCD, I wonder if OCD is on a spectrum too. Like some people, like yourself, are rocking out on the end of full blown OCD, where as those people in the middle have no clue how bad it gets because they’re only in the middle of it. But yet they can still relate to what you’re going through superficially because they have a touch of it too.

    Does that make sense or am I being offensive by thinking this?

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    1. You’re not at all offensive. There are many shades and strands to OCD. It differs from one person to the next. I think you’re either OCD or you’re not but it can lie dormant for years. If you met me and I didn’t tell you then you’d never know I had OCD. Is your BPD more ‘visible?’

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      1. I’m not sure how visible my BPD is to strangers. By and large I think I come off as a peace-loving, harmony supporting hippie. And I don’t think most people associate hippies with bipolar batties. The times when my BPD are more visible is when extreme happenings are going down. Because in the event I’m triggered, I can start spiraling. It’s at that point I think most would step back and be like, “Oh that’s what she means when she says crazy.” By and large, the symptoms aren’t controlling my life so I don’t know how visible the illness is.

        But to those on my inner circle – it is glaringly obvious that I am dealing with some heavy stuff. And that’s because they can see all those moments that the general population never gets access to. So they see far more of the highs and the plunges into low and the overwhelming anxiety.

        I feel like I’m two different performers. One who could look all normal and put together and then like a superhero costume change I’m Magical Mood Mystique – come and guess what’s flowing through me if you dare. (I don’t dare people to do that.)

        It’s interesting considering how much we kind of hide away under the pretenses of normal. I think the most visible thing the BPD brought me was that I now accept I’m outside the box that society considers normal. And I don’t try to squeeze myself back into it. Some it rubs wrong, a lot it brightens their day.

        So I just keep doing my thing trying to be true to who I know myself to be, whatever label goes along with that is just added details for historians and statisticians to worry about.

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  7. People who don’t have OCD haven’t the slightest clue what it is. It is exhausting, ever present and relentless. It is not a need to clean, it is a need to repeat over, and over and over. . . . a twitch of the nose, a feeling on a finger tip, a grinding of the teeth, a glance of the eye, to have something, any random thing, just so. Whatever, it’s always something. The best we can do is fight to keep it constrained to less obvious things lest the world sees our struggle and deem is weird. I’m just glad I finally know what it is, for most of my life I thought I was just malfunctioning unlike any other. That’s a lonely place to be. Thanks for addressing this. 🙂

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