It’s Christmas Eve, so like any normal, self-respecting man, I decided to go out Christmas shopping. Because why be logical and organised when you can leave it to the very last minute and run around like a headless chicken on the verge of a massive coronary? This year I took my strapping son, Adam, to help me wade through the crowds and fight off autograph seekers. Okay, I admit I made that last bit up.
The cars were queuing to get into the shopping centre at 09:00 a.m. and the huge car park already looked ominously full. Thankfully we shoehorned into a precious parking space and, within minutes, were in our first queue. Friendly staff in ill fitting festive jumpers were delighted to cater for our desperate, last minute purchases. Soon we were out of shop number one and en route to the main event.
My son, having a brain, had reserved said item, a purchase for Fionnuala. This cut out several thousand hours of hanging around and fast tracked us up the queue where a harassed looking member of staff was attempting to appease a very angry looking man. After being informed several times that it was ‘customer policy, Mr Angry stormed out of the store informing anyone within hearing range that it ‘was an absolute joke.’
We never found out what ‘it’ was but I’m pretty certain it wasn’t a ‘joke’ as nobody appeared to be laughing. Adam and I, though, felt quite smug as we sauntered to the front of the line with our reservation order. There was a temporary panic when the very nice African lady behind the counter told us our purchase was £60 more expensive than we’d been told online. A combination of her strong accent and our poor hearing.
When the communication barriers were overcome we all apologised to each other, because that’s what us Northern Irish do, before paying the proper price and heading to the collection point. There were around two dozen in front of us but our number was called within seconds much to the disgust of several fellow shoppers whose looks were very much of a murderous nature. Merry Christmas to you too, sir.
Not wishing to outstay our welcome we beat a hasty retreat to the car passing Mr Angry outside who was telling a shocked woman that ‘they won’t do it, they won’t do it.’ Again I’m uncertain what ‘it’ referred to it but the poor man looked exceedingly short on Christmas cheer. I’m hopeful, however, that as I write this his day will have improved considerably and ‘it’ will all be sorted out.
Leaving the shopping centre, the rest of the world was still trying to enter it. Fellow drivers sat hunched over their steering wheels, all united in their misery. There wasn’t a ‘ho ho ho’ in sight and I doubt even the baby Jesus would have raised a warm smile or kind word amongst them. Is this how Mary and Joseph felt on Christmas Eve? Tired, a little bit grouchy and wishing they had been more organised? Probably.
It worked out alright for them in the end though. Christmas Day was a triumph with shepherds, wise men and the obligatory angelic host. They even got presents although Mary probably rolled her eyes at the impractical offerings from the rich blokes on the camels. Wise men? Yeah, right. Gold, I can use. But frankincense and myrhh? Men and their Christmas Eve shopping. I guess it was a problem even in 1st Century Palestine.
Happy Christmas Eve everyone 🎄🎄🎄
Black Thoughts 
Oh you always make me so happy for having chose to click to read your latest post. I always look forward to seeing what your mind has in store for us. I giggled my way through this read. Thank you for the blessed dose of holiday cheer and for continuing to be a shining example of what good men look like in the real world.
Many well wishes for a blessed holiday full of happiness and peace and blissful joy to enjoy!
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Thank you very much for your continued support.
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Thanks for a wonderful Christmas Eve story and making me laugh😆
Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family🎄💜
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You’re welcome and the same to you.
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You are a brave man Stephen. No doubt, the hunter/gatherer gene is strong fro you!
Have a great family day!
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Ha Ha. Thank you Mark 😊
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Your opening bit reminded me of “Jingle all the Way” – the Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas shopping comedy – which I watched the other day.
Anyway…I hope you guys have an awesome holiday, and that many people will be getting your book as their present this year 🙂
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Thank you. I hope so too 🙂
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Haha! Thanks for the Christmas cheer 😃 I do love a good grumpy shopping trip tale. Seems to be more of them these days.
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Lots of grumpy people about 😂
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You’ve got me in stitches thanks for sharing your story very amusing!
Wishing you and you family a wonderful Christmas! 🎄
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You’re welcome. Thank you 😊
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Ha ha ha. Thanks for the laughs about the unlaughable crush on the eve of Christmas. Happy Christmas 🎄 to you and yours!
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Thank you Ruth. Same to you 🙂
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Thank you for the laugh. I appreciate your perspective. Merry Christmas to you and the whole Black family.
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Thank you. Same to you 🙂
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Happy Christmas to you all!
🎄 🌟 ✨
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Thank you. Same to you 🙂
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9 am? You’re supposed to wait until 3 pm if you’re the typical man!
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😂😂😂
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Merry Christmas, dear Irish friends! I’ve had to do some shopping, too, but it’s been for food and gifts I didn’t know I was supposed to buy for my daughter’s fiance.
On a different note, I’ve been watching a lot of videos on YouTube about Irish people trying things. They’re pretty funny. Ever thought about doing your own video of you two trying something new? Hot peppers? A crazy translation fo the Bible? It would be fun to watch 🙂
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Ha, I don’t think I’d be able to talk Fionnuala into participating in such a series Anthony 😂
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I had to go shopping to grab some last minute cooking stuff, and the store was a *nightmare*.
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Glad you survived it 🙂
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Love your humor. Praying you and your family have a blessed and very merry Christmas!
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Thank you very much. Same to you 🎄
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Lol! Sounds like a mad rush and a real blast! 😀 merry christmas to you and all the family, Steven! ❤
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Same to you Carol Anne 🙂
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Great story. I like it when my wife dispatches me on my Christmas quest and I do my best to be an intrepid gift-hunter, swift and insightful. That she returns or exchanges much of what I get her seems par for the course, but she is always appreciative that I make the effort.
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Ha Ha. This all sounds very familiar 😂
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Haha, this is exactly why I wrote my article about the 5 best stores for online christmas shopping. Braving the shops at the very last minute is a recipe for stress and distress in my opinion, lol.
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I’ll have to check out your post, Jo. Thank you.
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