I’m Useless, How About You?

I have a confession to make, WordPress. Brace yourself for I have been hiding a terrible secret all these years that I now feel compelled to bring into the light. This revelation might disappoint some of you, horrify others, but I can conceal it no more. So prepare yourself as the truth is finally know. I’m a grown man and I can’t click my fingers. There, I’ve said it. Please don’t judge. Or worse still, unfollow me.

Believe me, I’ve tried. But nothing works. I felt such a failure, a fraud walking the streets all day with this dark cloud of shame and guilt hanging over me. But now that burden has been lifted, the truth is finally out there, and I am free. I first broke the news on Twitter last night and was astonished by the response. For here’s the thing. Lots of other people can’t click their fingers either. To the point where I’m actually considering setting up a support group.

And what’s more, people can’t do a lot of other stuff either. My tweet released a flood of ineptitude and failure. People can’t whistle, they can’t wink, they can’t even ride a darned bicycle. The list was endless and it beggars belief that we have evolved as a species to where we are today while a significant number of us cannot waggle our eyebrows simultaneously or boil an egg without burning the kitchen down. Never mind climate change or COVID for I have unearthed a MONSTER!

I jest. Kind of. There is no shame in not being able to acquire a skill or talent. I’ve managed fairly well so far as I’ve traversed the trials and tribulations of life without the ability to make noises with my hands. Although, I can clap. Just about. Plus, life would be incredibly dull if we were all brilliant at everything we decided to give a go. There is glory and diversity to be found in abject failure. Success is a fleeting, relative, and subjective phenomena at the best of times.

Being an incompetent fool should not stand in the way of you being able to make something of your life. And it doesn’t. Don’t believe me? Then just look at 99% of the charlatans who run our countries. They get by on copious amounts of bluff and bluster, bare-faced lying, and only a minuscule modicum of ability. So if they can do it, then there’s absolutely no reason why the rest of us can’t as well. It’s high time the inmates took over the asylum.

If nothing else, my tweet taught me that I’m not alone. None of us are experts at everything we turn our hands to: failing at stuff helps define who we are. We adapt and improvise, we overcome. It also magnifies our successes and achievements. The buzz of getting something right when you have gotten everything else wrong is surely worth all the anguish and pain that precedes it. There is method in our madness.

Let’s also focus on what we can do, as opposed to the other side of the coin. Sometimes we fail to see the wood for all the fallen trees cluttering our view. I know I do, for I’m always prone to self-pity and navel-gazing. I’m a glass half empty guy at best, and normally more like quarter-full. We need to celebrate and be proud of our strengths and talents, not toss them out of the pram because we’re not world beaters at juggling fiery batons while guiding a unicycle across Niagara Falls on a greased tightrope.

I hope this post has been of some use to you. The world of social media can be a bleak and lonely place. Many of us, myself included, fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others, and invariably feeling second-best. So today, at least, don’t do that. Everybody has worth and value. Let’s focus on that and find comfort and consolation in it. Even if clicking your fingers remains a bridge too far. There are many other bridges to cross.


Published by Fractured Faith Blog

We are Stephen and Fionnuala and this is our story. We live in Northern Ireland, have been married for 17 years and have three kids - Adam, Hannah and Rebecca. We hope that our story will inspire and encourage others. We have walked a rocky road yet here we are today, together and stronger than ever. We are far from perfect and our faith has been battered and bruised. But an untested faith is a pointless faith. Just as a fractured faith is better than none at all. We hope you enjoy the blog.

43 thoughts on “I’m Useless, How About You?

  1. I tried and can click my fingers feebly BUT I cannot use my mobile phone with both hands and all fingers. I can only hold it in one hand and use a dibber or my little finger to do one letter at a time! When I was young and a tomboy I wanted to be able to whistle like those boys and men who put their fingers in their mouths and let out a high pitched shriek that travelled for miles. Does anyone still whistle like that?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Come on. You’re definitely not alone. There is no such thing as perfect. The perfection limit are made by us humans. But in real- everyone is different and have different capabilities. So, we can say everyone is imperfect yet perfect. Never underestimate who you are.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Great post! Thank you for providing that needed word of comfort. I’m sure many others needed to hear that as much as I did. When you started your confessional, I worried for a moment that you were going to tell us that you clap on beats 1 and 3 or something equally horrifying. That, sir, would have been a bridge too far. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore. I mean, in a completely online environment like this, don’t you know how important a talent snapping (US term) your fingers is?

    On the optimistic topic, what’s an odd talent you do have?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. well—argh! I just tried. my right hand sort of. ha
    and I cannot touch my nose with my tongue!! can you?? I know two people who can-I birthed one and my sibling married one!

    All joking aside, Your message is a good one!!


  6. The world is lovely with its sunrises and sunsets, puppies, kittens, newborn babies, storms, and calm seas. The social media is not real. . .it will make us sad and feel inadequate if we use it to compare ourselves to others in the world. Turn off the noise and the expectations and just love the life you have and those who love you-No, you’re not an incompetent fool. I know you’re just writing for dramatic/comedic affect, but. . .this life is so precious. . .Have a blessed week. . .


  7. Hear hear! Love this post, and the way you’ve used humor to make the point that we all have talents. We also have the ability to practice things we want to, to get better, and leave behind the things that it didn’t matter whether we can do them out not.

    Peace to you my friend, and all your blessed unclickingness!


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