demons – Black Thoughts

There Is A Voice Inside Me

There is a voice inside me that tells me I’m no good. It tells me I’ve never been and I never will be. It’s always there. Sometimes as a barely perceptible whisper, other times a deafening, all-consuming roar. But it’s there. It always has been, no mater what I say or do. It’s part ofContinue reading “There Is A Voice Inside Me”

Talking To Demons

When the demons talk it’s important that you also talk. Not to them, for that feeds their fury, but to those around who are willing to listen and support you through these awful times. For years I tried to fight back, waging a lone battle against the incessant, draining voice in my head that soughtContinue reading “Talking To Demons”

History Is Written By The Winners

When my OCD was at its worst I was a slave to my own thoughts. They controlled me from when I opened my eyes in the morning until last thing at night. The obsessive thought would settle like a toxic dew and only lift temporarily whenever I completed the corresponding compulsive act. This normally involvedContinue reading “History Is Written By The Winners”

Ghosts From The Past

When I was aged around 12 I developed a facial twitch. The severity and frequency of this twitch would depend upon my anxiety levels at any given moment. I was a painfully shy and insecure young boy so it will come as no surprise that I was bullied at school about this by my peers.Continue reading “Ghosts From The Past”

For All Demons Bleed….

It’s all about me. I’m selfish you see. So vain and conceited, it’s all about me. I fight the urge, this endless dirge, the need to purge myself of me. My needs. They feed my brain. They inflict pain. I smother others with my greed. It sows the seeds which grow the roots which, whenContinue reading “For All Demons Bleed….”

I’m Walking On The Air

The marathon is now only 18 days away and I had my final long run on Saturday. 21 miles on a dry, sunny and still morning. Ideal running conditions. I can handle rain but the wind is an enemy of the runner. It can wreak havoc with the best laid pacing plans. I set offContinue reading “I’m Walking On The Air”

The Demon

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder more commonly known as OCD. It is a recognised mental illness often diagnosed alongside anxiety and depression. I call them the Unholy Trinity. Looking back I have had it, in some form or another, for most of my life although it was at its worst in my mid to lateContinue reading “The Demon “