Do You Find It Hard To Make Friends?

Eight miles this morning which was much needed as I’ve had to take a few days off due to Adam’s knee surgery. I’ll be back at work tomorrow so hopefully the running will get back into some sort of routine. Today I chose a favourite route out to a country pub on the shores of Lough Neagh, the largest lake in the British Isles, covering 153 square miles. I looked that up on Wikipedia, obviously.

I stopped at the pub to catch my breath where I was greeted by the landlord’s three chocolate brown labradors. They always come over to say hello when I pass by but unfortunately I didn’t have any treats to give them. Maybe next time. Ok the way back I passed a lady out power walking. I cheerily shouted ‘Good Morning,’ whereupon she jumped several feet in the air. She was wearing earphones and hadn’t heard me coming.

I was going to post a photo of a lovely white horse who lives in a nearby field, but he wasn’t about today. Maybe he had a late night and was still in his stable sleeping off the effects of the evening before. I look forward to seeing my animal friends on my favourite routes. I wonder what they make of me as I stagger past, puffing and panting in my hi-viz clothing. They probably think humans are crazy and they’re probably right.

I’m an introvert by nature and find it hard to make new friends. It also doesn’t help that I’ve had my fingers burnt in the past by supposed friends, leaving me wary and reluctant to expose myself again. I’m not blameless in this either and know I need to learn to move on give people a chance. If nothing else, I will always have my animal chums as long as I keep running out to visit them.

Do you find it hard to make friends?

Who are your animal friends?

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 15 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

72 thoughts on “Do You Find It Hard To Make Friends?

  1. I think when we’ve been burned in relationships (including friends who’ve hurt us in some way) we’re very wary of being vulnerable again. Of course, we know that not everyone is going to harm us but it makes us wary – and that’s understandable. BTW, I’d love to see you in your high-viz gear!!!!

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  2. I find it very hard to make friends, but that’s my own fault for pushing people away before they get to close. Due to past experiences of bad friendships. Out of sight out of mind is a phrase that continues to follow me through my life. I sadly do not have any animal friends and probably never will, i would love a German Shepard, but as I’m a full time single worker this isn’t possible. So my friends are in books that i read over and over again when feeling lonely.

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      1. Books are always there for you to fill a gap what ever time of day. Old favourites and new “friends”, it’s a good escape from your own world for a few hours.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I am an extrovert but still find it hard to make friends simply because I have a very low self esteem. I have huge trust issues with people. I think that’s why I have ended up in multiple abusive relationships, because those bad men initially showed interest in me.

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  4. I am an introvert but extraverts seem to gravitate towards me. Most of my friends are from work. I met my bff of many years from church.
    If it was up to me taking the initiative, I would not have any friends.

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  5. I wouldn’t say I find it hard to make friends as I get on with almost everyone but I am a bit shy about making the first move to introduce myself to a new person. Once I get over that hurdle I’m usually fine though.
    I love animals too (with a few exceptions) especially the 4 legged furry ones but I am allergic to some of them and don’t currently have any of my own. I do enjoy saying hello to my neighbours dogs when they come out for a chat though.

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  6. Friendship is a tricky thing. First, you have to decide what kind you’re contemplating. Are you hoping for close friends or is it more of a “smile and chat when you run into each other but don’t make much in the way of effort to actually connect”? Then, you have to decide how soon you’re going to be you. I find it’s trickier, a bit, with mental illness. When do you disclose, and do you, and is the person the kind who will receive it well or try and fix you with information gleaned from memes on social media? I keep my circle small; that’s an energy thing as well. There’s only so much time in a day; how thin do you want to be spread?

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  7. I find it hard to initiate the conversation though I’m doing better than before. I however ensure to keep the conversation open once it’s started.
    Oh my animal friends are cats and dogs I strongly believe we communicate with each other

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  8. I’m an introvert and generally find the company of dogs and horses preferable to people. That being said, I’ve been blessed to have a tight circle of friends over the last few years. Some I’ve known for thirty-plus years. Most of those friendships started in either recovery meetings or at church. Common ground makes it a bit easier to start friendships but I would fail miserably if left to general social settings. Talking about the weather or last Sunday’s football game is rather uncomfortable and annoying. It’s easier to speak to a conference hall full of people than it is to share one on one.

    I’m blessed to know a lot of people but the number of those I invite to break bread at my house is much smaller. Those are the deep friendships; the ones that I count on and believe in daily. I am required to be unconditionally kind to every one no matter who it is. However, as my friend Jerry used to say, “I get to choose who I have dinner with”…

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  9. I like this post very much, Stephen. It’s the first time I’ve felt I’ve heard your voice instead of mine while reading your writing. Why is it that most writers are introverts? My perfect day is watching the birds at my bird feeder and writing.

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  10. I am an introvert too. I don’t have many friends. But I have four adult sons. They are very close to me and I relate to them as friends.
    I love animals specially dogs. I have two adorable Labradors.
    Thank you for asking.
    Happy start of the week!
    Anita

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  11. I find people want to be friends with me, but as I grow older I am wary of having them as friends. I have a very small circle of friends and am not interested in expanding. I can be friendly or nice with people, but I do not want to be too close.

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  12. I don’t find it particularly hard to make friends, Stephen, but as I’ve got older I’ve become a bit lazier in maintaining friendships, preferring to stay at home in the comfort of family. Like you, I’m an introvert and feel more comfortable with small groups rather than larger ones.

    Those Labradors are fabulous … wow, some heaps of muscle there! 😀 I love horses so I’m looking forward to seeing a photo of your white horse friend when he next comes to greet you. 🙂

    Hope Adam is comfortable.

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  13. I find it hard to make friends. I am not the kind of person who usually initiates conversation or contact. I definitely prefer the company of cats and dogs. With them, I don’t have to act proper, or anything, of the sort. With my Japanese Spitz, whisky, I can be myself. I also don’t have that much in common with many people, so,I find the act of making small talk, what most people call conversation, a total bore. I have learnt to tolerate it though. I am introverted, but I am learning the act of faking extroversion, because those are apparently desirable qualities in society. By the time the weekend reaches, I am usually burnt out from social interactions, and prefer to relax with a book or watch tv on my phone.

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  14. Friendship is difficult for me beyond the initial getting to know you stage. It’s hard to trust people after you’ve been hurt and abused by them. There are very few I let in all the way besides my husband. My fur babies, Ghost and Tyrion, are my snuggle cats and I love them so much. They can make even the worst day have at least some joy.

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  15. I’m an oddball: I don’t like animals. I also hate nature. We recently got a cat, but she does not enjoy being pet, and is content to just sleep next to me somewhere on the bed. We have the perfect relationship.

    I’m introverted, but I’m not a private person. I find myself very much an open book, and so it’s hard to lose my trust. I’m extremely loyal, so I have a couple of very close friendships, and then more that I do my best to keep up with. This does put a toll on me emotionally, particularly with my migraines, and I battle with feeling neglected or used at times. I have to learn to give others space, and to not impose myself on people.

    But my absolute favorite companions are books.

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  16. I am literelly that wierd person that says hi to the dog and hand over treats (I always have treats because we have a pup) I do not make eye contact to people! However, small dogs are usually nasty and yappy, so I’m the strange person running upto a big mean looking dog yelling “OMG look at yhoooo” 🙈

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  17. Wow, I haven’t had a close friend in nearly 20 years. It’s okay, though. My family keeps me busy, as does work. My life is full. Oh, and I love my animal friends (much more than most people).

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  18. I’m always extremely introverted. I have 2 good friends that I met while working and we’ve stayed in touch mostly via email. But since I no longer go into an office 5 days a week, I find it very difficult to meet people with similar interests that I can talk with face-2-face. And yes, I miss that.

    Animal friends, on the other hand, very easy to meet and enjoy an hour or a day with.

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  19. I don’t find it hard to make friends, I never really have. Odd because I like keeping to myself half of the time. Then other times I like to socialize. My pup Onyx is my animal friend, my best friend actually 🌻🌻❤

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  20. I’ve always been somewhat of a loner, an introvert who still finds ways to stand out and be noticed.
    I tended to not so much avoid people in my younger days, but didn’t put a lot of effort into cultivating more than superficial relationships. As I’ve grown older (we’re all doing that, I’ve just made it further than most), I’ve regretted that I didn’t put value and effort into socializing. It’s hard to start, but I do what I can (although most of the time it’s like with the lady wearing the headphones – both parties need to be ready and willing. Don’t give up – timing (and luck) can be everything.
    Animal friends – I had a dog (a miniature westie named Katy) that we had for 15 years, but we had to put her down 4(?) years ago. Now my animals are acquaintances too – the neighborhood rabbits and squirrels, and the hawks, bobcats and coyotes they’re trying to avoid (sometimes, closeness isn’t the best policy)

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