Lockdown Fatigue

I’ve been under the weather of late. Not firing on all cylinders, less than 100%, below par. It all started a few months ago. I was struggling to run and my times were abysmal, even dog walking was leaving me tired out. Then one day I carried something up a flight of stairs and was panting by the time I reached the top. This from the man who was still running marathons a year ago.

I reluctantly went to see my doctor who carried out some blood tests. They all came back fine, although my cholesterol was slightly higher than normal. His advice? Exercise more. But…er…that’s the problem. I used to exercise all the time and now I’m permanently exhausted. Set me on a comfy chair for any length of time and I will doze off. My children now film me in such undignified positions. I’m even more of a laughing stock than normal.

I thought I had reached that age where I was slowing down but that’s ridiculous. There are people 20 years older running hoops round me. So I’m none the wiser as to what is causing the crushing fatigue. It’s frustrating and humiliating, watching Lycra clad hordes cycle and run past as I plod pathetically after them, hopelessly unable to keep up. Lockdown has seen many get the exercise bug whereas it appears to have deserted me.

I’ll struggle on and hope my body finds it’s mojo again soon. Some have even suggested I’ve long COVID although I never tested positive for it or displayed any symptoms. I’m a medical mystery but at least I can still write. It keeps me busy and maintains my ever-fragile self-belief. I’m just tired and want this lockdown to end. Is that too much to ask? I’ll sign off now for another day of pottering around the house feeling useless.

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

36 thoughts on “Lockdown Fatigue

  1. I would imagine writing can be quite exhausting and draining on your system too. That on top of all the other things that you do may be wearing you down. Perhaps you need a break. I know we all need one right now, after being ‘locked up’ for so long. Whatever, I hope your mojo returns very soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel the same way. I think a large part is my ongoing depression.

    You should be grateful that you’re still on lockdown over there. We’re not here & although many of us have been vaccinated (I’m getting my second shot this coming Monday), our COVID numbers are going back up again. We were never on full lockdown, not ever. Some states are getting rid of the mask mandate already, even though we haven’t gotten our entire population vaccination & never will, since evangelicals insist they will never get vaccinated.

    Hang in there. These are tough times. You’ll be OK. You have a loving wife & family; that’s more than many of us have.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You will be ok. Just hang in there. Just try to get into an exercise routine, even if its wearing your jogging shoes and climbing up the stairs and running down the stairs. at least try to do 5 pushups every other day. All that is required is to do this in a routine. I hope this idea will help you.
    Stay strong!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. People often tell me that exercise increases energy, but like you, I often feel exhausted by it. I walk every day and I have started back at the gym. I only do 30 minutes at the gym. I am hoping the improved weather brings improved stamina.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi there, it does sound a bit like chronic fatigue syndomre and you’re describing my hubby with your symptoms, including the falling aslieep. He gets so frustrated with himself, like you. I hope you find it doesn’t become chronic, but pacing yourself with some small degree of exercise every day might give your body a chance to get going again. Wishing you some more energy soon :>)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. There are a surprising number of people in the same boat — including myself. I finally sought some counseling after having a really big meltdown. That’s when I learned that what we’ve experienced is a situational depression — except that it’s also a normal response given our abnormal situation. I found that some self-compassion went a long way toward feeling better.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Is it possible you are dealing with depression? Constant fatigue, with no general answer, is a major symptom. It’s like you have no interest in doing the things you used to, and it takes incredible effort to move. From what I’ve been reading from you, depression is a worry. ❤️❤️

    I say this as someone who had a major depressive episode from Sept – Feb, and am only now finally able to feel “normal” again.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Stephen, I am so sorry you are still struggling with this. The length of time feeling as you do can be exhausting in itself, especially with no answers forthcoming. I’ve suffered a bit of this myself but fortunately, I have found temporary reprieves by running or talking a long walk filled with lots of deep breaths. These times are so abnormal and the added turbulence we constantly see in the news headlines and in our communities just make it worse. I really empathize with you and do pray that you get to feeling like yourself again soon!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You are not alone.

    Just at Spring Equinox I had a crash and burn – it felt like overwhelm, burn out. I slept ten hours a night and still felt tired and had a two hour nap during the day. Other friends have reported this at other points in Lockdown. My husband is complaining of it this week. A vlogger I follow on YouTube was also noting symptoms – a loss of imagination, motivation.

    Yes, we may all be a tad depressed by the news and being incarcerated in our homes. We miss the variety of life. This Groundhog Day like routine is Lockdown Fatigue. Some academic somewhere is actually plotting it and studying it.

    In the meantime, prop up the five pillars of mental wellness – connect, keep active (this can be reading, any creative activity, gardening, as well as physical exercise), take notice, keep learning and give. I have been asiduous during the past 14 months of keeping them shored up. When I hit the wall the other week I realised that for me, I needed to change my routine. Do something other than write poetry or blog. So I stood out in the sunshine and painted garden furniture for three days instead. It helped. But seeing loved ones and giving hugs will help more. But down here in the south we may be a long time waiting for our vaccinations…in the meantime, prop up the five pillars!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My granddaughter took me to buy spring bulbs and pots, came home and planted them all for me. It was a great pick me up. They are placed around my small apartment and it really is uplifting. It’s very easy to get bogged down during these difficult times.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Useless…yes, I feel it. Tired…thankfully no more now that Springtime and warmer weather has come to Minnesota. I decided, to handle my depressed state of mind these days I am just taking each day to GLORIFY GOD. He give me all I need. Luckily…retired. I play tunes on my piano for HIM…to use my gifts he gave me, even though I am not someone you would find on a stage performing for others. I read my Bible or other books to add to my Bible study. I will go up to sew and “pray” for creativity to come. I don’t know what I am doing still with a website and a store. No one seems to go there…LOL! I no longer take in much sewing, but still some. My kids rarely call…busy with their lives…yet, I consume myself with God’s love and embrace and have conversations with Him all day long and low and behold….I made it through another day. Because of Him I live and breathe. It is for HIS GLORY that I live…not mine. He wants me to be here for a reason, even if I don’t know what it is or why. I think it is because HE SAID SO. It is not for me to ASK or QUESTION it. Just have faith and love Him for His grace.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Might be another physical manifestation of all the fatigue going on around? Hopefully energy levels have improved since the time you wrote this and the time I am responding to it. 🙏

    I know I have times when I lack energy, and everything else seems normal. Eating well, exercising my mind, engaging in conversation, scheduling in walks and other exercise as I’m able. I don’t have the solution, but keep on searching and there will be one.

    Peace to you my friend.

    Like

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