Managing your mental health is a bit like herding cats; a nigh-on impossible task at times. Just when you think you’ve conquered the demons within, they squirm from your grasp liked an oiled pig. It’s a never-ending battle, day after day, hour after hour. Trench warfare where every hard-won yard can be lost again in the blink of an eye. It’s an exhausting, relentless grind and I’ve faced it head-on in recent weeks.
My OCD has been niggling at the fringes of my consciousness, snarling and snapping at my internal defences. I’m attributing the flare-up to a recent new role at work, where I’m feeling my away along, coming to terms with unfamiliar processes and procedures. It’s when I’m outside my comfort zone I’m at my most vulnerable, where obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions threaten to overwhelm me. The fear is back.
I’m fighting it and doing everything I can to regain the upper hand. I take my medication and share my anxieties with Fionnuala, the one person who truly understands me and what I go through. It’s a dip, a dark valley I have to traverse but I’m hopeful I can make it to the other side unscathed. I’ve done it before and I know I have what it takes to do it again. This blog post is part of the cathartic cleansing required to root the rancid remnants from within me.
If you’re struggling today and you’re reading this, then know that you’re not alone. The hidden monster can pounce at any time and none of us are immune to its waspish words. It’s okay to be not okay. A cliche, I know, but a rock-solid truth all the same. Your mental health is precious, never take it for granted. If you’re adrift and need help then don’t be too proud to ask for it. We all will one day. None of us can let our guard down.