The Brain Fog

Sometimes I have so much to do that I literally don’t know where to start. The brain fog descends and a paralysing inertia grips me. I stare at the long list of tasks in front of me and the urge to bury my head in the sand and do nothing is near overwhelming. It’s daunting, intimidating, and verging on the impossible. It’s at times like this that I need to focus on the next step and nothing else. Never mind the summit of the mountain so many miles away.

I’ve been finding that recently with both my day job writing and creative writing. There are never enough hours in the day and I find myself putting it in the ‘too difficult’ tray, hoping it will sort itself out with a flourish of a magic wand. Of course, when I look again the work is still there, stubbornly staring me in the face with a foul attitude to boot. I’m stretched so thin I sometimes feel like an elastic band about to snap and go flying across the room and out the window, never to be seen again.

It’s easy to lose your bearings when the brain fog comes down. You wander off your chosen path and, before you know it, are stumbling about in ever decreasing circles. Everything is strange and the disassociated feeling as you slowly unravel has an eerie context to it. It’s like watching yourself dither and fall apart from afar. You will your alter ego to snap back into the real world but the grey blanket of confusion reigns supreme, sweeping aside all who dare stray across its path.

At times like this, it’s often because I’ve neglected my medication for a few days. It’s not deliberate, I just tend to overlook the simplest of tasks that takes up about 30 seconds of my day. There’s no excuse for not popping the pill and I think no big idea but, within days, the brain fog has descended and I’m irritable and on edge. I find it difficult to focus on anything. I’m adrift, untethered, flailing in the dark as priorities float by, beyond my desperate grasp.

It’s taken me so long even to string together these few badly written paragraphs. But it’s part of hauling my way back to the surface, a job ticked off the ‘to-do list.’ OCD loves to wreak havoc, ripping to shreds the best made plans. It takes a person to the brink and whispers for them to take that extra step out into the blissful nothingness of the abyss. No more worries then. Embrace the fog, turn your back on responsibility and routine. Never to be seen again.

Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

22 thoughts on “The Brain Fog

  1. Sometimes I tell myself I’ll just give a task 5 or maybe 10 minutes time, especially a particularly objectionable one; I often stick to that timetable but sometimes I’m able to go on longer. Regardless, I feel better knowing it wasn’t a total loss. Feel better soon!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I completely here you. I am glad you are pulling yourself back up. I am certain you’ve thought of little tricks, but I have to put my meds sitting right on top of my toothbrush holder so I literally have to move them to brush my teeth. The other ones I put in front of my coffee pot so, again, to get coffee, I have to touch the pill bottle. If I am too lazy to take it then, its on me. Anyway, maybe something that might help. Happy writing!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Without my calendar & my daily list on my clipboard, which is on the wall over my desk, I would never get anything done. I live by my lists. With the Thanksgiving holiday in less than two weeks & my son coming home from the Army on leave & bringing his new girlfriend & having invited some of his friends for dinner, now the list-making has gone into overdrive!!! Still … I find time to write every single day!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been stuck in the FOG for months, well, actually, a bit over two years and I think that I am finding my way out. My life had taken so many hits and ricochets that I was actually beginning to wonder about my mental capacity. Hey!! At my age, one does tend to question things like that.

    Long story short, got back on my meds and my son came home from his two year adventure in Mississippi – so, things have come full circle and I’m starting to feel more like myself. Good luck to you and I hope that you’re feeling better.

    Like

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