Good Morning from a chilly Northern Ireland. A particularly chilly Northern Ireland as our heating boiler packed in earlier this week, meaning we’ve been slowly freezing to death, huddled around electric radiators and under mountains of blankets. We’ve been waddling around like Eskimos in multiple layers as the gales howled outside. The highlight of theContinue reading “What If Jesus Was A Plumber?”
Tag Archives: drugs
Better Times Ahead?
It’s been a busy, busy week and I’ve been in the office battling to make a deadline that was thrust upon me at the 11th hour. Thankfully I made it but something has had to give so my blogging schedule has sadly gone awry. I don’t like neglecting the WordPress community as it’s where IContinue reading “Better Times Ahead?”
Good Morning From Northern Ireland
Good Morning from Northern Ireland. These are the words I always start my day with on Twitter so I thought, why not start doing the same on WordPress. It’s a great way to initiate conversations and create new online friendships. You get to meet folk from all corners of the world and learn more aboutContinue reading “Good Morning From Northern Ireland”
Breathe Kindness Into The Lives Of Others
Whenever I’m doubting myself, something or someone tends to come along to bolster my crumbling confidence. Take this morning for example. A review landed on my Twitter feed at just the right time, cheering me up no end. Words like these are oxygen to a writer, they erase the doubting voice that is a frequentContinue reading “Breathe Kindness Into The Lives Of Others”
Wear A Mask
Wear a mask people!
Today I Wrote
The alarm woke me this morning at 05:20, or rather the snooze function after I had ignored the initial 05:15 summons. I stumbled out of bed and into my running gear, determined to keep to my promise to run before work, where possible. As I said yesterday, not that most pleasant prospect but an essentialContinue reading “Today I Wrote”
Let The Pain Drive You On
There is always a reason for pain, be it physical or mental. It doesn’t just magically pop out of the ether, determined to ruin your day, year or life. There is a cause, something lurking behind. It can be anything – a pulled muscle, strained ligament or faltering organ. That’s the physical side of it,Continue reading “Let The Pain Drive You On”
OCD – The Silent Killer
I have OCD and I’m not in control. There, I’ve said it, that wasn’t so hard was it? Even a few years ago, I would have veered clear of ‘outing’ myself and identifying with the mental illness. It was embarrassing, shameful and humiliating. But the longer I’ve walked this path, I’ve realised I have aContinue reading “OCD – The Silent Killer”
Don’t Suffer In Silence
I fear I’m getting old. For everything hurts. A lot. Take last Saturday for example. I bent over in the kitchen to put some rubbish in the bin, only to discover I couldn’t stand up straight again. A sharp pain in the base of my back ensured that. Hobbling over to a nearby chair myContinue reading “Don’t Suffer In Silence”
Signs Of Life
I’m not saying life in lockdown is dull. For if I did then I’m sure Fionnuala could find plenty of household chores to occupy my time. But the days do tend to drag. I had to ask this morning what day of the week it was. By necessity, we find ourselves staring out of ourContinue reading “Signs Of Life”
Why Did God Create Covidiots?
This pandemic has certainly brought out the best and worst in humanity. There have been incredible displays of bravery, kindness and selflessness. Communities have come together as never before, neighbours helping each other when previously they were barely on nodding terms. We have become more considerate and caring. Rifts have been sealed, feuds forgotten andContinue reading “Why Did God Create Covidiots?”
Nothing Is Normal Anymore
What would we do without Netflix? That’s been the joyous cry from many households in recent months as millions have battled through the lockdown experience by binging on their favourite movies and TV shows. Old favourites, new gems and those series you’ve always meant to finish but never quite had the time. Time is allContinue reading “Nothing Is Normal Anymore”
Social Media Blackout
See you all tomorrow.
Happy Birthday Fractured Faith
Seems like no time but the blog is now three years old. That’s a lot of posts. Some of you have been there from the start, some have joined along the journey, others have disappeared into the ether. We are grateful for everyone who continues to read and comment. As long as that continues IContinue reading “Happy Birthday Fractured Faith”
Should I Blog More?
Eight miles yesterday, out to the shores of Lough Neagh and back. The sun continues to shine in Northern Ireland although a cool breeze was most welcome on the return journey. The country roads were quiet apart from the occasional fellow runner, cyclist or dog walker. Dogs must be loving lockdown, they’ve never been walkedContinue reading “Should I Blog More?”
Painting Away The Pain
I was on painting duties in the bedroom today, as our enforced home improvement programme continued. Fionnuala had chosen a lovely shade of dark blue and my job was to paint an awkward high section of the wall behind our wardrobes. My DIY skills are ‘limited’ to say the least so I approached the taskContinue reading “Painting Away The Pain”
Toxic Positivity – What Is It?
I stumbled across this image earlier on Facebook and it got me thinking; or rather accelerated something I had already been mulling over in my head. It was a hammer that nailed a series of loose thoughts into a cogent steam. Toxic positivity. It exists, it’s a real thing, not just the product of myContinue reading “Toxic Positivity – What Is It?”
Are You Weird?
Yes, I’m weird, I’m awkward, I’m a geek, but I’m me. I spent a large part of my life trying to be somebody else, trying to fit in, to please people. It didn’t get me anywhere. You can’t force people to like you any more than you can control the tides. It took me aContinue reading “Are You Weird?”
What Mental Illness Looks Like
I think I’ve ticked every one of these boxes at some point in my life but, thankfully, not for a while now. But I’ve been there and I know I could return there, we all could. Nobody is immune from mental illness, we are all vulnerable and few will live their lives untouched by it.Continue reading “What Mental Illness Looks Like”
Walk Away
No words needed. Walk away.
Is Your Future Exciting?
I woke up this morning and groaned as I faced another wet and windy Monday morning. But after the initial shock I realised I’m incredibly fortunate and have so much to look forward to in the coming days, weeks and months. My default setting is ‘glass half empty’ but I’m making a real effort nowContinue reading “Is Your Future Exciting?”
Care Enough To Look
No words needed. People with mental illnesses may not have broken bones but they have broken dreams, broken minds and broken hearts. Their illnesses may be invisible but the signs are there if you take the time to look for them. The onus is on you to reach out to them, not for them toContinue reading “Care Enough To Look”
Don’t Be Afraid To Start Over
When I started this blog, I started all over again. Turned my back on the past and threw my energy into new passions. Almost three years later, I’ve published two books and completed a third. I’m training for my tenth marathon and been promoted at work. I’ve living the happiest & healthiest life I can.Continue reading “Don’t Be Afraid To Start Over”
The Right Ones Will Always Stay
Good Morning WordPress. A short word today. It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but learn it I did. Have you?
I Am A Man….
You may or may not know this, but I am a man. A supposedly fully grown, mature one at that, although my family may beg to differ. Yet, for years, I neglected my mental health to the point where it was having a detrimental effect not only on myself but also those around me. ItContinue reading “I Am A Man….”
RIP Kobe Bryant
Rock Bottom
I’ve been to rock bottom. It’s not a nice place. I never want to go back there. But it’s made me who I am today and inspired me to push on for fear of stumbling back down into the pit. The knowledge of rock bottom keeps me honest and humble whenever I feel I’m gettingContinue reading “Rock Bottom”
Today I Choose Me
Today I choose not to fail. Not to give in. Not to listen to the voice. Today I choose me.
It’s Ok Not To Be Ok
Good Morning WordPress. If you’re struggling today, then please be brave and speak to someone about it. Don’t be ashamed. Protect your mental health. It’s your wealth.
Here’s To The Survivors
Sometimes maintaining the status quo is a massive achievement in itself. Getting by is all you can manage, keeping your head above water and surviving your current circumstances. It might not seem like much but holding tight and not letting go is a feat to be admired and respected. You need to clear the groundContinue reading “Here’s To The Survivors”
Happy World Introvert Day
It’s World Introvert Day. I never knew such a day existed until it popped up on my Facebook feed this morning. Who decides these days? Is there a committee somewhere locked away in a conference room debating such important matters? I can only assume there’s also a World Extrovert Day, no doubt shouted from theContinue reading “Happy World Introvert Day”
Thank you
Another very encouraging review from fellow blogger, Lesley. Thank you very much for so eloquently capturing the essence of Skelly’s Square. I tried hard to address very serious and real issues against a supernatural backdrop liberally smattered with action and humour. The book continues to attract positive feedback while promoting mental health, disability, addiction andContinue reading “Thank you”
Fractured Faith. 12,000 Not Out.
We finally hit 12,000 followers earlier today. It seems like forever since we passed 11,000 which I believe is down to a number of factors. Primarily I haven’t been blogging as frequently and, when I have, they have been much shorter posts. There are only so many hours in the day and I’ve been prioritisingContinue reading “Fractured Faith. 12,000 Not Out.”
Who Is Your Lighthouse?
It was a murky lunchtime run today which highlighted the lighthouse exhibit on Belfast Lough. I focused on it from some distance away and it inspired me to keep pressing forward through the blustery, wet conditions. Most other days I would have run past it without a second thought but it was there for meContinue reading “Who Is Your Lighthouse?”
I’ve Had An Anxious Week
I’ve had an anxious few days worrying about work related matters. It started towards the tail end of last week and preyed on my mind over the weekend, before descending again from on high like a hungry vulture on Monday morning. Various unwanted thoughts have spun a not so merry dance around my head despiteContinue reading “I’ve Had An Anxious Week”
5 Things To Quit Right Now
I’ve been guilty of all five and can confirm they are all counter productive and highly negative behavioural patterns. Today I choose to change and walk a different path. A path that leads upwards, out of the abyss. It is possible but it’s a conscious decision we must make every day of our own volition.Continue reading “5 Things To Quit Right Now”
If I Hadn’t Seen Such Riches I Could Live With Being Poor
Today I woke up tired. I’m a middle aged father of three teenage kids. It’s what I do. Today I woke up sore. I’m training for a marathon next year. My tenth no less. At the minutes this necessitate 30 mile weeks. My knee hurts. My back hurts. I’m sore. Today I woke up withoutContinue reading “If I Hadn’t Seen Such Riches I Could Live With Being Poor”
Fractured Faith Is 1000 Posts Old
Today marked our 1000th post on Fractured Faith. We started the blog back in May 2017 and, back then, had no idea what to expect. Fionnuala encouraged me to share my writing with the online world as both a form of personal therapy and to encourage others that there is always hope, no matter howContinue reading “Fractured Faith Is 1000 Posts Old”
Meet My Hero
I have never fainted in my life but the nearest I ever came was at the 20 week scan for our second child when we were informed the baby had Spina Bifida. I’m not sure of the sequence of events but I ended up lying flat on the bed being tended to by medical staffContinue reading “Meet My Hero”
Never Forget
Never, ever forget….
Sasha
I first met Sasha about a year ago, crumpled in a corner on a city centre street. She struck such a pathetic picture that I couldn’t walk past her and stopped to offer some help. We got talking and I see her most weeks now at various locations about the ‘town’ as Belfast folk referContinue reading “Sasha”
How Is Your Mental Health Today?
I periodically revisit regular questions on the blog and this is one very close to my heart. It’s a topic I feel we are often too frightened or embarrassed to talk about, we duck the issue or brush it under the carpet for another day. We are all too quick to share our physical achesContinue reading “How Is Your Mental Health Today?”
Support World Suicide Prevention Day
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Every 40 seconds a person chooses to take their own life. All life is precious and every suicide is preventable. The problem is as prevalent and relevant in Northern Ireland, where I live, but it also affects your community. Many of us feel powerless against suicide but we canContinue reading “Support World Suicide Prevention Day”
We Are Here For You
Excited as I was last month at the continued growth of the blog, I was even more thrilled yesterday to realise we had broken our monthly views figure again in August. With a day to spare, no less. Yes, 14,000 of you clicked the view button on a FracturedFaithBlog post. Or maybe 7 of youContinue reading “We Are Here For You”
There Is Always Hope
Being a total dork, I was studying our WordPress stats the other day and discovered the blog recently passed 200,000 views since its creation just over two years ago. Wow! And I’ll say that again. Wow! I still remember nervously tapping out my first post, ‘The Bag Lady,’ before hitting the publish button and sendingContinue reading “There Is Always Hope”
We Need Your Feedback
The blog passed 11,000 followers the other day and it’s growth continues to amaze and delight me. I don’t know why people keep coming back to view, like and comment but I’m forever grateful. At each milestone, I like to ask you guys what you want from the blog in the future. As well as,Continue reading “We Need Your Feedback”
Death Of A Jane Doe
Belfast. A Friday afternoon in sunny June. Afternoon revellers gather at the end of a busy day to unwind and start the weekend in style. A blues band play in the packed beer garden, the singer’s gravelly tones drifting across the square, backed by a guitar which reverberates through your very marrow. The Guinness isContinue reading “Death Of A Jane Doe”
Reasons to Stay Alive #1
I’ve just finished reading ‘Reasons To Stay Alive,’ by Matt Haig . It is a shocking, raw, yet ultimately uplifting account of his lifelong battle with depression and anxiety. I devoured it in two days and took a lot of learning away from it. I would encourage anyone with mental health issues to pick upContinue reading “Reasons to Stay Alive #1”
The Enemy Within
The Olympic Flame goes out more than Fionnuala and I. It’s the joy of having three hatchlings which are a constant strain on our time and finances. Even when we do have an opportunity we are normally incapable of doing much more than slumping on the sofa and getting caught up on our favourite TVContinue reading “The Enemy Within”
Man Vomits Casually Outside Bar
Catchy title, huh? But there I was, hurrying through the city centre to catch my train home when I beheld this wondrous sight. A very respectable looking middle aged man, standing outside a bar smoking a cigarette and checking his phone messages. Nothing to see here, folks. Perfectly normal. Next thing, however, he casually leansContinue reading “Man Vomits Casually Outside Bar”
What Is Your Worst Habit?
Yesterday I wrote about my ongoing querying of literary agents and how researching their backgrounds prior to submitting your manuscript to them, is the acceptable face of online stalking. It was a tongue in cheek piece, as most of my writing is, but there was a serious message wrapped up inside the frivolity. That being,Continue reading “What Is Your Worst Habit?”
Are You Alone? Then Read This
I joined Twitter a couple of months ago to promote my (currently) non existent writing career. I used to be a bit of a whizz on Twitter back in the day. I held court on it and waxed lyrical to my army of adoring followers. My dry, yet achingly witty and intelligent, tweets won meContinue reading “Are You Alone? Then Read This”
I Have An Obsessive Personality
I have an obsessive personality. Regular readers will know this anyway. It’s an aspect of my OCD which I have struggled with for the majority of my adult life. I don’t do things by half. When I develop a new interest or passion I must push it to the nth degree, to the point whereContinue reading “I Have An Obsessive Personality”
A Sneak Peek For You All
A little book update for you all this morning. For it is morning in not so sunny Northern Ireland. Regular readers will know that I forwarded the 6th draft of ‘The Kirkwood Scott Chronicles – Skelly’s Square’ to my editor, Laura, before Christmas. She had the audacity to take a break over the festive periodContinue reading “A Sneak Peek For You All”
Homeless Jesus
Soooooo….. I was out for my lunchtime run today, when I was literally stopped in my tracks by a new addition to the Belfast landscape. Outside a homeless centre I regularly run past, was a statue. At first glance, it appears fairly unremarkable. It’s a bronze sculpture of a man lying beneath a blanket onContinue reading “Homeless Jesus”
Where Is The God Of My Father?
Where is the God of my Father Who rescued the lame and the blind? Where is the God of my Father Who poured healing oil on my mind? Kill the will Take the pill Numb the thrill Make me still. Synaptic relapse Serotonin collapse Raging impasse Stifling morass. So taste the drill Run the millContinue reading “Where Is The God Of My Father?”
I Am Sic
I am sic Nervous tic Binge and purge This endless urge. Odd Erroneous Out of place Unworthy of the human race. Worthy of comment Worthless, I vomit Bird in a cage From the rope I will plummet. Dead to his Word Alive to their world Baptised in blood Yet drowned in the flood. No peaceContinue reading “I Am Sic”
What Are You Hungry For?
Saturday was the start of the new rugby season, so Fionnuala and I hugged the touchline, to watch Adam play for his college against one of the big Belfast schools. Unfortunately they lost, but didn’t go down without a fight. Adam had a great game and scored his team’s only try. I thought he wasContinue reading “What Are You Hungry For?”
I Told You So….
Don’t you hate it when people say that? They always look unspeakably smug and the urge to scream in their faces is almost irresistible. We don’t like being told we are wrong, even more so admitting that we were. Pride is a bitter pill to swallow, even when it has been sugar coated and giftContinue reading “I Told You So….”
Waking Up Hungover When I Haven’t Been Drinking
Last night, after dinner, Adam and I went to the park to work on his rugby skills. The new season is less than three weeks away and he is pushing for a place in the first team this season where he would be playing against boys two years older than him. I say boys butContinue reading “Waking Up Hungover When I Haven’t Been Drinking”
Hands Up If You’re Tired?
Hands up who’s tired? I imagine quite a few of you now are staring at your screens feeling a little awkward that you have a hand in the air at the request of some random guy from Northern Ireland. But don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to simultaneously pat your head and rubContinue reading “Hands Up If You’re Tired?”
Make Every Blog Count
The deeper I immerse myself in the book I am currently writing the more concerned I become about the quality of my blogging. I worry that I’ll only be able to make so many trips to the literary well before it runs dry and I am left bereft of ideas and words to pour outContinue reading “Make Every Blog Count”
I ‘Forgot’ To Take My Meds
Last week I ran out of the medication which I take for OCD. 20mg of Escitaloprem has kept me on an even keel these last six years or so. One of them a day and Stephen is content. They prevent the slavering, starving wolf that is OCD from clawing at my front door and blowingContinue reading “I ‘Forgot’ To Take My Meds”
385 Yards To Go
I wrote the other day about the comparisons between marathon running and writing a novel. Both are wars of attrition and many drop by the wayside, battered and beaten. Both culminate in glory and accolades but the path to the finish line is strewn with the collateral damage of the occupation; for every war hasContinue reading “385 Yards To Go”
Welcome to Mulberry Square
Just thought I’d share some images of Bank Street, off Belfast City Centre, I took yesterday. This is my inspiration for the fictional location of Mulberry Square which is the backdrop for several of the key scenes in the novel I am currently working on – tentatively titled ‘The Kirkwood Scott Chronicles: Part One –Continue reading “Welcome to Mulberry Square”
Why Do Good Blogs Go Bad?
Have you ever poured your heart and soul into a blog only for it to sink without trace amidst the plethora of competing posts that flood your timeline? It’s disheartening isn’t it? You stare at your pride and joy and try to process how 99% of your followers haven’t the slightest interest in this latestContinue reading “Why Do Good Blogs Go Bad?”
What Do You Wish You Had Written About Today?
People often compliment me on my honest writing style. They ask me how do I do it as they could never be that open and upfront about their lives. They use words like ‘refreshing’ which I like as honesty is a refreshing attribute in today’s world. I’m not talking about liars here but, rather, peopleContinue reading “What Do You Wish You Had Written About Today?”
The Kirkwood Scott Chronicles: Part One – Skelly’s Square (An Update)
The second edit is complete, weighing in at a whopping 113K words. Since then I’ve done very little on it partly due to other commitments and partly because, well, the writing well was fairly empty. I had a very productive 3-4 weeks where I rattled through the draft tweaking and amending it to my heartsContinue reading “The Kirkwood Scott Chronicles: Part One – Skelly’s Square (An Update)”
Thank You
This is not intended as a self indulgent or ‘look at me’ post. But we reached 6000 followers yesterday on the blog and wanted to say thank you to everyone who has contributed towards us reaching this milestone. Fionnuala and I are very grateful for the continued support, encouragement and love that you send ourContinue reading “Thank You”
Book Title Reveal – Part 2
Earlier today I shared the title of the book I have been working on since last August. I’ve almost completed the second draft of it. It’s weighing in at a whopping 120K words at present. I also said I would share some of the Belfast locations which have inspired me and which feature in theContinue reading “Book Title Reveal – Part 2”
Book Title Reveal – Part 1
Good Morning. It’s the hottest day of the year so far in Northern Ireland with temperatures pushing 30 degrees celsius. How our pasty bodies are going to cope I have no idea but I thought I’d make the most of the beautiful weather to showcase some of the city scenes that have inspired me forContinue reading “Book Title Reveal – Part 1”
Lunchtime In Belfast
So it’s Monday lunchtime and I’m sitting outside the office in the square basking in the warm sunshine. They are predicting a heatwave this week and word has it that Thursday could be the hottest day on record in Northern Ireland. Like ever! All around me office workers are sitting eating their lunches while touristsContinue reading “Lunchtime In Belfast”
The Secret Of My Excess
When it comes to weaknesses, ice cream has to feature fairly high on my list. My favourite is Maude’s Pooh Bear honeycomb flavour. Plonk a large bowl of that good stuff down in front of me and I’m one happy camper. I could eat it until the cows come home and probably keep going untilContinue reading “The Secret Of My Excess”
Isn’t It Time You Moved On?
I wasn’t really in the mood to work on the book last night. It had been a long day and I was tired. I forced myself, however, to open my laptop and start editing. The chapter in question was one of the first I had written, some six months ago. I knew it would needContinue reading “Isn’t It Time You Moved On?”
What Are You Afraid To Blog About Today?
Whenever I scan my WordPress timeline I see a lot of courage. I see broken people talking honestly about their experiences. I see them being open about their flaws and weaknesses. I see a community supporting and encouraging one another through the healing process, one faltering step at at time. I see second, third andContinue reading “What Are You Afraid To Blog About Today?”
How Was Your Life Before WordPress?
I used to be a closed book. I would bottle emotions up inside me and share nothing with nobody. I prided myself on keeping a stiff upper lip. When I lost my father to prostate cancer I cried just the once, at his bedside during those last eerie moments before he slipped away from us.Continue reading “How Was Your Life Before WordPress?”
The Familiar
I woke before five this morning. It has been a long, hard week of on call duties so you would have thought the weekend would be a time to relax and unwind; to catch up on those lost hours of sleep. Not a bit of it. So here I am writing this post before IContinue reading “The Familiar”
On Call 24/7/365
I go on on call this morning for the next seven days. On a meh scale of 1-10 this scores a 47.757 in my book but unfortunately it’s part of the job and, to be fair, I do get paid well for it. That doesn’t make it any less of a pain, however. Extra pressure,Continue reading “On Call 24/7/365”
Don’t Press That Button
There is a scene in The Simpsons where Homer finds himself facing a big red button with a large ‘Do Not Touch’ sign above it. You can see his tiny brain wrestling with temptation before he finally cracks and presses the button. Predictably enough, all hell breaks loose. DOH! Homer once again proves himself toContinue reading “Don’t Press That Button”
Morior Invictus
The paths of the dead Are where we must tread To vanquish the demons Who reign in our head Death itches and twitches Denying us riches Our God given right Morior Invictus Yet I fear it not For X marks the spot New treasures revealed And an end to the rot.
It Isn’t In Our Blood
Help me It feels like the walls are caving in No medicine is strong enough Someone help me Feel like I’m crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can’t It isn’t in my blood. Not the words of Stephen Black, average blogger and wannabe author. No, they were writtenContinue reading “It Isn’t In Our Blood”
How To UnSubscribe From A Toxic Relationship
I am notoriously bad at keeping on top of my e-mails. Yesterday I checked my personal account and discovered, to my horror, that I had over 3000 unopened e-mails. Of these I would estimate that 2985 of them were junk that, if I never ever read, I would still die a happy man. My accountContinue reading “How To UnSubscribe From A Toxic Relationship”
I’m So Close My Brain Hurts
These last few days I’ve been diligently chipping away at the final chapters of my novel. I finished the ‘big finale’ chapter yesterday and now I’m penning the fallout from that. This includes the impact that recent revelations have had on my central characters in addition to tying up bothersome loose ends plot wise andContinue reading “I’m So Close My Brain Hurts”
Why Do You Write?
Why do I bother? Why do I write? Why do I struggle with words every night? To convince all the wronged The despised and forlorn That they’re not alone and can survive the scorn. So I’m penning a story Of hope and redemption I’m screaming it loud so I’ll get your attention. You click andContinue reading “Why Do You Write?”
I’m Writing A Book….Still
It’s been a quiet week on the novel writing front due to weddings, marathons and life in general. As ever this has raised my anxiety levels but I realise there are only so many hours in the day and I need to sleep at some point. I’m currently working on the final climactic chapters ofContinue reading “I’m Writing A Book….Still”
The Vultures Are Circling
Life can seem pretty perfect at times. Everything is trundling along just as it should be and we are enveloped in the comforting glow of permanent sunshine. We are in love and loved. We are healthy and bursting with positivity for the future. We have big plans and bigger dreams. Our family form a protectiveContinue reading “The Vultures Are Circling”
I’m Broken. Are You?
I’m broken. There I’ve said it. I’m in bits. And you know what. I’ve never felt so good. Why you may ask? Have you finally lost the plot, Stephen, and floated off to the land of fairies and pixie dust? Possibly but let me explain. Then if you still think I’ve lost my senses I’llContinue reading “I’m Broken. Are You?”
If Love Is A Mist….
If love is a mist Then I must persist For cords of affliction And wisps of addiction Are flogging my faith on a rack of derision. The demons are screaming Stop me from believing Oozing lies, succubi Leave me battered and bleeding. Their hunger is fed On the paths of the dead As my starved,Continue reading “If Love Is A Mist….”
Embracing Anxiety
Today is the day of my last long run before the Belfast Marathon in just over two weeks time. I’ve worked out my route and hydration strategy; I’ve decided what gear I’m going to wear; the weather is dry and mild. Now it is just a matter of going out and doing it. I knowContinue reading “Embracing Anxiety”
Binge
Sometimes a word settles in my mind and refuses to budge. I suppose that’s the joy of writing. We get obsessed with words. They are our tools, the vehicles or medium through which we communicate our thoughts to the outside world. It’s my birthday at the end of the month (please no need for presents)Continue reading “Binge”
Swallow Your Pride. Swallow The Pill.
I have felt my mood spiralling steadily downwards throughout the week. This has trickled into my writing which has been largely negative and downbeat. I don’t apologise for this as I have always said I would write honestly on this blog. Those who choose to read it see the good, the bad and the frequentlyContinue reading “Swallow Your Pride. Swallow The Pill.”
For It Was Written Long Before You
I wear my heart upon my sleeve. Pick at the stitches, watch it bleed. I thought it contained all my needs. Yet I was wrong, so wrong and now. I watch the scarlet droplets one by one. Communion wine upon my tongue. The acrid fumes they fill my lungs. And I am done. I’m doneContinue reading “For It Was Written Long Before You”
My Big Fat Irish Black Toenail
Half Marathons are great fun. You pay the organisers £27 for the privilege of running for nearly two hours whereupon you end up a big, aching, sweaty mess. At the end you queue ten minutes with hundreds of other aching, sweaty messes for a banana, chocolate bar and bottle of orange juice. I’m off chocolateContinue reading “My Big Fat Irish Black Toenail”
What Is Your Worst Habit?
Fionnuala often affectionately tells me (at least I hope it is affectionate. Can you be affectionate and annoyed at the same time?) that if there is an awkward way to do something then I will find it. Take Lent for example. My sincere intention to refrain from biscuits, chocolate and crisps lasted all of…oh….let meContinue reading “What Is Your Worst Habit?”
Isn’t It Time You Stepped Out Of Your Tomb?
We all get buried alive at some point in our lives. It can be of our own doing or we may have been the unwitting victims of other people or circumstances beyond our control. Either way we come to our senses covered in dust and fumbling around in the darkness for some way out. TheContinue reading “Isn’t It Time You Stepped Out Of Your Tomb?”
Scraps
Meet Charlie the Border Terrier. He’s the sixth member of the Black Clan. I thought he deserved a post written about him because 1. I’ve written about everyone else and didn’t want him feeling left out. Dogs have feelings too y’know and 2. He can’t write for himself like the others can. Dogs can’t writeContinue reading “Scraps”
Achilles Heel
Achilles heel. Scabbed. Won’t heal. Pick at it. Secrets revealed. Itching. Twisting. Tired of bitching. Peel it off and start again. Take the pain but what remains? Scarlet blood flows free and proud. Love and grace replace disgrace. Grit your teeth to save your face. Love again to run your race. Achilles heel. Tensed andContinue reading “Achilles Heel”
Who Are Your Favourite Bloggers?
I’m always delighted and slightly surprised when someone compliments me on my writing. It’s that inbuilt inferiority complex that I have dragged around behind me for most of my life. A nasty case of you’re-not-good-enough-itis. For many years I was so disenchanted with myself that I hid behind different characters that I created in orderContinue reading “Who Are Your Favourite Bloggers?”
Why Are We Ashamed Of Our Mental Health?
I have had full blown man flu (aka a slight cold) this week and have made a point of ensuring that the entire world has known about it. Bar putting a two page advert in the local newspaper I have done everything humanly possible to squeeze the last drop of sympathy from my cynical familyContinue reading “Why Are We Ashamed Of Our Mental Health?”
I Wonder
I wonder. If there was a rapture would I be taken or left forsaken, alone on my throne in a world of broken bones and bleeding souls. Tortured by thoughts of what if and maybe. Come back and save me. My loved ones gone in an angelic throng while I wriggle and squirm, a pitifulContinue reading “I Wonder”
For All Demons Bleed….
It’s all about me. I’m selfish you see. So vain and conceited, it’s all about me. I fight the urge, this endless dirge, the need to purge myself of me. My needs. They feed my brain. They inflict pain. I smother others with my greed. It sows the seeds which grow the roots which, whenContinue reading “For All Demons Bleed….”
All Fogs Are Temporary
My plans are in ruins! Now I’m not one to exaggerate but I had planned to go on my long run this morning only to awaken to a blanket of fog outside. A real pea souper even though that description never rang true with me as wouldn’t pea soup be green? And I’ve never seenContinue reading “All Fogs Are Temporary”
Lacey Sturm – Mercy Tree
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrgl9z3grKU&feature=share Fionnuala and Hannah are the musical maestros in the family but I thought I would crash the party and post a song by one of my favourite singers and authors, Lacey Sturm. She was formerly the lead vocalist of a band called Flyleaf who some of you may have heard of. Her words andContinue reading “Lacey Sturm – Mercy Tree”
You Are A Warrior
Adam and I went to the Kingspan Stadium in Belfast last night to watch Ulster Rugby play the Southern Kings in a Guinness Pro 14 match. We had a great night; Ulster won 59-10 and we got complimentary burgers from my brother-in-law who is in charge of the catering and hospitality at the stadium. ItContinue reading “You Are A Warrior”
What Are You Going To Stop Doing Today?
Stop it. There is something you are doing today that you should not be doing. I don’t know what it is and I don’t particularly want to. The point is you do and you know that it is wrong. Wrong to yourself and wrong to others. Damaging and destructive. You know you need to stopContinue reading “What Are You Going To Stop Doing Today?”
What Are Your Three Best Qualities?
I make a point of reading as many other blogs as I can when I can. Sometimes I comment, other times I only have time to hit the like button but I do value the work of my fellow bloggers. There is a sense of community here that I have never experienced on other socialContinue reading “What Are Your Three Best Qualities?”
Ode To OCD #1
You let me binge And now I’m singed Unhinged. Swinging from the gallows that I constructed for You. As you look on The idle god of all you survey. You smile As I decay Dismayed and flayed. Splayed in my grave Of rotating routine.
I’m Writing A Book….I Think
Some of you may know that I am currently working on my first novel. It’s fiction and is largely set in the city of Belfast but that’s all you’re getting out of me! I’m actually very reluctant to talk about it and I’ve deliberated all day about writing this post. But as I get askedContinue reading “I’m Writing A Book….I Think”
I Hear Voices In My Head
I hear voices in my head. They wish me dead. I thought they’d fled. They’d bled me dry and left the scene; my life in tatters but never matter. You knew the score and we abhor the peace you crave. We’ll hunt you to the grave and never stop until you drop this holier thanContinue reading “I Hear Voices In My Head”
New Blog Features
FracturedFaithBlog is a bit like an elegant swan. I cruise serenely above the surface taking all the plaudits while, below the waters, Fionnuala paddles furiously to keep us afloat. She does the majority of the unseen work necessary in order to keep the blog going. I just ramble on about stuff. This week has beenContinue reading “New Blog Features”
Repackage Your Heart
First World Problems have once more raised their ugly head at chez Black this last week or so. Having struggled through various sicknesses and other crises during the month of January we thought we were due a turn of fortunes. A reprieve from the trials and tribulations of modern life. But oh no for much,Continue reading “Repackage Your Heart”
Creeping Glory
For the seven of you out there who enjoy reading my running posts, I completed my online challenge yesterday to run 150 miles in the month of January. A day early no less but nobody likes a show off so I won’t brag about that. Oh hang on I just have. Anyways. It was anContinue reading “Creeping Glory”