Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

We awakened this morning to high winds and rain beating against the bedroom window. Peeking outside revealed little as it was pitch dark. Yes, welcome to Northern Ireland in November. A bleak, dreary landscape. It’s little wonder the Game of Thrones producers chose our little country to film many of the Winterfell & Iron Island scenes from the books. Our weather is erratic, unpredictable and most definitely challenging.

They call Ireland the Emerald Isle and first time visitors are often amazed at how green our fair isle is as they fly in over a patchwork quilt of verdant fields. Our grass is so green because it rains so much, as in most days. Our summers usually consist of a weekend in June, preferably during exam time just to annoy the kids. The cows love it and happily munch away, watching the rest of us mutter and grumble.

As a commuter, I am rapidly resembling Scott of the Antarctic as I step out into the wilderness to brave the bitter conditions. Heavy duffel coat and woolly hat, it won’t be long before the scarf and gloves are also dusted down for their seasonal debuts. My fellow travelers on the 07:35 express to Belfast will be even surlier than normal this morning. We are united in our misery and we quietly seethe on the journey to work.

When it comes to griping and groaning about the inclement conditions I’m up there with the best of them. If there’s a torrent to be caught in, I’m invariably slap bang in the middle of it. It’s as if every time I step out the front door the heavens open. It’s particularly delightful in the middle of a 10 mile run. Why does it always rain on me I cry to the clouds, clenching my fist. There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

It’s a similar scenario with life in general. I tend to be a ‘glass half empty’ kind of person and the last few months have done little to convince me otherwise. I was out running yesterday and whatever turn I took I was staggering into a gale. You get to the point where it becomes almost laughable if it wasn’t so heart wrenching. Really, God, is this what it all comes down to at the end of the day?

I can take the personal knock backs as can Fionnuala. We are well used to disappointment and frustration. Maybe we deserve it for past transgressions, I know I do. It’s when it affects the kids that I get peeved. Our children have done nothing to deserve the illness and injury which has befallen them in recent times. We stand by, helplessly watching life deal another low blow. I feel useless, neutered.

We keep soldiering on, we keep turning up, we dig deep and draw closer as a family. The five of us form a core, a defensive hub. Friends come and go, churches drop by the wayside promising so much yet delivering so little, yet we go on. For there’s nothing else for it. Our kids need us to be strong, to be there, come rain or shine. There is no other option, no other way.

And I write about it, not because I particularly want to do, rather I need the cathartic release. It’s therapy and it’s free. I don’t do it for attention or numbers as was suggested yesterday. I don’t crave the limelight, my default position is to shun it. I write for myself today. Warts and all. Why does it always rain on me? Because it just does, that’s why. So best get on at dealing with it

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 15 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

51 thoughts on “Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

  1. I feel almost guilty saying it, especially after reading this, but the weather you’re having is my kind of weather. For some strange reason I thrive in it, it inspires me, I am very productive. I suppose it’s to do with the small concept of us all being different… and what is one man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure (or woman’s treasure, as it is in this case).

    While our views differ, I understand the frustration and annoyance. Not just for the actual rain, but the raining in your lives. And I absolutely share your sentiment when it comes to the children. I admire you for being there, getting up and showing up. In a place where everything seems to be going wrong, you and Fionnuala are performing THE most important task.

    I have never questioned your motives for writing because I very much enjoy reading what you have to say. I can’t answer for anyone else, but as far as I am concerned – you go for it! 😉 It definitely IS free therapy! The best kind! 😉
    I’m hoping that the storms pass for you guys, and that the rain is replaced by a very large and bright rainbow. Thinking of you all.

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  2. I know, it doesn’t seem fair that good people, who always do their best, should suffer so much. There’s a relevant Bible verse there somewhere, but I can’t bring it to mind. The constant struggle grinds us down, but please know that you are not being punished for past transgressions – they are gone and forgiven. It’s the way of this broken world that both the good and the bad suffer. It’s great that you have a strong family group, and I think it’s at times like this we need to cry out to God … and to each other. We all definitely need each other.

    I’ve got you’re book on my Kindle. I love your writing!

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  3. Why is it that we all look at each others’ lives and just see the good? I look at your lovely family and I smile with a sad longing for the closeness that you all have. You’re a team and yes, I’m sure there are moments of irritation and even madness at each other, but the point is, you have each other. Your family. I’m sending you a big hug from the other side of the pond where it might not rain as much, but it has other problems … write to vent your frustrations my friend … we’re here.

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  4. We got almost 9 inches of snow here in Buffalo yesterday so go ahead & complain about the rain all you want. I’m waiting for my hair to dry after my morning shower before I go out to shovel. I did a bit last night, so it’s not so bad. & I like shoveling. & it’s SOOOOOO pretty. That pure white everywhere you look.

    Honestly, I’ll take the snow over the rain any day. Which is one of the reasons why I live here.

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  5. Beats me how anyone can read the heartfelt words of another and decide they’re seeking attention. Surely everyone wants approval, to know someone is ready to listen without judgement. If bloggers aren’t genuine in sharing their pleasures and their pains then what’s the point?
    I loved the aphorism you posted a few days ago, about writing about things not for sympathy but to show why you are who you are. Please keep being honest.
    It’s absolutely chucking it down here in North Wales!! Gusts of 40 mph to send it on its way. But the scenery is beautiful – just like in your neck of the woods. Perhaps its the vagaries of the weather that makes us so pragmatic!?

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  6. I love your faith to your children and the determination of your wife. It is definitely therapy to write the frustrations out and find support. I have found the WordPress community and writer’s community much better than church life. I guess studying the darkness of the world makes most of them incapable of believing such terrible things happen outside of church walls; pray and it will go away. Not really-PTSD is real and a dragon that breathes fire and brimstone. Your kids’ writings and pictures help me believe that strong parents build resilient kids and communities. Don’t let your dreams fade. Mine might be “on hold”, but I know I have a calling and destiny. Your resolutions and solutions become mine. As we admire and appreciate the excellence it is shared.

    “Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.” –Aristotle

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  7. That is a great picture, I love cloud formations where light comes through sections, excellent. I am in New England across the pond, a little south of where you are. We have snow moving in, very cold weather and wind chills. ugh. Good luck out there, LOL !

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  8. I suppose a glib answer might be “So you can show your children how to keep going, because they will have glass half empty days.” Is it fair – Good Heavens, no! But then again, I don’t remember fairness being a promise. I have to keep reminding myself it isn’t how many times I get knocked down, but how many times I get back up. Kind of the Captain America thing “I can do this all day”. Even on the days I don’t want to,

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  9. I feel your pain! Farmers turn to me when drought is threatened. I am a rainmaker extraordinaire. The driest cloud in the sky will dump forth on me, usually, like you, in the middle of a 12-mile run! It is exasperating and confounding. And the wind — I live at the mouth of a canyon and the wind has me for a target – no matter which way I am running it is coming at me with full force. Once in a great while I catch it not paying attention and enjoy a swift pace with the gale at my back – until it gets wise. Much like life – we get to thinking all is well and become nonchalant in our course and then we are drenched or blown off our feet. I am learning through MUCH EXPERIENCE with this phenomenon to look for the light. Sometimes I fail to see it until after I have pass through it but it is there. The struggles and trials you and your family are facing now are a doorway to a greater way of living – you just can’t see it right now. “We keep soldiering on, we keep turning up, we dig deep and draw closer as a family.” Do you know how many people out there right now wish they could say this about their own family? This is just one part of your life that is currently refining you for what is coming. I truly believe this. In the meantime, know that you are not in this race alone nor are you wrenching an ankle in potholes full of mucky water or receiving nature’s wrath filled form of a facial – alone! Peace and grace to you this bleak and blustery November day – from here in Montana. USA.

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  10. I’m so sorry someone thought you were just trying to score attention. People like that need to realize they have the freedom to simply stop reading and go on with their lives. I personally relate to your honesty, your rawness, because it is how I write as well. I rarely have the willpower to write positive or happy blogs anymore; that’s not the season of life I am facing.

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  11. A phrase came up somewhere not too long ago, in some philosophical text I was reading. “Why not me?” I too tend to bemoan my fate, sure that the universe must be conspiring, sure that I have had more than my fair share of bad luck and occurrences. But, why not me? Things happen and they have to happen to someone. There’s no reason to suppose it’s personal though I tend to react as though it is.

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  12. Thank you for putting voice to what so many of us feel. The bit about what befalls our children especially resonated with me. My three had to deal with a tragedy when they were teenagers, the kind that made every day feel dark and bleak. But I’m here to tell you Stephen, they made it through and are all well functioning adults. Since we’re sharing phrases, I’ll add my favorites; “Keep the faith” and “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”.

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  13. You painted a beautiful picture with your words. Thank you for sharing your post. For inviting us in and seeing a glimpse of your world. I love what you shared about your family. Through all the afflictions, the suddenly(s) of life, together you all stand. As a fort ready to stand firm in battle. Life doesn’t make it easy. But together , as a unit, you all preserve. People are people-they love you according to how they experience you and shame you when they can’t understand you. As long as you are true to you, who cares what they think. They are just giving you the extent of their love for themselves. Keep your head up and continue with your writing, it’s beautiful and uplifting.

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  14. You are so lucky to have a super close family that have bonded together through the tough times.

    Sometimes hardships cause arguments and divisions and drive distance between people, consider yourself blessed.

    I have found that nature is indifferent to man. We all must persevere despite the storm. Glad that you have chosen that path.

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  15. Those of us who are a certain age should remember a cartoon character named Charlie Brown (Charles Shultz). Poor little guy had his own personal rain cloud. We all have them literally and figuratively. There is the saying “every cloud has a silver lining”. That halo effect comes from the sun shining behind it. Sometimes, you just have to look a bit harder to see it. A literal silver lining for you could be the lovely dairy all those grass-fed cows are producing. (unless you’re lactose intolerant.) We don’t see that much here. I love hot chocolate on cold, icky days. It can only be properly made with milk (yes, whole). I’m betting the milk available in your community makes divine hot chocolate. It’s even better with a cozy blanket and good book.

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  16. Stephen, My little patch of heaven known as Central New York is famous (infamous) for its long and snowy winters. When well-meaning folks ask me why I choose to live here, I tell them just that, it’s my choice. This is my home, which I love, so I’ll take the weather as part of the total package!
    I recently heard a different spin on the half/full- half empty description I’d like to share. This person told me that if I’m a glass half-empty person, pour the contents into a smaller glass!
    Blessings to you and yours,
    Chuck

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