There is always a reason for pain, be it physical or mental. It doesn’t just magically pop out of the ether, determined to ruin your day, year or life. There is a cause, something lurking behind. It can be anything – a pulled muscle, strained ligament or faltering organ. That’s the physical side of it, but I want to talk about mental pain today – the invisible torment that hides within so many of us. The pain that nobody else sees but which moulds and shapes who we are today.
We are who we are because of external factors. It can be an event or an individual. They have brushed against us at some point in our lives and we still have the scars to show it. I had a fleeting encounter a while ago with someone I once considered a close friend, someone who knew me, who I had taken a chance on and opened up to. The encounter left me rattled as it brought back old memories, opened up old wounds. It made me want to give up.
This person used to inspire me, to push me on to greater things. That was then, though, and this was now. A lot of water had passed under the bridge. When I faced them the other day I felt snubbed, unworthy and useless. All the hard work I’d put in rebuilding my life felt like a complete waste of time. I was back to square one, at the bottom of the well, the dirt on their shoes. That’s how they made me feel, or rather that’s how I allowed them to make me feel.
They made me feel that way, or rather I allowed them to make me feel that way. For a fleeting second, I allowed them beneath my skin to wreak havoc. Well, no more. I choose to accept the gift they have given me and use it for my own purposes. The pain becomes a weapon which I will wield to break down barriers and vanquish enemies. It will drive me forwards, towards where I want to be, where I deserve to be. They are my unwitting inspiration.
Black Thoughts 
This is absolutely it Srephen. The same happened to me only yesterday. Trusting people and opening up to them is really hard. Then to be knocked down. Some people are so insensitive tonus, and just cause havoc. I must admit that I do not feel able to deal with it in the way that you have. The pain is so bad. But it hasn’t stopped me doing the things that I do. Just the pain is making me limp and wilt a bit at the moment.mmit passes though. But it does make us wary of ever opening up again, and then things build up like a pressure cooker inside of us. People usually cannot understand that feeling. Anyway Stephen thankyou for opening up here.
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You’re very welcome. You are not alone. Please hang in there.
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Good morning, Stephen, I am thankful you no longer allow people to control your emotions, your drive. It reminds me of Romans 8:28, God promises to use all things (including pain) for the good of those who love Him. Have a blessed Sunday, Julie
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Thank you Julie.
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Very welcome!
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I can totally relate to that sting. I had become close to someone – talked almost every day for 7 years, shared almost everything -only to be “dumped” without any explanation. I guess I’ve learned two things. First, I shouldn’t depend on ANYONE like that to share my concerns etc – other than God. Second, the importance of closure. I think that’s what hurts the most (in this case) is that we didn’t get to have a conversation where we both could’ve shared whatever needed to be said and then said our goodbyes. Thanks for your post.
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You’re very welcome. I’m sorry to hear your story and hope for better times ahead.
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Thank you for this post and this crucial insight. It really isn’t what happens to us that matters. It is what we choose to do with what happens to us. Clearly you have chosen to let something other than your pain define you. Blessings!
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Thank you. You’re very welcome 🙂
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We forget sometimes people we come across in our lives are only messengers or guides to get us to the next journey or crossroad, and we’re never meant to be in our lives permanently.
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Wise words. Thank you.
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Sometimes life seems like a constant series of ups and downs, but God knows your worth, Stephen. All your hard work hasn’t been a waste of time. It may seem like a setback, but it’s not. You are getting stronger all the time and the only ones whose opinions count are God, yourself, your family and friends. Keep your chin up!
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Thank you very much Lesley 🙂
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Great blog!! Upon reflection this is something I can relate to, and there have been times where I have used my pain as further motivation to succeed 🙂
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Thank you 😊
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Well said. It is a difficult thing to do. May we carry on with grace, friend. 🕊
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Thank you very much 🙂
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I know exactly what you mean. It gets easier, with time, to see these people and feel grateful for who they once were, and at the same time also grateful that they are with you no more 😆
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Most definitely. Hope you are keeping safe & well 😊
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I love the quote…don’t chase after people God removes from your life. He say things you didn’t and heard things you couldn’t. Some people come as blessings and some as lessons. Our value and worth is in Christ🙏🏼
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Thank you 😊
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Right. Sadly, you allowed them to make you feel that way. We encounter many people in our lives. Only God should define your worth, because humans are fickle–and fall short just like we all do. But it’s a hard lesson to learn. We want to influence people for good so it’s hard to know when we’re supposed to hang around to lift others up, and when they are merely an anchor to destroy our usefulness.
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Want to add, it’s a lesson it’s been taking me a long time to learn.
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A friend of mine used to say, “Nobody can walk all over you unless you lay down first”. Wise words. Something about giving away our power resonates there and, of course, the unsaid advice, don’t lay down. Our pain can lead to great wisdom, if we let it. And you, Sir, are very wise because of the battles you have endured. Great post!
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Thank you very much Carol 🙂
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You’re welcome 🙂
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Kia kaha, and more power to you. Strength through pain. Thank you for sharing this inspiration with us. 🙂
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You’re welcome Hamish. Thank you 😊
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I am sorry you had this experience. I am encouraged to hear that you are able to rise above it and see it for what it is.
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Thank you very much 🙂
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These experiences are horrible and draining. It is frustrating when you know how much work you’ve put into yourself and the work is left unacknowledged. I am happy you are working on you and figuring out what you have control over and what you don’t.
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Thank you Kristin. Much appreciated 🙂
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I have never had any problem finding critics. Those who inspire and encourage are real gems to find. Thanks for being a gem with this encouraging post that urges us to rise above it all.
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You’re very welcome. Continued happy hunting 🙂
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“They made me feel that way, or rather I allowed them to make me feel that way”. A profound thought on taking responsibility for what happens to you – not the pain, but your response to it. The latter is within our control but, more often than not, we do not exercise this power. The transition from victim mode to power mode requires a leap of faith. Great post.
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Thank you very much. Great point 👍🏻
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Great post. I never thought about pain that way. Something to me to think about in a positive way for sure.
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Thank you 😊
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