Death keeps me alive. Let me rephrase that, the thought of death inspires me to live. I hit the ‘big 50’ in April, a total game changer in more ways than one. It was difficult not to react by thinking time was running out, as opposed to I have all the time in the world. I should have been looking ahead, as opposed to over my shoulder at what-ifs and could-do-betters. I can’t rewrite my past, much as I’d like to in parts, but I do have a say in what lies ahead.
Or rather, I have a say in how I react to what lies ahead. Life is a topsy-turvy ride of incredible highs and ridiculous lows, over which I’ve little control. Covid-19 anyone? But how I respond to these inevitable peaks and troughs is within my ballpark. I can meander along in mediocrity or I can strike out and forge the best possible future for myself and my family. The future is in my hands, which I wash on a regular basis I might add.
I don’t want to die, none of us do, but I’m resigned to the fact that I will. What matters is that we wring every last drop out of the time we have left. It can be decades, years, months or less. What we must do is make every day count, make the good ones better, and the bad ones at least more tolerable. We owe that to ourselves and our loved ones. I fear death, but a greater fear is an unfulfilled life, where potential was smothered by anxiety and doubt.
Today is 18 September 2020 and I need to make it the best 18 September 2020 I possibly can. For I won’t get a second bite of this particular cherry. It’s a one-stop, once in a lifetime opportunity. You can sprinkle it with laughter and love or muddle through, staring at the ground and muttering, wrapped up in self-pity and regret. I’m not prepared to allow that to happen, are you? Life is there to be lived, starting today. For today is everything, it’s always today. Make today the best day you can. Tomorrow can wait.