My New Glasses

I collected my new glasses this morning, an event of great excitement, as my old pair have been held together by masking tape and the power of prayer for several months now. Masking tape that has been gradually unraveling no mater how many times I reapplied it, giving me the look of a slightly deranged librarian to be avoided by the general public at all costs. Do not approach this man, I repeat, do not approach.

The difference in prescription was a bit overwhelming at first. Everything looked bigger and brighter making me feel I was coming down from a particularly bad acid trip. Not that I’ve had a particularly bad acid trip or any kind of acid trip for that matter. I was just using a little artistic license there. Apologies to all those who have had particularly bad, or even fair to middling, acid trips.

The new lenses are varifocal meaning I don’t have to hold a book to my nose now in order to be able to read it. Again this had been giving me an ‘avoid at all costs’ vibe on public transport which at least ensured I was always guaranteed a seat to myself. Very important, I’m sure you’ll agree, in these times of social distancing and heightened personal hygiene. I’m a new man. At least when it comes to my vision and reading style.

I’ve gone for the geek chic look with the frames. Chunky and black but not too chunky as I don’t want to be mistaken for an Irish Austin Powers. I also paid a little extra to have the lenses thinned. My eyesight is poor but I don’t want to be openly mocked in the street for looking like Mister Magoo. If you’re too young to know who that is I’m afraid you will have to google it as I’m off to read my Kindle like a normal human being.

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

53 thoughts on “My New Glasses

  1. Totally relate to what you said in your article from start to finish! You look good (same shape as mine btw, not the logo the real ones I mean, except mine are bicolor). My mum used to call me Magoo long ago, before I started wearing glasses, as I was always squeezing my eyes in an attempt to see 😀

    Liked by 6 people

  2. You had me giggling so much! You look awesome in your new glasses! I have a new pair, trifocals, and I looked so drunk trying to wear them in public that I had a “mid-range” pair (added blublocking) made just for computer work. Now I only look half-drunk wearing the other transitions since I’ve adapted a wee bit. Last week I felt like I had to be 100% better on my “getting ready to go out” game. Typically I’m wearing the same workkamper t-shirt and jeans. And what was this? 100 more people than typical roaming about? Jeez….for my own vanity I felt I needed to step up my game a bit. But only when I HAVE to…LOL!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Looking pretty sharp there!!! I got my first bi-focals with my last visit to the eye doctor after years of insisting I did not need them. They warned me not to climb mountains with them because they can skew your perception!!! Well, I can’t afford multiple pairs of glasses – so I found out the hard way that they were right. Yikes.
    I am always amazed by each new prescription that I could see anything with the previous one… not a good sign!

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Nice specs! Didn’t know lenses could be thinned, interesting. I’ve worn trifocals for years, complete with lines. Gave up long ago trying mono-lens contacts (how do people drive with these?), no-lines (field of view too limited) so resigned myself to looking like a pecking chicken as I walk gauging steps, curbs, etc. I take them off when I go for the daily walk as I stay in the street to avoid the uneven sidewalks and know my routes well. A pair of strong cheaters work for the computer, saves my neck trying to read from the bottom of the lenses LOL.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. All of that sounds familiar, Serendipity. I have had progressive lenses for some time now, too. Same thing about walking in the mornings – in the street because it is generally more reliable stepwise. And the doc issued me separate glasses for computer work, although most of the time I just do it bare-eyed.

      Liked by 4 people

  5. Always good to partake of laughing at oneself. If we don’t we risk falling into the bracket of taking everything too seriously! (This is in no way me making light of the situation anywhere in the world right now.)

    Like

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