Will We Ever Be The Same Again?

I’ve been a bit under the weather of late. Yesterday I slept for 13 hours which is huge for me and utterly unnatural. I’ve been off for a while now. I came home from a gentle three mile walk the other day and felt like I had run a marathon. And I know that feeling having run 10 of them. I’ve been trying to keep running but a 5K now is a gargantuan effort whereas, before, it was a warm-up.

I’ve had my blood tested but it came back as normal. My cholesterol is slightly higher than usual but I put that down to the enforced lack of exercise. The ongoing lockdown has also meant more time at home with added snacking to pass the time. I’m not overly worried about it but it’s frustrating having such low energy levels. I get tired really easily. I don’t like being tired all the time.

It’s a funny phrase, ‘under the weather.’ As if I’m wandering about with a dark cloud shadowing my movements. Permanently in need of an umbrella in case the heavens open above and I’m soaked to the bone. And always keeping an eye out for a stray bolt of lightning frying me to a crisp. Feeling ‘under the weather’ denotes not being yourself, off your game and underperforming. I’ve ticked all three of these boxes this week.

These are boxes I don’t particularly want to tick at present but here I am and, as my son always says, ‘it is what it is.’ I have to accept my current predicament and adapt to it. At the minute I can’t run marathons. I need to be realistic and rest up. Fionnuala advised not even to take the dog for a walk around the village today and, as ever, she was right. I would have struggled and probably ended up ringing her to come rescue me.

I’m sure I’ll be fine again in a day or two, but it got me thinking. The entire planet seems to be under the weather these days and I’m not just talking about global warming. People are tired, frustrated and generally fed up. Our supposed leaders keep telling us that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and to hang in there for a little bit longer. Problem is, they’ve been telling us that for over a year now.

People are running out of patience. We can’t take out our annoyance on a faceless, uncaring virus so we take it out on each other. Social media has become increasingly toxic in recent months and the lack of tolerance and respect has been jaw-dropping at times. What happened to robust, reasoned debate? I remember the days when you could agree to disagree and shake hands without being at each other’s throats.

Many talk of looking forward to getting back to normal but will it ever be the same again, and I’m not just talking about mask wearing and social distancing. Will we be the same again? I can only speak for myself but I feel battered, bruised and more than a little broken. Not my body but my soul, my spirit, whatever you want to call it. I see things differently now. Priorities and values have changed.

Change is part of life, I know that. Personally I’m always a bit wary of it but I know it is necessary and is often healthy and constructive. I’m not so sure this time though. So much division and ill-feeling. Hatred and malice have replaced kindness and compassion. We have hardened as a race and it’s not a pretty sight. I hope I’m wrong but I fear for the future, I really do.

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

17 thoughts on “Will We Ever Be The Same Again?

  1. In my experience with depression, with dealing with loss is that it will wear you down. It is VERY exhausting. Give yourself a chance to recharge, but try to give yourself that boost and get out and about when you can.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t fear the future but there’s no going back to normal & honestly, I’m not sure that I want to. The old normal is what produced this mess.

    I’m very depressed, too & very tired as a result. I try to get out of the house for a walk every day whether I want to or not.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well. It’s also very easy to get depressed over the things that are happening. I’ve been dealing with it myself. But try to stay strong. As much as you can. You have a family who needs you. Pray that things do get better and don’t lose faith. The world is in trouble but you can only take care of your own inner circle. That is doable. As long as you all stay strong and take care of yourselves the best way you can. That’s all any of us can do really. Go see your doctor if your fatigue persists just to get some peace of mind. Hopefully, everything will be okay. I know you love your country but if things ever become unbearable there, you know you can always move to a place that has fewer restrictions. Just a thought about the future if things don’t get better down the line. God bless you and your family.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Change is inevitable… But it’s upto us whether we want to see the good or the bad. Get well soon and rid the negative thoughts. It will help a lot in getting better soon. 😊


  5. Hope you get to feeling better. My current strategy is to be extra kind and shit, but it’s not always easy. I’ve turned off the tv and I’m not going back. Hopefully in the future we’ll get normal again. Thanks for writing books to keep us all quiet and busy with something else! Be safe. Got my mask on for you!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Spirits are flagging everywhere, we all have pandemic fatigue. I notice fewer people using social media (myself included). It just gets to the point where you feel you have nothing of substance to say, and who’s really listening anyway? Yeah, it’s depressing. I feel for you. I hope the funk lifts soon and you have energy again to embrace life with your family and dear ones. A friend once advised me to “break it down and make it manageable”. So I think on that when life gets hard. I break it down and give myself goals to aim for – sometimes it’s goals I can handle in a minute or two, sometimes (depending on how I feel) they’re more challenging. Be gentle with your self.


  7. I pray that we don’t go back to what everyone considered normal. COVID simply illuminated the “normal” and exacerbated the tensions that were already there. This mess, this pandemic, has been hard on everyone. However, I’ve witnessed many positive changes during all this.

    The crisis has made many aware that change, while uncomfortable, is needed to make the world work. Here in the US, many have begun to question old ways of thinking. They may be small in number but they represent the change that is coming. Take heart my friend and look for the positive that’s out there. Perhaps it will help the energy level.


  8. It can be so disconcerting and frustrating when your body decides to work against you. I have been through a similar time of lethargy and fatigue, a complete sapping of the will to do anything with a cloud of malady hanging over me just waiting for the prime moment to let loose with a torrent of other troubling symptoms. Like you, I went to my doctor, and aside from discovering that I was not metabolizing the B vitamins in my diet as well as supplements, (apparently, as we age our body can sometimes lose this ability) I was told everything was fine. I started taking a different form of vitamin B supplements that are metabolized differently and that seemed to help my energy levels. However, mentally I still feel dispirited.
    But this is not a medical commentary so I will stop with that line of thought!
    I think we are all carrying the weight of this burdened and broken world on our shoulders and it is a long journey we are headed down. I take heart that I am not in this alone and am not the only one feeling as you are. I hope you too can find solace and strength in this shared community. I thank you for letting us in on your struggles. It shows that you are human and helps us all be more vulnerable to one another. That is the key to surviving this time. Recognizing our common humanity and being open to walking alongside one another.
    Be well, Stephen!


  9. I agree. Society here in the U.S. is changing dramatically…and not for the better. It’s difficult to witness. Sure, body, soul & spirit move one another. Yet, when cultural paradigms shift, like the soil beneath our feet, we too shift. I have found I look for what does not change. Leaning on my faith more and more tends to be my trend. If the world is going to hell in a hand basket, I will hold on the the Rock Of Ages. After all, “ages” come and go. Hoping you stay well and strengthen. God’s grip – Alan (Dallas, Texas)


  10. I hope you feel better soon. I have to agree with some of the others in that we all are suffering from the pandemic fatigue. I have felt like I am sleeping more than ever have in my life as well as continuing to be more exhausted. Lack of exercise does have a lot to do with it, however, I think we’re all in the same boat and paddling cautiously onward.


  11. I definitely see what you’re saying is happening in the world. All we can do is be the best we can be, and point out when we see others acting in a hurtful way. As you’ve said in a few of your posts about trolls, not to feed the fire, but to make sure people that are unaware of how they are behaving have the opportunity to realise and right their wrongs.

    On another note, super cool that you’ve run 10 marathons Stephen. 😊 That’s awesome!

    You’re doing good, and I hope you keep remembering that.


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