I was interviewed last night for a podcast hosted by a fellow Irish writer. All day the thought of it lurked at the back of my mind, a ball of anxiety and worry growing with each passing hour. I started to regret agreeing to take part, convinced I was going to make a mess of it and come across as a blethering buffoon. As the hour neared, I wondered if I could cut my losses and run for the hills, never to be seen again.
As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about. The podcast host, Conor, was excellent and quickly put me at ease. The questions were interesting and relevant and I soon was lost in talking about writing, my books, and a range of other topics. When it ended, I realised we had been chatting for over an hour, when it felt like only a handful of minutes had passed. Afterwards I wondered what the big deal had been.
I’ll find something else to worry about today, for that’s what I do. Existing on a diet of low level anxiety, never far from the surface of my being. I wish I wasn’t constructed this way, but I am and it could be a lot worse. I manage it via a variety of coping mechanisms which get me through each situation. I muddle through, get by, make it to the other side of the bridge. It might not always be pretty, but it’s effective. I do enough.
If this sounds familiar, if you’re a worry wart, then know that you’re not alone. Join me in muddling through, in doing enough. Dig deep and find what you need in order to get to the other side of what is bothering you today. You have it in you. You can and you will. And when you reach the other side, look back and be proud of your achievement. Celebrate it, remember it and be prepared to learn from it. For the next time.